They are going well, easier than I thought. I just had to make up my mind that I was kidding myself by thinking that I wasn't drinking too much and that my drinking didn't affect anyone in my life. Previous attempts to cut back were not sincere and thus failures.
I was a daily drinker for a long time - 7-8 years? I didn't get hammered or hungover, it was a habit. A sidekick because I am an adult and I can. For a long time it was self-medication. I was depressed and my wineglass kept me company. I sought help for my depression through therapy and resolved the issues that were holding me back (mostly!) but I never discussed my drinking with my therapist. Or my husband.
I am ashamed that I hid how much I drank from people. I am ashamed that my children witnessed my constant wine glass and carried my empties to the recycling bin. I worry that it's too late to undo that message to them. I am pissed that I've hurt my body and wasted life.
When I first found this site, it was because of the idea of moderation. I wonder if I can be a moderate drinker again? For now I think it's best if I hold out. I've stood firm to some serious cravings. And I've had a headache every day.
But I'm here. Thank you for the community.
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