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Deep scary breath!

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    Deep scary breath!

    Ok guys. I really have to do this thing. Had an awful week, been drinking terribly since Monday evening - jumped in the freezing cold, flooded river that evening. Missed college the day after to get smashed again. Went out ratted for a meal with my partner then let clients down the next day because I couldn't get out of bed. Comfort ate all evening with cans of cider and depressed all day Thursday - let more clients down again. Lay in bed again Friday and broke down again that evening. Drank two bottles of wine last night, stuffed my face with more comfort food.

    Woke up feeling sick with blocked drains, no confidence and my business going to pot. Been trying the Topa since September, have Glutamine as part of my sports supps along with AAs and some GABA so taken them today. I just know in a few days when I start looking and feeling better the old cravings are going to come back.

    #2
    Deep scary breath!

    When you start feeling better, come back to read this post to remind yourself of how yucky you feel today. Our mind always tries to trick us that we won't let it get out of control the next time. Remember what it is you want and that you don't want to piss it away on the asshole AL; he'll sucker punch you every time, kick his ass first.
    Goal 1: Today
    Goal 2: Tomorrow

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      #3
      Deep scary breath!

      Right there with you. Just came off a 4 day binge myself. Keep coming here.

      Comment


        #4
        Deep scary breath!

        I hope you feel better soon :h
        Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
        - George Jackson

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          #5
          Deep scary breath!

          stick with it

          I'm a binger myself. Take the supplements and vitamins. Set them up in a med tray to take during the day. It helps...if nothing else, it makes you feel like you are doing something about it. And with 4 or 5 times a day dosing, sometimes it is just having them there to make it to that can get you past the moments craving. It is the helpless feeling towards drinking alcohol that can be the most despairing! At least it is/was for me. I stopped my last binge a week ago Monday. Longest time I have gone without in years.

          While my head is clearer than it has been in years. It is hard not to feel a little lost as well. If you have the CDs, sometimes going off to listen to them is not a bad way to deal with a moment of weakness either. Or you can always talk to someone on here...we seem to go through a lot of the same stuff!

          Take care...here if you want to chat...

          A

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            #6
            Deep scary breath!

            Well said Lukalee...

            Ukblonde, sounds like a bad week, that AL monster sneaking up behind you, taking you by suprise..... Knuckle down and beat it, the monster must not win... Good luck and keep posting.

            Oh and, blocked drains are my speciallity, maybe I can help... Lol
            TIGGER1 :l
            _____________

            Formerly Mr Boop

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              #7
              Deep scary breath!

              Hey, I am on day 5 now. My problem is sleeping, I am getting tired during the day - and quite stressed. I have a good, active job - self employed so well occupied - am back working out swim, gym, gentle jog once a day and got family/bf to fill up other times too. When I get to bed it's usually late and usual story is from day 3 onwards I can't sleep, drop off then wake all anxious. Get up each 2 big protein bars, go back to bed feeling sickly. This will happen everynight til I can't fight the cravings for AL anymore and I drink again.

              This has been part of my cycle for 18 months now and I want to beat it. Have been taking the GABA x3 per day, L-glut 10g plus 5 htp x2 caps. Trying to eat hi-protein diet during the day but doesn't help my bars are choccy flavour. I buy them by the box as it's better value, and they are then always handy for snack before weight training - but I do tend to binge on them when I wake feeling anxious. Then I feel fat and useless - eventually I am more tempted to drink because AL makes me forget all these battles.

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                #8
                Deep scary breath!

                Monster is right. AL is the biggest, baddest, but yet sneakest monster there is.

                I hope you feel better soon.

                Keep on trying, keeping on coming back here. Stay with us! Dont give up!

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                  #9
                  Deep scary breath!

                  I'm new, but I can relate to what you're saying......hang in there...I hope I can read the threads when I get that urge to say it's okay......I keep reading that people don't want to, and they come back to the site to spill their dissappointments of AL.

                  For me, this is sooo much better than AA.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Deep scary breath!

                    Hey Ukb...great job getting to day 5! I know you're trying to eat a high protein diet, but what does the rest of your diet look like? Is it balanced? You may want to take another look at your protein bars. I find many of them laden with sugar. Even the ones that say "low sugar" seem to have plenty of "sugar alcohol" which is typically listed separately. I know the more I have sugar, the more I crave sugar -- just like alcohol (which, by the way is basically sugar). Just some food for thought...
                    ~K.

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                      #11
                      Deep scary breath!

                      sleep

                      Do you have the hypnotherapy cds? When I listen to them I almost always doze off. If I'm pretty alert after listening, I listen again. Hope this helps.
                      Hang in there--you can do this!
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Deep scary breath!

                        Ok, I have fallen of. Just read the posts and looked at my bars - reads Total Carbs 31g Sugars 0g Sugar Alcohol 21g.........is this real bad? Is there a better bar I can buy?

                        I sometimes need something I can eat real quick - sometimes have used tubs of cottage cheese but these can be a little unsociable/look wierd. Used to be a bb'er and during a AF phase did rip up pretty quick using this sort of diet so I am not scared - only my friends!A protein bar looks a bit 'friendlier'.

                        I have the cd's on my ipod, tried them a few times but didn't see much result. Often I stay at my BF's and playing them there is not an option really or I would forget my ipod. He tried some so he could stop smoking and is not convinced - thinks they are "all the same".I have a speaker system in my flat which makes it easy but a bit concerned about rolling around and breaking my ipod at his - I am very active in my sleep and likely to fight with the thing! perhaps I may try again.......

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                          #13
                          Deep scary breath!

                          I'd say cottage cheese is better. those protein bars are full of junk and sugar no wonder why you can't sleep.
                          good luck UKblonde. keep in touch
                          You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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