I am off on a pretty grand adventure. Actually it is a test of the strength of my very soul. I feel like a character on Lord of the Rings. Here Croft, carry this glass of vodka in this delicate but extremely attractive container to the land of pretty sights and beautiful people, where men will find you attractive no matter what you wear, say or do. The smell of smoke and alcohol will dance around you in waves of delight. Everything you see will be wondrous and tempting but you will not be allowed to partake of any of it. I MEAN IT! And whatever you do, no matter how strong the urge, even if your very life depends on it??.DO NOT DRINK THE VODKA!!!!
I am going with a bunch of girls. These are great girls. We have been doing this trip for several years in a row now and we always have a TOTAL blast. But these girls are not like me. You see these girls are the kind of people who drink on a Friday night because their husband is making his favorite recipe of margaritas and the Baker?s from next door are coming over for Mexican food. Whereas, I am the sort of person that drinks because it is eight o?clock in the morning and I am really not that picky about the recipe.
The trip generally starts with shots of whisky in the parking lot of the airport. Why wait until we actually get to Vegas? Then we take little 3 ounce plastic bottles filled with more whisky onto the plane in Ziploc baggies. You see the stewards cannot keep up. By the time we get to Vegas we are pretty well sloshed. We call it a successful trip if we find our hotel room on the first night.
And the stories are many. We have been almost kidnapped by the Indian mafia, touched by Prince, twirled by the Chippendales, dressed by the stage crew of Jubilee, married to George Clooney and saved by Buffy the Vampire Slayer! And that is only the tip of the iceberg.
I am worried about the trip this year and you can tell; just take a look at the drink tracker.
I am going with a bunch of girls. These are great girls. We have been doing this trip for several years in a row now and we always have a TOTAL blast. But these girls are not like me. You see these girls are the kind of people who drink on a Friday night because their husband is making his favorite recipe of margaritas and the Baker?s from next door are coming over for Mexican food. Whereas, I am the sort of person that drinks because it is eight o?clock in the morning and I am really not that picky about the recipe.
The trip generally starts with shots of whisky in the parking lot of the airport. Why wait until we actually get to Vegas? Then we take little 3 ounce plastic bottles filled with more whisky onto the plane in Ziploc baggies. You see the stewards cannot keep up. By the time we get to Vegas we are pretty well sloshed. We call it a successful trip if we find our hotel room on the first night.
And the stories are many. We have been almost kidnapped by the Indian mafia, touched by Prince, twirled by the Chippendales, dressed by the stage crew of Jubilee, married to George Clooney and saved by Buffy the Vampire Slayer! And that is only the tip of the iceberg.
I am worried about the trip this year and you can tell; just take a look at the drink tracker.
eace:
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