Hi everyone,
OK, today doesn't technically count as an AF day, because I did have a drink early this morning.....however, in my mind, this is a breakthrough because this is the first Sunday in a long time that I have been sober all day. (After I had the drink this a.m., I slept for 3 hours). I took my first Campral around noon. You're supposed to take 2 pills, 3 times a day, but the nurse who prescribed it for me suggested I start at 1 pill 3 times a day so it won't be such a shock to my system (??). Maybe this will help me avoid the gas, etc that others have reported when using Campral.
Anyway, I'm not sure if it's my imagination.....I can't possibly be feeling the effects of the drug yet, right? But today was not hard for me. For the first time in a few years, when I thought, hmm, I should go return those candles at Pier 1, I automatically did a sobriety self-check--as in, asked myself, wait, I shouldn't drive for a few hours--then realized, there's no need!!! Know what I mean? So I drove to CVS (L'oreal lip and eye products are BOGO!!), then went to Pier 1 and exchanged a candle, and then bought a really cool piece of wall art for half off. Then went home, walked the dogs, and am now comfortably curled up on my sofa with both of them asleep on my feet.
It's almost 6 pm. I can't believe I've made it through the day. Like I said, I almost wonder if I'm fooling myself, if my ability to not drink is psychological only and not a result of the meds. Regardless of the reason, I am GRATEFUL that I got through today. I am grateful, and in SHOCK. I just can't believe it. I can't believe it wasn't harder (knock on wood....!!!!). I hope it doesn't GET harder. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now I am so excited and almost downright GIDDY to be sober right now. For the past two years or so, my weekends have consisted of drink, sleep, drink, sleep, drink.....a horrible quality of life. I didn't do anything major today....didn't do anything fun, didn't visit friends, didn't do anything super productive....but I'm ok with that. That will come with time. For today, I'm so, so happy that I made it through and learned that I CAN DO THIS.
Of course, we'll see how I feel when I'm trying to go to sleep. That's when I really hit a snag last time. Wish me luck!
Thanks for listening everyone.....
--Jess
OK, today doesn't technically count as an AF day, because I did have a drink early this morning.....however, in my mind, this is a breakthrough because this is the first Sunday in a long time that I have been sober all day. (After I had the drink this a.m., I slept for 3 hours). I took my first Campral around noon. You're supposed to take 2 pills, 3 times a day, but the nurse who prescribed it for me suggested I start at 1 pill 3 times a day so it won't be such a shock to my system (??). Maybe this will help me avoid the gas, etc that others have reported when using Campral.
Anyway, I'm not sure if it's my imagination.....I can't possibly be feeling the effects of the drug yet, right? But today was not hard for me. For the first time in a few years, when I thought, hmm, I should go return those candles at Pier 1, I automatically did a sobriety self-check--as in, asked myself, wait, I shouldn't drive for a few hours--then realized, there's no need!!! Know what I mean? So I drove to CVS (L'oreal lip and eye products are BOGO!!), then went to Pier 1 and exchanged a candle, and then bought a really cool piece of wall art for half off. Then went home, walked the dogs, and am now comfortably curled up on my sofa with both of them asleep on my feet.
It's almost 6 pm. I can't believe I've made it through the day. Like I said, I almost wonder if I'm fooling myself, if my ability to not drink is psychological only and not a result of the meds. Regardless of the reason, I am GRATEFUL that I got through today. I am grateful, and in SHOCK. I just can't believe it. I can't believe it wasn't harder (knock on wood....!!!!). I hope it doesn't GET harder. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now I am so excited and almost downright GIDDY to be sober right now. For the past two years or so, my weekends have consisted of drink, sleep, drink, sleep, drink.....a horrible quality of life. I didn't do anything major today....didn't do anything fun, didn't visit friends, didn't do anything super productive....but I'm ok with that. That will come with time. For today, I'm so, so happy that I made it through and learned that I CAN DO THIS.
Of course, we'll see how I feel when I'm trying to go to sleep. That's when I really hit a snag last time. Wish me luck!
Thanks for listening everyone.....
--Jess
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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