pregnant

[Guest]

pregnant

alcohol

Gina,
Thanks for the 'tech' info; reassuring. I am wondering, though, what about women who give birth to children with fetal alcohol syndrome? I am not really worried about that, because from what I read and what the dr said, that generally is for women who continue to drink heavilythroughout the whole pregnancy. But, how would FAS occur at all if the embryo were miscarried that early. (the all-or-nothing situation)

Thanks,
CS

[Guest]

pregnant

caffeine

Also -- any thoughts on caffeine? My dr. said 1 cup of coffee a day was OK, but I am finding that harder to limit than the beer/wine! Guess I could switch to half-caf...

I also found some interesting reports online from England's Royal College of Gynecologists on limited/moderate drinking during pregnancy. I do believe the US is awfully puritanical in its beliefs toward alcohol (also why the AA 'model' persists as the 'only answer' for many).

CS

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: alcohol

I think and this is just my opinion that FAS occurs from someone drinking heavily throughout the pregnancy and not just in the first couple of weeks. I once read/heard, and those who have the background can correct me, that the embryos are not connected to our bloodstreams for the first couple of weeks and this is another reason why early alcohol consumption is not a concern. Is this the case?

-Nina

[Guest]

pregnant

pregnancy and ETOH

Hi CS,
Darn, I wish I still had that book around. I knew I was done after my 3rd and got rid of it. I just remember that the 1st 2 weeks involve implantation. From week 4-12 (starting at 2 weeks after conception) all the organs are forming rapidly. This is when FAS can occur if heavy drinking is occuring. This is when you see gross physical malformations, etc.. After this point, FAE (fetal alcohol effects) can occur. These are less subtle symptoms, more like cognitive and behavioral issues. That again, is if the drinking is heavy. I remember having friends who were told by their MD later in pregnancy to have a glass of wine/day. It is supposed to relax the uterus and prevent premature labor. Caffeine, in moderation, is ok from what I remember. I know I couldn't give up my diet pepsi and iced tea. You sound good! Are you getting more excited? All the best! Gina

[Guest]

pregnant

pregnancy and ETOH

Americans ARE Puritanical

I once had a friend who had no bad habits, and when she got pregnant, she gave up coffee, alcohol (never drank more than a glass or two socially anyway), never smoked, either, blah, blah, still gave birth to a down's syndrome son. I had invitro fertilization to have my daughter (stressful process and the hormones made me a wild woman:evil ) and my then husband and I were splitting a bottle of wine a couple of times a week, and I asked the doctors at the clinic about this, and they said it was okay until my test came up positive, and then I should really limit my alcohol consumption to 1-2/week. I drank two cups of coffee a day, smoked 3-5 cigarettes a day (people looked at me like I was an ax-murder), and maybe had two glasses of wine a week during my pregnancy). My daughter does have ADHD, which I have learned is connected with cigarette smoking during pregnancy, but we also have a family history of ADHD. (I think my ex has it, and his mother couldn't keep her head on one thought longer than a bird can stay on a twig! ) I think the most important thing is to relax. I think that Gina is right, and the first trimester is pretty important. All the best and take care of yourself and your new little one!

[Guest]

pregnant

FAS

Gina and Nina - That's the information that I remember hearing - about the embryo not being implanted, etc.

CS - I am so excited for you! I know it's stupid to tell you not to worry, but you have many months ahead of you to do that. Try to enjoy the pregnancy if you can. Are you having morning sickness, etc? I always had late afternoon sickness.

It was weird because I didn't want wine or beer at all when I was pregnant. It was like my tastebuds changed or something. I guess I was lucky. But I really don't think one drink every once in a while is going to give the baby FAS. It's my understanding that FAS occurs with very heavy drinking.

Good luck and keep us all posted.

Jane.

[Guest]

pregnant

sugar!

The thing that is driving me bonkers all week is wanting dessert! Yesterday it was not just any dessert but chocolate. And I NEVER want sweets. I am sure it is because I have cut out the alcohol. I'd like to be able to take the amino acids or something from the program but I really should ask the dr first, and I don't want to tell her how much I had been drinking. I have wanted a beer or a glass of wine, especially when my husband and I went out for pizza last night, but know that I shouldn't, at least not right now.

I have not been morning sick at all either, so that makes me wonder. Maybe it's too early.

Thanks,
CS

[Guest]

pregnant

oh happy day

congratulations CS! i hope you are feeling good.

whenever i've cut out alcohol, sugar's on my mind, as it is right now!

as my mama says: 'the answers will come.' so, for every question -and there must be a zillion- i hope you trust that you'll know what you need to know. i'm loving this thread, and your news. it's reassuring as all get-up to read of your pregnancy. pardon my selfishness. i have so oft thought that i would have probs conceiving cause of alcohol. glad to know that you- with a similiar talent for drinking as i (to whatever degree that may be!)- are able to get pregnant. it gives me hope. for the past five months we've been trying. a part of me thinks i have been preggers a few times but the embryo left cause i had binged on drinkey-poo. i was, in ways, relieved to get my period, as i wouldn't have to worry about the FAS question. now i'm getting impatient, so here's to sobriety and an embryo feeling welcome and safe.

oh, i dont' think 40's that old. two cousins of my gave birth at 41-42. it can be done and done well!!!

i fully agree with the us puritanical thing. it's frustrating and painful. please love yourself and know that things happen for a reason. you have done no harm. thank you for sharing. please keep us posted. may you and yours be filled with love and light. and may pregnancy be contagious, as they say it is...

onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

emotional roller coaster

Onoclea,
Thanks for your nice comments. The sugar cravings have not bveen as bad this week. My thought processes, or lack thereof, are in some sort of holding pattern, though. We spent the weekend with my sister and her 9-wk old baby, as well as my best friend and her 4 children. So lots of kid-environment. My friend knows (thank god, cause I need her support) but my sister does not. I went to the dr. Mon. and she wants an ultrasound before they do the testing in a few weeks. Yesterday I was just in tears, because I feel more in shock than excited. When we came home from the weekend, all I could think about was rearranging furniture/rooms of our house. Much easier to think about than actual baby! I just feel confused and overwhelmed. Part of it is that I am a real Type A personality, and this wasn't really part of the "plan," so it has really thrown me for a loop, as my husband said. this was the year I planned on taking control of my drinking, but I didn't think that this was going to be the kickoff!

I also don't know if there are any extra emotional triggers from having cut my drinking out/way down. I have had a glass of wine here and there. I miss drinking but I don't miss drinking a lot. It's a little weird cause my husband has beers every night. I guess i feel like I am embarking on something new and scary, not only the baby but not drinking from the moment I get home till the moment I go to bed. Maybe it's facing emotions I was too numb to bother thinking about before. "Oh, if I get pregnant, I'll deal with it when the time comes." Well, it's here!

My life has been very discombobulated for several years now -- loss of job, health concerns, several part-time jobs, started a business, and now this. AND my kitchen ceiling is currently ripped out to fix a bathroom leak! So it has been a hard year to try to keep it together. I guess I should just focus on what is important.

Good luck in your pregnancy quest. I enjoy your posts; I too am a teacher. I agree with you that things do happen for a reason, and we are not always in control, no matter how much we try to be.

Take care,
CS

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: emotional roller coaster

hi CS,
thanks for sharing yourself, your experience.

yeah, "i'll deal with it when i'm pregnant" is a familiar refrain in my mind. argh. i'm struggling here. hoping pregnancy will save me. i can't seem to stay on that wagon. i've for so long been highly functional with my drinking habits, yet never comfortable with them. now that i am so yearning to be pregnant, i'm in an powerful interface with sobriety and bingeing, potential motherhood and 'doing what i will to do'. is it will? currently, i am not clean and sober, and it is troubling me. so troubling. i wish to be pregnant. tonight might be the night i conceive, so from here on in, i will try harder to stay clean. why is it so hard? (well, because i have a disease, or, dis-ease, is what i tell myself.)

anyway, i'm struggling here. and i'm happy to know that those, such as your beautiful self with similar struggles, have been given the cue to get it together, have been able to follow that cue.

please wish me luck. mine is the kind of drinking that could go on forever without obvious damage related to it. but in light of trying to make a baby -at 36 years old- i'm knowing i can't continue to do what i've been doing. please wish me luck. please send me your good vibes. i feel like an a-s for desiring such things as i don't feel worthy of. argh. will check in again soon when i'm in a better state of mind.

i wish i knew you personally, i wish you were my next-door neighbor. sister teacher, much love goes out to you.

-onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

paranoid

Hi Onoclea,
Good to hear from you -- I've been checking back here ... particularly since I read Dr. Garcia's comment on her discussion thread, to someone who was concerned about Topa. I felt that she didn't really answer her question; yes I know she is the medical professional, so I don't want to be critical, but I feel kinda judged. I have done plenty of searches on FAS, and Gina (who is a nurse) had helpful comments from her embryology textbooks. So now I am not worried so much about my current habits but all the drinking from before. This totally was not part of our plan (of course, we could have been better about birth control) so while I knew that I wanted to cut down on drinking, my plan was to do so after the New Year/my b-day. So of course I drank as much as usual -- didn't need to use the holidays as an excuse! (oh yeah, too much 'egg nog' -- ha ha.)

Anyway, I am trying to listen to the voice in my head, or the "things happen for a reason" mantra. Am I going to be punished or is it a different message? I know I can't change what happened before. I sure as hell wasn't living clean and sober.

It is hard not to drink. I told my husband that i have been gone thru a lot of emotonal and behavioral changes in the last couple of weeks, so excuse me if I'm weepy from time to time. I sipped one beer over a 4-hour time period last night, and it felt good to just enjoy it and not have 5 or so like I might have before. I read some interesting comments from a Berkeley parents group, asking about French and Italian pregnant women, where wine is so much part of the dining culture.

Don't beat yourself up -- I know we all do it though! Of course you are worthy of a child. Look how much you truly want this, and the emotional and physical steps you are taking to prepare yourself. Better than I did!

My own thoughts on the disease theory -- I am not sure I really buy it. I do think there are neurological patterns that exacerbate our problems. I wish I could experience the "brain changes" that people are undergoing thru the Topa and supplements; maybe then I might understand differently. The term dis-ease really resonates with me though.

I should probably register as a "real" user, so that email communication is easier. I don't wish to offend others on the board. But I since I'm not following the program (other than the philosophy behind it), I don't know if I should. I do look forward to everyone's posts and checking back here several times a day. I also appreciate the many other women on this site and their feelings about drinking, children and pregnancy. (I have been a stepmom for almost 12 years, so at least the parenting thing will not be new.)

Sorry to go on so long. Stay in touch. You're OK.

CS

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: Pregnancy book for you

CS,
As a woman who experienced infertility, I was together with my husband for 20 years before I gave birth, and to this day I still dont know how I managed to get pregnant. I was almost 37. I want to recommend a book "Expecting Change - The emotional journey through pregnancy" by Ellen Sue Stern.
It has nothing to do with drinking, its not a medical book, its purely from the emotional standpoint. All your life you have been one way, in my case we were told not to expect children and had built a completely different life then BAM !! I was completely unprepared because I had stopped wanting it so many years before. This book really, really helped. Some of the chapters are "You're pregnant, but Why", "Coping"
I think you will find it helpful too.

Now of course I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are still times when I can't believe I'm someone's mother. Its scary stuff :eek

[Guest]

pregnant

HEY TO CS

Hey CS,

Please register as a "Real" user--it doesn't matter if you're not doing the program completely or anything. You're just as real as any of us! Then you and Onoclea can e-mail privately all you want and enjoy other benefits, too. You are part of our group. Let yourself be so. It doesn't matter whether you follow things to the letter or not. We're not AA. This is "YOUR WAY OUT". We're here for you! Take care, sweetie!

Hugs,
Kathy

[Guest]

pregnant

Hey Onoclea

Hey Onoclea!

I read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I can hear your longing for a baby so clearly. I had infertility problems, very bad endometriosis, and my daughter is an invitro fertilization baby. I don't want to get overly personal on a public forum, but now that I know how to use the ezpost e-mail, if you want to e-mail me, I'd be happy to talk with you more about your worries if you want to. I'm NOT saying that you are infertile or anything, I just am more than familiar with all the worries about getting pregnant and having a normal baby and all that stuff. At any rate, write if you feel like it. Okay. If I've taken a liberty, please forgive me. I can just feel your pain. I remember a point when I wasn't sure I would ever have a child of my own and how that felt, so I felt compelled to reach out. LOL!

Kathy

[Guest]

pregnant

Hi CS,

I'm sorry you felt judged by Dr. Garcia's post; that's an awful feeling.I could be wrong, but I believe she is located in Alaska, in which case I would imagine she has a substantial Eskimo/Native American practice, which has a tragically high incidence of FAS. Understandably, Dr. Garcia has strong feelings on the subject. The person who asked the question indicated that she has been unable to get her drinking under control sufficiently such that she feels she needs Topamax, so when you think about it that's pretty shaky ground on which to begin a pregnancy. Also, a few months ago a poster wrote something to the effect that "all good alcoholic women quit drinking while pregnant". Obviously if that were true, there wouldn't be about 12,000 babies born with FAS every year. But the main concern, as you probably know from your searches, is with binge drinking and so an occasional glass of wine is not something I would be too concerned about. I did a paper on FAS when I was going for my certification in substance abuse rehabilitation counseling, so if you have more specific question feel free to ask, or email. Hang in there and you'll be fine! We had a guy come to lay a new floor in the upstairs bathroom - he measured wrong, and CUT THROUGH the main water pipe with a chain saw --Niagara Falls in the downstairs kitchen! Ceiling is now completely torn down, walls and cabinets ruined, the company doesn't want to pay so now we have to sue...what a disaster. But what can you do?

Onoclea - things will work out, and you will be in a really good place, physically and emotionally and spiritually, when they do. At the age of 28, after removal of most of my ovaries and HUGE endometrial cysts, I was told it was unlikely I would ever have children. At the age of 35 I had twins! And I got pregnant while I was on the birth control pill! So use this time to prepare yourself, you sound like a wonderful woman who has lots of love to give a little one.

Kate