Trying yet again

[Life]

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I am 39 and have been battling this for at least 20 years. It has now come to ahead and my husband and I spoke today and he said that perhaps we should seperate. We love each other dearly he controls his drinking, but I haven't ever been able to. If I don't do something serious now I will loose him. We have two small children and I don't want us to part. So why is it so hard for me to stop when I am faced with this option. My family or the drink. I feel pathetic that I cannot stick to not drinking. I have done aa and seen counselers over the years, and yet I still do it. I really don't know what to do next. We have decided to give ourselves 6 months, but he is sceptical that we can work it out. I am hungover today, and really don't want to drink anymore because I hate what it is doing. But then tomorrow I will feel better, and in a few days, I won't think I have a problem at all. Although my drinking has been the cause of many issues, he has never ever talked about seperating. I don't drink everyday, but there is no such thing as a couple of drinks with me. I am wasting my life, I don't know what to do to stay off it. I know my life will be 100% better if I don't drink, and that of my family too. I don't drink in the day, but start at about 5pm. I am sick of it, but I have been saying that for years... I don't know what to do next...

[Nicole2003]

Trying yet again

Hi there, well for a start don't give up hope. A few things you can try - read the book, try the meds, the herbs, the CDs - eventually you will find what works for you. Above all read lots and post lots. Many will have similar stories to and you can learn from their experiences. I'm not saying it happens overnight and certainly it is hard in the beginning but the benefits are endless. Also try to look after yourself - exercise a little everyday if you can, eat well and rest when you can. I know all that seems like a huge task when you are going through such difficult personal stuff but you will get plenty of emotional support on here and even if you can start to implement a few of the above suggestions it will be of benfit to you.
Wishing you all the very best of luck for your goals.
Nicole

[glass Kat]

Trying yet again

Life,
Wow, girl can I relate! My drinking is a huge source of stress in my marriage, yet I continue to choose to drink, and lie to my hubby about my drinking. Last night he found my secret stash. I need to get to the root of my crazy mind, and understand why I am choosing to drink.

Today is day 1 AF for me, care to join me? Kat

[tlrgs]

Trying yet again

hi there life

welcome... it took lot for me to stop drinking by that i mean hitting rock bottom. it look like you have been given a chance to change so you are the only one that can really do it for yourself. so here work on it this way.you dont want to lose your family. like i did .yes i lost them. and now i have them back in my life now .because i have stop drinking and it has make me a better person. so you have to decide what you want the most .al or family.
good luck please dont take this the wrong way

[Cinders]

Trying yet again

Life,

I am posting a reply without looking at everyone else's posts. Why??

Because, there is the reality and the "love of everyone else."

So, I may be following in every one else's footsteps but I must say. This AFFLICTION hurts. Period. If your husband is not loving enough to care then you must live with that. (OMG, I cannot believe I just said that because I do lay most of the blame at our feet.)

However, if you truly want to change, truly want to be sober, we are here. Period.

We will let you vent, scream, yell, whatever. You can do it here. That is okay.

On the other hand, if there is more going on, something you cannot address by being AF for a while, then you MUST take care of it.

Been there, still here. Waiting for my psych consult...

Life is not simple.

In the past, you would have simply let hubby take the kids and go quietly away. Today, you can let that happen but reserve the right to take them back!!

Wow. I would NEVER have written this 5 years ago when both of my kids were alcoholics, but today I understand.

We are GOOD people with a drinking problem. No, we absolutely do not want to endanger anyone without behavior, NOONE, but if we can control our behavior, we can be GREAT (grandparents, parents, mommys, daddys) whatever.

We are not worthless member of society. At least, I am not and so many in AA that I deal with. We are Functioning members of society. Just a part of a group of people that have a hard time with alcohol.

Do what you need to to get sober.

Sober is awesome.

Love,
Cindi

[Noelle]

Trying yet again

You have to try and break the cycle. It's a vicious cycle, drinking is. But don't give up. Think about your kids and your husband when you feel like drinking, maybe that will help......

[daisy-doo]

Trying yet again

Hi life, boy I can relate, been battling for 20 years too, sorry to say lost many relationships some good some not through drink and still keep doing it . But i just try to never keep trying to give up day 3 af for me very determined sick of this merry go round . Doing the meds coming on here is a great help to me and being sick to the core of me of what drink does to my life . So if you want to join me in getting out of this hell hole would love a buddy. And you have got 6 months to sort this out with your husband so all is not lost , give it your best short we are all behind you love and support daisy x x

[Croft]

Trying yet again

Even if you dont read the book, try the Kudzu. I think it works wonders.

Please come hang out here as much as you can. This group has been a life-saver for me and so many others.

Stay with us. Live one day at time and don't give up.