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    I'm so mad at myself

    Hi Everyone,

    This is my first post. I have found this website because I am desperately seeking help for my binge drinking problem. I cant talk to anyone else in my world about this as they would never understand. The catalyst from my searching was Saturday night when, at a family BBQ I drank 2 bottles of wine, a shot and proceeded to skull glasses of bourbon and rum with coke. I dont remember anything after the wine. I have been drinking for a long time and this was the very first time that I woke up and could not remember. My boyfriend told me that I demanded drinks, fell over in front of everyone before passing out and having to be carried to the car. Once in the car I proceeded to vomit all over my car and later at my house in bed. My boyfriend had to drag and carry me and my whole body is aching from falling constantly as my boyfriend tried to take me to bed. And I cant remember a god damn thing.

    I don't want to be like this anymore. Whilst I have stopped drinking frequently these days, when i do start I just cant stop. How can I control something that I may not remember the next day? I'm so dissapointed and scared. I dont have time for rehab as I have a job with a lot of responsibility and cant take time off.

    I have read some posts and I do feel some comfort in knowing that I am not the only one who goes through this. And this gives me hope...

    #2
    I'm so mad at myself

    A huge welcome to you maybesomday, you have made that someday TODAY, well done for you post that really is the biggest step, you are here now so read, read, read, join in, post and learn from others. This is the place you can be totally you, just yourself, you can ask anything and always someone will answer your call. We are truly a global friendship ring and this site has literally saved my life. Welcome to you.

    Lx
    Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

    Comment


      #3
      I'm so mad at myself

      Thank you Tea. I have been reading the posts and already feel a lot less hopeless than I did earlier. Its a great thing to read that others have taken control of their lives and I need to do the same.

      Comment


        #4
        I'm so mad at myself

        hi Maybesomeday :welcome: aboard you are at the right place here you will get help and support. The people here are great...been here since last october and i have cut down a lot of my drinking got more AF days by the help of mwo people. Take one day at a time and you will get there.

        All the best of luck.x

        Love
        Teardrop.x
        family is everything to me

        Comment


          #5
          I'm so mad at myself

          :welcome:Maybesomeday,
          Seems fun at the time, huh? But it's really not worth it. I have also thought about rehab, but there are alot of excuses not to do that. I found the MWO book when I was looking for help to stop smoking. After I read the book, I was directed to this site. My advice is to read the book (I've read here you can download it) start the program, and you will begin to feel differently about the way you drink. Keep coming here too! Good luck!
          _______________
          NF since June 1, 2008
          AF since September 28, 2008
          DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
          _____________
          :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
          5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
          _______________
          The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

          Comment


            #6
            I'm so mad at myself

            (((Maybesomeday))))

            Been there done that. It's horribly embarrasing isn't it? This too shall pass, especially if you attend social events and either don't drink or drink only one or two. This place is a Godsend, not just for the support but the understanding you cannot get from people who have never "been there" Welcome. :welcome:

            Comment


              #7
              I'm so mad at myself

              Hi Maybe and:welcome:,

              You have taken the first step by joining MWO, Each small step adds up and before long you will notice that your steps have taken you a long way!
              Look forward to seeing you around, Good luck

              Eastx
              In life we can live out our dreams its true
              the one who decides,takes chances,makes choices is YOU.

              Comment


                #8
                I'm so mad at myself

                First Steps

                Welcome maybesomeday - big step just posting today! Step by step we make the choice to stop the madness of drinking - and we gain strength and resolve with each step. May this be a first of many important steps for you!

                Big welcome to you
                Liv
                AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                (from the Movie "Once")

                Comment


                  #9
                  I'm so mad at myself

                  Maybesomeday, Welcome! I think today is the day that you are beginning to figure this out! First of all, put the BBQ behind you. It is the past. Reflect on it only in regards to moving forward.

                  Yes, I agree, download or buy the book MWO. This book is the roadmap to how this program works, whether you want to MOD or become a non-drinker. It gives you the information and research so that you can decide how to implement those parts of the program that will work for you. When you have questions you can simply log on here and receive support and input from other memebers.

                  I hope you stay around and hope to hear more from you!

                  Best Wishes,
                  KateH
                  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                  AF 12/6/2007

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm so mad at myself

                    oh, sweetie - I am so glad you found this site. please stay with us. get the book, read the book. there are a ton of tools to help you here. And my favorite part is that you don't have to confess to anyone but us. Here are some of my rules that I have been living by since I started using this site to get better:

                    1. Talking to perfect strangers all day long, telling them things you cannot even tell your own relatives and friends who love and adore you and make time for you each day is a perfectly rationale thing to do. It is a healthy way for you to recover in the privacy of your own world.
                    2. Setting new goals and then breaking them over and over again is a sign of tenacity and strength. It takes a lot of guts to keep getting up after falling down. The point is to keep getting up.
                    3. It is ok to order your stuff over the internet. You don't have to have the guts to go to the drugstore or the doctor. Shame is a feeling that goes along with this whole thing. If I was proud of this issue I would be at the bar right now.

                    Stay with us. Go on chat, keep posting. You can get better.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I'm so mad at myself

                      Welcome Maybesomeday......you have come to the right place. You can say *anything* here!
                      Noelle sez "Do want you like, like what you do. Life is Good."

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm so mad at myself

                        hey!

                        Welcome Maybesomeday!! This is an awesome place, just read and post, read the book if you can and you will succeed.....................you have already made a start!!!

                        Welcome,

                        MA:welcome:
                        :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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