pregnant

[Guest]

pregnant

Hey Kate,

You and I have a few things in common with those old endometrial cysts....yucko!

Kathy

[Guest]

pregnant

I was told at the age of 24 that I had an ovarian tumor and that I would need a total hysterectomy. I refused to sign the papers to give them permission and they took the tumor out. Left me with a little piece of right ovary, but no left ovary (they said my fallopian tube was just flopping around - don't know what happened to the ovary : . That was 15 years and 3 kids ago......

CS - It must be really hard for you to keep thinking all these awful thoughts about the damage you might have done to your body and baby with alcohol. It sounds to me like you are on the right track. I think sipping a beer over a 4-hour period would actually be sorta good for you both - relaxing, etc. It's not like you're slamming down beers. But that's just me. I know a lot of people have strong opinions on the subject. I'm a moderation kind of person, which is what I am trying to accomplish with drinking. I would be honest with your OB though, in case there are any tests or specific things he/she can look out for. Hang in there! Everything will be fine, I'm sure.

Onoclea - I have been thinking about you and your quest for pregnancy! I hope tonight things go well. Don't get up for thirty minutes after. Does your husband wear boxers? (Sorry if this is too personal guys - just thought I'd give some words of wisdom with what worked for us

Happy Friday, everyone!!!

Jane.

[Guest]

pregnant

testing registration

Hi Kathy and everyone,
Thanks for your encouragement to register as a 'real' member. Hope it works. I'll post a longer reply tomorrow -- I'm exhausted!

CS

[Guest]

pregnant

thanks thanks thanks

thanks to all of you beautiful women who have been supporting me through these times (and any men reading along having supportive thoughts!). thanks thanks thanks! i need to rush off right now, so i'll simply say that i appreciate so very much the support and love and encouragement you've all given me. CS, i do trust you're doing just fine, and as always i'm looking forward to your posts, and those of others too.

kathy, and any others who'd like to, i'd love to do the email thing. any tips on how to pursue that? i'll try to figure it out, but in the meantime, if there's a secret, do tell. my email moniker is pretty much my whole name which i'm not comfy putting somewhere even only semi-public. (i'll endeavor to get another email that's more private.) thanks for the offer, as would love to email!

and (who asked me this?), my hubby is a martial artist, so he wears tight undies when he trains (several hours/wk). but since it is winter, he is in longjohns during the day, and most of the rest of the time. if i'm not preggers by spring, i'll see what i can do about his undergarments. i know why you're asking. thanks!

you're all wonderful!
onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: thanks thanks thanks

Hey Onoclea,

We can do the e-mail thing right here on this board on this site with your onoclea name. I just figured out how to do it the other day, thanks to Nina. I can appreciate your not wanting to give out your regular e-mail address. The way to do it is on the main discussion board page. I was surprised to find I had several e-mails when I finally figured it out. I'm glad you feel supported here! My ex switched to boxers for a while when we were trying to get pregnant. I'm having a fun time imagining your hubby in his long johns! Write more when you have the time and/or figure out the e-mail on the site! Take care! LOL!

Kathy

[Guest]

pregnant

emailing

kathy,
i couldn't figure out the email thing. i poured over the main discussion board to no avail. help! another few clues, please! thanks.
onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

Ezmail

Onoclea,
Click on Kathy's name in red just to the left of her message. That will bring you to her profile. Then click on send me a message and you can send a message to her in box.

Marcie

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: emailing

Hi onoclea,

To the left of the posts are people's usernames. If you click on someone's, it will bring on their profile. On that will be a list of things including "Send me a message!" Click that, and it will bring up an email form. Write the email, click send, and it will go into their ezboard email. That's why you have to be a registered user (name appears in red) as opposed to unregistered (name appears in black) to use the email feature. When you go to main page of MWO discussion board, on the upper right hand side in red letters it will tell you if you have any new messages in your inbox.
Hope this makes sense! (Check your inbox)

Kate

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: emailing

Onoclea,
I'd be happy to email as well. I am now registered as CS04. Hope we can figure it out. I am on my way to have lunch with some girlfriends who I don't plan to "tell" because we aren't telling anyone yet. This could be hard. I am also miserable because my allergies are making me a sneezy mess and my dr told me not to take my usual medicine. Yuck.

Happy Sunday.CS

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: emailing

CS,
Use the allergies as an excuse to not drink. Tell your friends you don't want to drink because the alcohol will affect your allergies.

Marcie

[Guest]

pregnant

"telling"

Marcie,
Sorry if I was unclear. The "telling my friends" that I was referring to was about being pregnant, not about drinking! My husband and I want to keep it private till the test is done/end of 1st trimester. I wasn't trying to be a woman of so many secrets

CS

[Guest]

pregnant

pregnancy & breast feeding

I was married for about ten years and tried to get pregnant for about the last five years. Nothing happened.

In the last year when we were splitting up (and I was drinking very heavily) I fell pregnant. I did not realise for some weeks - I was literally 'off the planet'.

When I told my husband he was not interested. I went to get an abortion of course.. a telephone drug & alcohol counsellor told me I had to abort because I would obviously have a brain damaged child. (I think I had something like 20 drinks one or two nights in the early few weeks before I realized I was pregnant.)

I was completely crushed by grief, loss & self-blame.

Fortunately there was counselling as part of the pre-abortion process. The counsellor herself had lived through a similar situation and persuaded me it would be OK. I managed the rest of the pregnancy on 2 drinks a day.

When my baby was 3 months old my husband dumped me. I was in extreme distress again. I had a German friend who conviced me if I drank 4 glasses of stout a day that it would be good for me and the baby. I breast fed my baby until she was 2 and followed that advice daily.

My daughter is now 12 (just started highschool today) and has always been top of her class.

I have had two more children since then, now aged 7 & 5. All my children are healthy and happy and I drank 2 - 4 glasses of stout right through the last 12 years. I also ate very large hearty meals & got plenty of exercise (walking about 2 hours a day).

I have since learned that stout 'facilitates the uptake of iron' and it used to be prescribed on the English National Health to Invalids and War Veterans.

Now my story is a bit extreme. I was under rediculous stresses during all my pregnancies.. and 4 drinks a day is probably too manyby anyone's measure (I think that is probably weight related too)..

However I think that for someone who is under stress and pregnant or breast feeding, my German friend had a good piece of advice: In Germany it is recognised that the most important thing for a pregnant or breastfeeding mother is to be happy and relaxed. It makes good milk.

A little bit of alcohol is OK. and certainly there is a lot of hysteria these days. Far too many young mothers are encouraged to either abstain or abort. Sometimes it's just not possible, so it helped me to have something to hold onto.

I really think you should do your math and figure out how much and how often you drink/drank and calculate that against weight. Don't just take the advice of one person... do the research and make healthy choices for yourself and your baby. Beware of abusive relationships especially.

Also, KEEP EXERCISING!!! because it brings your energy levels up.. it helps process stress (= adrenaline = poison) and move it out of your body to bring in natural endorphines + seratonin (= happiness). By the time you sit down to have a drink you will need much less. One drink will feel like five.

If my little story shocks you, I'm sorry.
I just want people to find a way through the fear-state that pregnancy & breastfeeding was for me.

(Hey I bet I get shot down in flames for daring to say these things. Holding onto my hat.)

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: pregnancy & breast feeding

Hey Martian,

Good for you! Not kidding, either! I think we should be careful with our health while pregnant, but I sometimes get aggravated with the aggressive, self-righteous healthiness we are demanded to embrace at times. It is important to be relaxed during pregnancy. I drank a bit during pregnancy (1/2 drinks/week), but I smoked (5/10 cigs/day) and people looked at me like I was an ax-murderer. I also have a 16-year-old beautiful daughter, who is sharp as a tack, love her so much, although definitely a drama queen. It wasn't great that I smoked, for sure, but there's a lot worse that I could have been doing, too! So anyway, I'm not shooting you down! My mom smoked through 4 pregnancies and none of us were lacking in intelligence or had two heads or what not!

Glad you're on the boards!

Kathy

[Guest]

pregnant

great story

hey martian!
thanks much for piping in! how encouraging. i am planning to abstain during pregnancy -when i do get that blessing- but it's good to hear that all kinds of circumstances can still produce healthy children. congrats to you. your story helps assuage the guilt.

when i think of my weight (150) and my ethnic background (english mostly - HA) and my father's ability to drink, i think the amounts i'm consuming in my binges are still too much but not huge. yes, that helps with the guilt. but i must really get to a place where i'm comfortable with my habits, which i'm not currently, and that's the point.

thanks all also for your help with emailing.

thanks again for your message. i hope you'll post again.
onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

pregnancy & breast feeding

Hi Kathy, Hi Onoclea,
Thank you so much for not ripping my head off.
I had such a lot of pressure during those times it was really very scary. I pretty much prayed ten times a day that my babies would be OK and that I would just get through it.

I had some attempts at abstinence before pregnancy and had experienced the 'rubber band' effect - ie: binging after periods of abstinence.

I was very frightened that if I tried to stop during pregnancy I would binge and really do some damage. Everyone must make their own choices around this. My rationale was that if I could just stick to the same amount each day it would be safer than risking a binge.

Have to admit though it got harder with each pregnancy to stick to my limit.

I would recommend to anyone who is not pregnant to definitely try to conquer their problem first.. otherwise you will have to get through the pregnancy with a lot of fear and guilt about the risks you are taking.

Also, it was just a way of surviving really hard times without support. The problem did not go away and I am having to deal with it now. I have just discovered this website - I am a beginner and am so grateful to have found you all.