how do i tell if my husband and i are functioning alcoholics? i read the "if you have to ask, you have a problem" but to what extent and what course of action is best? we never used to drink at home or through the week, but now we drink probably 4 nights per week, once or twice until quite drunk, one or twice just a couple of drinks. i read other posts and think "we dont drink nearly as much as other people" but i still feel like our drinking has increased in quantity and frequency. we never miss work, have financial problems, etc., we never need a drink the next morning (neither of us has ever had a drink in the morning) or have any physical symptoms of addiction that ive read on forums, but whenever we have a bad day, or something to celebrate it seems that we say "lets have a drink". my mom and my husbands father are both alcoholics. we are now at the point where we say "no more drinking through the week" and that usually lasts a couple of weeks and then we relapse, for a few weeks and then stop again. but i stopped buying gin (my drink of choice) for the house since it was difficult to track how much i had; at home, my husband drinks whiskey, i drink wine. usually if i start a 750ml bottle, i come close to finishing it. i knew a "real" alcoholic who would drink ANYTHING just to get a drink. we wont do that, so sometimes i tell myself we dont have a problem, we're just sometimes-heavy, mostly moderate social drinkers. are we in denial or am i being paranoid? i tend to over analyze and i have anxiety disorder so i naturally over-worry about things, so i dont know if this is one of those things. i want us to cut way back or quit if we need to, my husband just thinks we should cut back. we both enjoy fine dining and we enjoy drinking and neither one of us wants to stop entirely, but i dont want either one of us to be in the position of some people whose posts ive read where there is a really serious problem. advice?:
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are we functional alcoholics?
Totally same boat as you. Welcome. My husband is not a drinker so I am the one filling up the recycling bins. I know just from the sheer quantity that it cannot be good (most nights two bottles of wine) but if I only do one bottle a night I consider that good (and that is not good either). I am the most anxiety ridden person as well and I read and listen to every study out there about how much alcohol is too much and I know that contributes to my worrying about it. I also believe that if it is on your mind and you are thinking you have a problem then you might. My dad died from alcoholism and I know my personality is very much like his which scares the @#%$ out of me so I am now very aware. I STILL have not gotten off my butt to fully do this program; no excuses, just scared and worried I will fail and then what??? Sounds like you and your hubby are functioning heavy drinkers (like my wording?)if you both are commenting on it. Stay in touch if you do the program and keep us updated. I need all the encouragement I can get................... -
are we functional alcoholics?
thank you for your reply. i spent a lot of time in the chat on this site today and it really helped. i will definitely start with the book, and see how that goes.Comment
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are we functional alcoholics?
Don't know if this is great advice or what.....just what I have heard over the years
: ............."If you think you may have a problem, you probably do. only you can really figure that out"
I know, for me, I was like you are a few years back.....BUT, got worse, started having that morning drink, bloody mary, mimosa, you name it...it was ok, cuz others I was with were having them too!...right??:
I am trying to moderate w/ the topamax, and from what others say, it works....stick around, read the posts and write alot, ask questions........you're already on your way!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!:happy
Mary Anne:P :hComment
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are we functional alcoholics?
i knew a "real" alcoholic who would drink ANYTHING just to get a drink.
This line you wrote jumps out at me. I am a "real" alcoholic (I've just come to realise) and I pretty much only drink wine. I could be dying for a drink, have a six-pack of beer in the fridge someone left, and not even be remotely tempted by it. Nor would I drink tequila or gin or whiskey, etc. But that doesn't mean I don't have a problem.
The fact that you think you have a problem and have started making 'rules' for yourself (no drinking in week, etc.) makes it pretty obvious you do have a problem. You love to drink. You love it maybe too much.
Set yourself ONE FINAL TEST. Allow yourself no more than 1 drinking night a week, and no more than 3 drinks on that night. If you can keep that up for 6 months, I will believe you don't have a problem and you can moderate.
If you are like most of us, the drinking isn't going to get better, only worse, hence giving up is the best option.Comment
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are we functional alcoholics?
Hi all, I just wanted to jump in a bit to say that alcoholism is a progressive, physical disease and will have stages. It affects your brain transmitters, your physical body, etc. There are different types of alcoholics as well, such as the THIQ II, the allergic/addicted, etc. In order to recover, you need to restore your normal physical capability, specifically the brains neurotransmitters, which is where the amino's come in. You also need to heal your body's physical damage so that it doesn't completely deteriorate to the tremors, parkinson's, etc.
This is not just a weakness of the spirit or mind but a very real disease with physical symptoms and causes which you need to address in order to recover and restore your health. Yes we all need the support emotionally and it is great here, but the best thing about this program and some other similar programs is that it addresses the core problem which is causing your disease to progress and get worse. Please read the book, follow the program, also read Seven Weeks to Sobriety which RJ has also read. Don't stand for current society's opinion that alcoholism is a "weakness". It's a disease and must be treated and addressed. You have to grow to recovery. Just like you could not go out and run a marathon without training and building up your body and mind, so you can't "fix" your alcohol problems with just the mental effort. Best to all as we all work to rid ourselves of this disease and regain our health.Comment
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