my journal my journey
Hang in there. There are many of us in the cheering crowd.
Hang in there. There are many of us in the cheering crowd.
-
My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance. -
my journal my journey
GG... you are so interesting, i love the username 'garden girl'. post your emotions out so we can hear what is bugga ya dear. you picked a great avatar that sends a message, are things really going that bad for you? i am sorry...:l
~ripple~:hComment
-
my journal my journey
GG,
Welcome from another drunken mom (come from a line of drunk moms) Its ok you do the best you can with what you have and know!! Don't berate yourself or feel guilty (its a futile emotion i've heard... too bad im catholic)! :huggy :wd:Anxious
When the heart cries for what it has lost the spirit sings for what it has found!Comment
-
my journal my journey
Well day 3 nearly over and I have to admit that I have been at day 3 so many times ive lost count as I never tend to drink every day just very 2,3 or4 days. However something feels very different this time and I think its quite simply because I reached the point when something just had to change as I could not cope with it one more time. I think that just by saying "ok, I give up I cannot do this anymore" has enabled me to be honest with my family/friends about just how difficult it is in that first few days/weeks when you stop. Ive never done that before, normally it would go something like, ok Im so sorry ihave to stop but then I would just carry on life trying to make everything as normal as possible when inside I felt anything but normal. Now im saying well yes actually I feel very down, and weepy who knows tomorrow I may feel different again but whatever I am feeling Ihave given in and at present I cannot drink, it is not an option I can consider so I just have to go through it and carry on untill I do start to feel better. I already feel miles better than I did at 6.00pm so thats great. Anyway sorry to ramble.
onwards and upwards
GGComment
-
my journal my journey
That's great GG! Hold onto that feeling!Noelle sez "Do want you like, like what you do. Life is Good."Comment
-
my journal my journey
GG,garden girl;279905 wrote: Hi everyone on to the 2nd day of my journey, how strange that our moods change so much one day to another, I feel different again today less panicky , more down but still as determined. I am sure that the turning point for me is actually saying I give up, I cannot go on like this any longer."
onwards and upwards
GG XX
I am onwards and upwards with you.
It hurts, it sucks but WE CAN DO THIS!!
Love,
CindiAF April 9, 2016Comment
-
my journal my journey
my journal my journey
Hi Garden Girl
I am so impressed by your story. I too have a bad problem. I never drank heavily until I turned 50 yrs. I'm now 55. I hate it so much. My girls are grown and are both getting married this year. I raised them myself and I must admit, did a tremendous job!! I am living with a wonderful man that loves me dearly. I am so afraid I am disappointing everyone with my drinking!! I want to quit and have set a personal day to stop of February 29 (Leap Year) which will be significant. I am researching Topamax. Have you tried it? Something to think about.
This morning I woke up and could not remember last night. It scared me to death. I am up to almost 2 regular size bottles of wine a day. Thank you all for reading my rambelings. I'll talk to you soon.
PS:: I love gardening! It's one of my more healthy passions!When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt --Comment
-
my journal my journey
Garden Girl
You are certainly not alone. Many of us have been there. Keep trying!When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt --Comment
-
my journal my journey
Our stories sound alot alike, I will be here for you!!
I really hope that we can be as strong in the 3rd day as we are in day one and two. Belive me I have stopped drinking so many times, and said this is it, I am done, but this time is the first time in two years I have called out for help. So good luck to you and if you need as friend to talk you away from those well known urges, please IM, me joleenstreasures@yahoo.comgarden girl;278831 wrote: I need to go on this journey because this morning I watched my beautiful girls get upset because last night their mum who they love dearly got drunk again. For the past five years they have had to put up with their mum not being there once or twice sometimes even three times a week. Why? because i have a drink problem and between 6 and 8 oclock at night I have been unable to fight the urge to go and buy a bottle of wine. When I get the wine I drink it quickly because I am so ashamed of my habit and the result is that their mum who is normally there for them in every way just suddenly isnt. They so want their mum back and I am determined to give them her back and at the same time give me myself back. I am so tired of this, there has to be a turning point somewhere when even though Ive said it before this time it has to be THE time it works.My journey normally only lasts 2or 3 days and then I get off and drink, this time it just has to go on and on and on, only then will this urge to drink start to diminish and I can really concentrate on living again.Today I have done alot of things to put some help there for myself. I have asked my mum to help me,my friend yourselves, doctor and my counsellor. I know that if I can get through the first 7/10 days I will feel so strong that I wont need their help so much, but for now I hold my hands up and admit defeat, I cannot do this alone. I also cannot fail this time because I dont think I could stand another failure and my family certainly cannot. I dont suffer physical withdrawel but I do seem to get very depressed by day three. Today I feel like CXXp but very determined that today has to be different. so here goesComment
-
my journal my journey
Greenhouse
I too know what it like tohave been where you are at, recently I moved from beer to Vodka and drinking almost a full size bottle a day. Its good you have set a day to quit!!I also have a wonderful man who loves me, but I think I am pushing the envelope with him. Good luck to you!!greenhouse1;280812 wrote: Hi Garden Girl
I am so impressed by your story. I too have a bad problem. I never drank heavily until I turned 50 yrs. I'm now 55. I hate it so much. My girls are grown and are both getting married this year. I raised them myself and I must admit, did a tremendous job!! I am living with a wonderful man that loves me dearly. I am so afraid I am disappointing everyone with my drinking!! I want to quit and have set a personal day to stop of February 29 (Leap Year) which will be significant. I am researching Topamax. Have you tried it? Something to think about.
This morning I woke up and could not remember last night. It scared me to death. I am up to almost 2 regular size bottles of wine a day. Thank you all for reading my rambelings. I'll talk to you soon.
PS:: I love gardening! It's one of my more healthy passions!Comment
-
my journal my journey
At last and this is the second time Ive typed all this I lost the first alot. Thankyou for all your lovely comments and support, I hope as I get stronger I can repay you all back. Another day nearly over and although I have still been very anxious tonight I am stilll in the same mindset in that I cannot drink at the moment. I have thrown my towel into the ring and have given in to AL. He has beaten me, I cannot beat him or control him so I give up , throw the towel in and Im walking away, simple as that. I really do feel different this time and it is definately because I am approaching it in a different way. I am having some health issues at present not related to AL so will go to docs tomorrow, I could just do without anything else to worry about but such is life. hope everybody has had a good day.
GGComment
-
my journal my journey
GG well done for today, your approach about the boxing ring and walking away is definitely helping me too. Thanks. Be strong tomorrow and good luck at the Drs.
JanicexxxAF since 9 May 2012
Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)Comment
-
my journal my journey
I just didnt make it on day 5 and I know why. I was not in the same mindest. I gave my self the choice to drink or not and made the wrong choice. I got in the ring with AL and took a beating. Today I throw the towel in and walk away I no longer drink, it is not an option. I have chosen to stop. Catch up later
GGComment
-
my journal my journey
You'll do it GG, just keep trying.AF since 9 May 2012
Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)Comment
-
my journal my journey
WEll day 6 was as bad as day 5 and again its because I lost the focus. Hubby and I were at loggerheads all day I got really upset and used wine to numb the pain as always. However, after a lovely mothers day and a lot of thinking I am right back on track and more deternmined than ever to get a good 14 days af in plus some more. I do not drink I do not drink, my brother asked me if I wanted a glass of wine at lunch said no thanks I am teetotal hope and pray to say that everyday. Feeling good. Hope everyone is staying strong.
first week over and 5 out of 7 isnt too bad.
GG
onwards and upwardsComment
Comment