I never really drank much in my early years, but about 5 years into a really bad marriage (he had several affairs and was a workaholic) it started to become a real problem. I'm 50 now. I divorced the loser, I'm marrying the most wonderful man in the world next month and my drinking and smoking are still out of control. I do pretty well when there are people around me, however, being alone has always been a trigger for me. Also, in some social situations I end up drinking more than I should. I want to stop at two!!
The thought of NEVER having another glass of wine again in my life is not something I want to think about at this moment. I was told by a therapist that I have a "moderate" drinking problem (whatever that means) so I'm going with the moderation approach. We live on a lake and there is a lot of socializing that goes on around here and I would like to still be a part of that. Have a couple of drinks, switch to water, have a great time, no hangover in the morning end of story.
I don't want to pour all the booze down the sink, get new non-drinking friends and go to 7 meetings a week. I just want to be able to control what is going on. I feel like when I look back, I drank initially to numb myself and than it just became a habit.
I read an article today that topamax also curbs cravings for nicotine. I am a party puffer (ashamed of that too since no one does it anymore) so I decided I'm going to try to stop both of these ridiculous addictions simultaneously, as they are so intertwined. I never have a drink without a cig in my hand.
My dad had a serious problem. He never was able to quit drinking and when he tried his hands would shake and it was really difficult for him. He died at 73 and I'm sure his alcohol habit contributed greatly. I don't want to walk down his road.
Anyway, I've enjoyed reading the posts and I know this is not a miracle pill and I plan to really work this program. Any suggestions, advice etc. would be greatly appreciated. I so want to get off this merry-go-round.
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