I am on day 3 and the witching hour is upon me, my husband is having a beer by the pool watching the kids. I even asked how many beers he has. Two he said ( I know this is probably not true). I thought ok well I will just go down and get two beers and then I can't have any more. This is my day 3 thinking. On day one I was blabbing on about how excited I was that I had made the decision not to drink anymore. Al seems to be everywhere, tv, shopping, people drinking. I know that 1 drink is never enough for me and that my husband has given me 6 months to sort myself out, so why am I even contemplating getting two beers. The urge is getting stronger as each day passes. Tomorrow is Friday.. you know relax with a drink, but then there is the sat morning of regrets and the same old story. I feel a bit pissed off that only 3 days ago we had a heart to heart about my problem and that although it is not his problem, to have a beer infront of me seems to annoy me. He has said that He will not stop drinking because he is in control and enjoys the odd drink, which sounds fair enough, but my head is telling me something else. I can't blame him, but i want to . I came on here instead of the bottle shop. I am scared that I will give in, if not today but tomorrow or the next day or next week. I know I have to think of each day at a time...
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Beer by the pool
:ls to you Life
Same problem here. Hang on to what you know is Truth......It is hard but so worth it....You are not alone in this......
:hNancy"Be still and know that I am God"
Psalm 46:10 -
Beer by the pool
Funny that isn't it, you don't realise quite how much western society is in love with AL until you're out of the loop.Life;285669 wrote: Al seems to be everywhere, tv, shopping, people drinking....'The only people who give you a hard time (for stopping drinking) are those who used to look to your drinking to excess to legitimise theirs, and they'll find someone else to do that in time. '
From an Amazon review of Allan Carr's ' Easy Way to Control Alcohol'Comment
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Beer by the pool
Life, knowing that the coming weekend will be difficult for you, can you ask your husband to be extra-supportive and not drink (at least not in your presence) for the next several days? Just to get you through this first weekend. It could very well put you in a better place for all the weekends that follow. I know I dreaded my first full AF weekend...but things eased once I got through it. Good luck and keep reaching out. :h~K.Comment
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Beer by the pool
Life,
I agree, ask him very kindly to not have drink around you for a bit.
My husband would pour out any alcohol someone brought to the house. Of course, my alcoholism has gone well beyond yours.
He likes his odd drink, too, but forgoes it so that I am not tempted.
Love,
CindiAF April 9, 2016Comment
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Beer by the pool
My husband continues to drink wine (just a glass or two), but he is discreet about it. He goes to another room, puts it in a coffee cup, keeps the bottle in a drownstaris refrigerator which I don't have to open. He has in the past told me I drank too much, but he then finally began ignoring my drinking, ("I can't make it my problem"). Maybe yours would do the coffee cup thing.My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.Comment
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Beer by the pool
you know why life is so great because of these everyday test and yes we all know how easy it is to say yes so why cant we just say no and keep on saying it.. good luck and be strong. you can do this:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..Comment
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Beer by the pool
Life, can you ask him to not drink around you for a bit. A couple weeks or months until you get used to your new AF life?MarcieComment
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Beer by the pool
Hi life,
if your husband has given you 6months to sort yourself out.....and he had a heart to heart talk to you about your problem.... i think at least he could not drink in front of you and try to support you.... it seems your husband is lying to you about his drinking maybe he has a problem to as well....Hang in there be strong you can do this just keep thinking positive. keep posting and reading. we are here for you.
Love
Teardrop.xfamily is everything to meComment
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Beer by the pool
I totally agree with this. And if you phrase the request like "I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to join you. I get nervous having beer in the refrigerator in the kitchen. You can help me by keeping it out of my sight." He might be less likely to be defensive.Teardrop;285767 wrote: Hi life,
if your husband has given you 6months to sort yourself out.....and he had a heart to heart talk to you about your problem.... i think at least he could not drink in front of you and try to support you....
keep it up!The untold want, by life and land ne?er granted,
Now, Voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find.
W Whitman
90+ days yay!Comment
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Beer by the pool
I agree, he gives you 6 months but is insensitive to your struggle. But keep busy this weekend, whatever it takes, shopping, swimming it'll help. Have you thought of taking any of the supplements? It might help with the cravings. Big doses of Vit B's helped me.Comment
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Beer by the pool
Be strong!
I know that little voice you are talking about. It was wispering sweet nothings to me last night.
I just passed day 4 yesterday and if I can do it I know you can!
I am sorry that your hubby is not supportive. The MWO team has already given you pleanty of good advice on that....
Keep fighting the fight and know that you are not alone.
:huggy
Laura~Laura
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results................... Albert EinsteinComment
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Beer by the pool
I am really sorry to hear that your husband has given you the 6-month time-frame, but that his actions do not seem to match his words. If you can, a talk with him about showing his support for you during this hard time would be a good idea.
The first couple of weeks are so hard. Do you have the supplements or CDs yet? They help soooo much.
I wish you so much luck and support as you fight the big bad AL monster. I know it is hard. Stay strong and postivie. And remember that you are doing this for YOU!!!!!
Stay with us!!!!Comment
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Beer by the pool
Hi again,
When I told my husband I was quitting, his first question was, "Do I have to quit too?" We are happily married over 27 years, but we all have our selfish moments. He has been supportive as I have mentioned, and we really don't talk about this issue much. I reassured him that he didn't have to quit - just love me unconditionally. We just go about our daily lives of work and lots of other activities. Relationships are all so diferent!My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.Comment
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Beer by the pool
When I quit drinking, I didn't have anyone's ultimatum over my head but my own. I told my husband that I needed to stop drinking, and he didn't volunteer to NOT drink in front of me. The OLD me used to love when he went to bed, because he'd take a tall strong drink to bed and not drink it (Sailor Jerry's rum, 92 proof, and diet coke- oh the Drink Fairy was such a kind fairy and used to slither over to his side of the bed and get it for me
).... Anyway, when the NEW me told him I was going to stop drinking, he started pouring out his drink and go to bed without it.
You are right, Juliana, our relationships are so different. Not better or worse, just different. For me, this is MY problem, and whether I'm in a crowded bar or in a church, I must make my own decisions about my sobriety.
Life, I clearly remember my first AF weekend, and my devious mind was thinking that I had "over-reacted", and that alcohol was not REALLY a problem.... and as the Friday night grew LONGGGGGGER.... I started to get ticked off that I wasn't drinking!
And then, I started to feel sorry for myself because EVERYONE ELSE was drinking, and I WAS WASTING MY WEEKEND AWAY by BEING SOBER!!!! WTF????? Seriously, looking back, that was the little deviant Alcohol bug that was whispering in my ear,
"Just one beer, Patty, just ONE"....
Miss Life, set yourself up for success. Get your favorite glass, and designate what your drink will be. PLAN. Cranberry with Club Soda, AF beer.... do you have any? It's NOT cheating to have an AF beer, and they can be quite tasty.... and for some odd reason, I don't chug them. Sip your Beck's AF as your honey swills down his Miller.
Stay strong, Life. Let's just make it till Sunday, okay? You will feel SO PROUD of your accomplishment on Monday morning, and no one can take that away from you. :huggy:
Much love,:heart:
Patty
Tampa, FLComment
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