pregnant

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: hi all!

hey mamacitas, pregnant and otherwise!

sylvia, i am sorry to hear about the pressures you're getting. tell those folks to chill! i mean it! that's so unfair. you are NOT old; nowadays it's TYPICAL (certainly in my millieu, and not uncommon in others) for women to wait till 35 and up to start a family. i work in a school where many, many women started that late. NO PROBLEM! my cousins were 38- 40 when they gave birth. i'm 36 and pregnant for the first time and planning on a second not long after the first, but i will be even closer to 40. oh my! phu-leeze! just keep working on your stuff, focus on you, yeah, bring yourself to a better place than you have been in a while, and you'll be fine. you know, waiting to have children until you're "older" is so psychologically and emotionally healthy. you get to focus on yourself and develop as an individual before you start pouring all of your energy into another being. women who have children in their 30's have so much to offer their children! so much life experience, so much understanding. i really feel incensed that anyone would be harassing you about something that is so very personal and also collossal. i don't mean to overreact, and i know they are your family, so i'm sorry for any unintended disrespect. (but JEEZZZZZZZZZ!) okay, you get my drift. sylvia, you're young, you have loads of time. heal yourself, love yourself, the soul that's meant to come through you is on its way. trust. like mfm said, she got pregnant once she had forgotten about it. (i know, it's impossible to relax/forget on command.) there's no reason to worry. it takes easily up to a year to get pregnant, especially once you're out of your early 20's or so. enjoy the process. trust. trust, trust.

okay, enough advice. just know we're thinkin' of you, and you'll be just fine.

CS - glad you checked in. big cyber hugs.

on my end, i'm being very good (for me) at keeping the pregnancy under wraps. only a select few (okay, several) know, and it'll stay that way for a bunch more weeks, until the foetus is good and secure in there.

well, i'd better run and do our funky version of report cards. blessings to all.
onoclea

[Guest]

pregnant

getting pregnant

I even felt a little guilty for getting pregnant without even trying -- when so many women in their 30s (and older) have so much trouble. "Heck, she didn't even know if she wanted a baby; that's not fair!" I know that's riduculous thinking. I do believe everything happens for a reason, though. We don't always get to pick when is the "right" time.

When I mentioned to my stepmother that we had been hoping for a girl, she said "so then have another baby!" My younger sister just had her first, too, at age 37.

Sylvia -- sorry to hear about your test. But maybe you're right that in the next several months might be better. Onoclea -- keep hanging in there and get plenty of rest. I am not as tired as I was 1st trimester, except for this week -- I think I am mentally worn out from work.

Take care,
CS

p.s. btw, I think it was Jane who suggested a book awhile back: Expecting Change by Ellen Sue Stern, which discusses the emotional side of pregnancy. Thanks, Jane, for the tip -- I got it from the library. The book is a bit dated (20 years old) but still very helpful, and refreshing to know how far our attitudes have come with regard to pregnant women.

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: getting pregnant

Hey all you gorgeous expectant ones!
CS & Onoclea.. so sorry to have been out of touch..
I've been a bit busy.. but am wondering how things are going.. also, there are other newbies wanting to talk about being pregnant??
So! thought I'd bump this topic up a bit for now.
Might be a few more talking.. and when you find the time to check in .. any helpful thoughts?
Lotsa Love,
Thinking of You,
MFM

[Guest]

pregnant

Re: getting pregnant

Hello MFM and everyone,

I haven't posted in awhile, but have been checking in once or twice a week. I am almost 5 months along, and most of the time not drinking is no big deal. But social occasions are tricky. It's not that I don't have an "out" (that's obvious), it's just that I still want it. I will say that I have not had more than 2 glasses of wine at one sitting (although yesterday at Easter I had maybe half a glass more than that, over the course of the afternoon). A friend put it very well -- she said that feeling buzzed and feeling pregnant were two sensations that just didn't go very well together. I guess what concerns me are the breaking of habits, or the reasons why I want to drink in the first place. I have been feeling more stressed lately, too, than I did in the beginning of my pregnancy. Worried about money, what needs to be done before the baby comes, still trying to work 4 jobs, business decisions that I am totally avoiding. Typical stressors for most of us. I used to think that I was drinking to avoid these issues, but that's not all of it, so now I am not sure what to think.

Anyhow, I did see some other newbie questions about getting pregnant. I have not seen any posts from Onoclea either, so Onoclea if you are lurking, I hope that all is well with you and baby.

Thanks for your good thoughts!

CS

[Guest]

pregnant

Are you all still out there? I really hope so!! Onclea and CS04, how are you coming along with your pregnancies? I am now ten weeks pregnant myself!

It actually came as quite a surprise since we had decided to stop trying for a period of time. Anyway, I was not surprised when my period was late, as it is quite often irregular. I took three pregnancy tests, all of which came out negative. I?m afraid you can maybe see where I?m going with this - that alcohol plays a role in this story, and that?s what has me terrified. I had been drinking quite a lot (about six to eight beers per day), and I was really not at all alarmed at the late period because we had not been "trying," you know, timing and all that. So I really didn?t think there was any way I was pregnant. Anyway. I finally got a positive test at five weeks pregnant (three weeks after conception). I stopped drinking immediately and have not had a drop for 38 days, nor will I. However, I?m so afraid that I hurt my baby and that he or she will have fetal alcohol syndrome because of what I did. Reading this post over did make me feel quite a bit better, but I was drinking for some time after conceiving ? possibly 22 days.

I can?t talk to my husband about it, because he doesn?t know how much I was drinking. I am very happy for this pregnancy, and just want to give my baby the best start in life. Do you think we will be OK?

On a more positive note, I never would have thought I could go 38 days without drinking and not go crazy. But I have, and it actually feels really good. I have to take things one day at a time (not to use AA speak, but its true) and not think too far ahead, because it does kind of bother me that its summer time and all these lovely outdoor cocktail parties, and I still can?t be that jovial, outgoing girl without my safety blanket of alcohol in my hand. So I can?t think about that, and I?ve just been laying sort of low lately and not socializing as much, and I have to accept that maybe I?m not the fun-loving party gal that I thought I was. That was the alcohol, and it turned on me. I look back now and see how I wasn?t that person at the end anyway. I was concerned only about drinking more and more, until I became morose and unpredictable. Now it is nice to wake up in the morning without that guilt, shame and fear that I used to always feel. Not every day is great, but at least I remember it. Still though, I won?t lie. I would LOVE a nice, cold beer. And I don?t think that one would hurt the baby, I?m just not sure I trust myself yet to stick with just one, so I think I?ll wait on that.

Now I?m just praying that my child does not have to pay for my early mistakes.

I hope to hear that everyone is doing well, thanks.

[Guest]

pregnant

Hi Sylvia,

Hey it's been a darn long time since I've been pregnant, but reading your post really struck a chord in me, and I wanted to respond.

Please don't worry too much about your baby! I think you have stopped drinking in plenty of time. It is more important that you try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy now. You have read the previous posts, and I know they are reassuring! I think that you are doing just beautifully at 38 days of ABs!

If you want to stay abstinent for your pregnancy and don't think I am being impertinent, I would like to suggest that you check out the July Abstinence event "Fly Into July". Just scroll a little further past General Discussion and Just Starting Out. You will find all kinds of great support and suggestions for taking care of yourself and your baby, as well as encouragement when you falter or feel insecure!

Anyway, I hope this helps, and I have every confidence that things will likely be okay!

Take care and best wishes!
Kathy