Feeling alone

[keeta]

Hey all, I have to type this before my husband gets home...cause then I put on my happy life face...BUT...I am sad...I think I Maybe shouldn't post this..., maybe I shouldn't feel so down...I am in a rut and have been for atleast six months...my house is a shit hole mess...I work every day to catch up on laundry and cleaning....I feel like I can't do it...like somebody stronger should be in my shoes...but I want it better...but I am apparently not capable...my kids deserve better...fuck my husband who says I am the worst...can I send him your way??? I will be scrubbing toilets.

[KateH1]

Feeling alone

Hi Keeta,

Sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time. Could you be depressed? You know, just this week I heard Dr. Oz say that many people suffering from mild to moderate depression could be helped by taking Omega fatty acids daily. So, I started them again! Are you still drinkng?

How about getting everyone in your family involved in a weekend "Clean up", everyone can pitch in and then you can have a Pizza Party!!

Hope you feel better soon!

xx Kate

[FallenAngel]

Feeling alone

Hi Keeta...
Is it the grind of everyday life that's getting to you (same shit, different day syndrome)... drinking... or is it something else??

[bald headed old guy]

Feeling alone

Keeta,
Passing you some strength, and hoping you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know when I quit drinking, I had a period of deepression..have you stopped drinking? could this be it? Do you have a dr you can talk to about the depression?
I'll be thinking aobut you, and praying for you to find the ability to work through this.
Hugs
BHOG

[keeta]

Feeling alone

Hi Kate,
I am on anti depressents, but that is another story...I want off them..I Do take all my supps and yes, I am still drinking.

I need help so bad...I am so tired of holding IT all together...the problem is the *IT* is all my fault..we need to controll my escapades...i am out of control...
Kim

[dexterhead]

Feeling alone

OH Keeta Keeta, I am so sorry. you sound like you are just buried. can you talk to hubby?? Nothing is "all your fault" -- marriage and family is team effort. like Kate said, can you get people to pitch in. are you seeing a therapist? talking to someone and getting some perspective would really help. thinking of you my friend and the kitty dances for you:h:h

[ZenMetal]

Feeling alone

Keeta,

Sending good thoughts your way. Go easy on yourself.

Wishing you peace & strength,

ZM

[elsie17]

Feeling alone

Keeta, so sorry you feel alone in your own space

[Aysha]

Feeling alone

Hi Keeta
I know where you are, been there. But things can / will get better. I have yet to have my first totally AF day, but last week felt how you sound. Being a solo mum with'no-one' to lean on and not wanting to admit my problems to friends it can be very isolating. I made the decision on Sunday (after waking up with very little memory of Sat night) that I needed to make a serious change. Although one of my goals is to be AF I have tried to give up many many times before and failed. So instead I have set myself another goal - I want to do a half marathon. I have gone round and told everyone this goal and asked for help to achieve it. Amazingly in just a few days I now have an exercise buddy who wants to start walking / running with me a couple of times a week, another wants me to join her kickbox class, and another wants to go cycling with me once a week.

I figure with all these activities (especially having to turn up in the evening and be able to keep up with them) will help keep me from drinking. I would be too ashamed to turn up drunk, or under the influence, and with the goal 6 months ago feel confident that by the time I get there I will be AF. It also gets me out of the house and doing something for myself. Although early days I feel my mood has lifted considerably, I feel more positive already. Hope that helps.

[My New Beginning]

Feeling alone

Keeta
Postive thoughts are being sent to you. I am sorry you are having such a tough time but know that people here will support you. We are on your side! :hug:

[stayingsober1dayatatime]

Feeling alone

Keeta I will remember you in my prayers tonight.
Love,
John S.


A quote I saw the other day, Woman need a man like a fish needs a bycycle. Gloria Steinham. Hope that makes you girls smile

[Finding My Self]

Feeling alone

Keeta - I am just sending you good thoughts and anything other than scrubbing toilets... Go dream about somewhere lovely....you don't need to feel resentful about not really being there as that'll pull you down, But your mind will do good things to you (endorphins etc) even through imaginings - (don't think of a lemon and what happens sort of thing..you start salivating that is!)

Hang in there Keeta - there is life beyond housework and the bottle....and you'll find it.

Love
FMS xx

[Thankful]

Feeling alone

Keeta, you are on anti-depressents and your husband still verbally abuses you? This needs to be dealt with. You really need to sit him down and have a heart to heart. I'm sure he is very frustrated with the situation and he has every right to be. But he can't possibly think he is helping you. I think this issue needs to be addressed asap.

Ask you Dr about taking the Omega 3 Fish oil as already mentioned. I am living proof that it can help with depression. Please consider looking into it, especially if you want to get off the Anti-Ds. Also, Anti-Ds are very hard to regulate. Maybe you need the dose changed or a different med all together.

And yes, hun, I know you know this....but the drinking is not going to help you. It's time to make a firm commitment to get your life back. It's the first step to your happiness. This isn't something to think about. You must get yourself out of this rut. You can wake up tomorrow with hope or you can have another day just like you've been having.

You are in my thoughts and prayer, Keeta. Please take care of yourself. If you don't take the steps for your health and happiness, no one else will. Sending you as much love and support as virtually possible, my friend.

Love, Me
:l

[poohbear]

Feeling alone

Keeta can I just say that I completely understand where you are coming from?? I too feel like I need to hold it together when he comes home from work. I mean he really is a great guy (how could he not to put up with me?) but he is a non-drinker and just does not understand where I come from, so I hide it from him cause I just don't want to hear it. I have 3 children from my first marriage so I feel like I need to be the perfect mom to them to make up where their bio father failed. Just today when we both came home from WORK I told him if you want your work clothes washed then let me know so I can wash them for you. Ok can we say WHAT??? why is it my job to make sure he has clean work clothes?? It's not, so what I am saying is that we put so much pressure on ourselves that we escape in the only way we know how to - the drink. Also you feel like it's your fault? It's your escapes or your drinking that is causing the problems?? I am just guessing, but from my own experience my husband uses this as an excuse to project his own feelings back to me, like it's all MY fault that WE have problems. Do you understand where I am going with this?? Hun if you ever feel the need to talk pls pm me cause again I DO understand what you are going through even tho I cannot understand your feelings just because they are yours and yours alone.

My thoughts are with you tonight

much luv and hugs

Pbear

[steer64]

Feeling alone

Support

It's good to get feedback from people who have similar pasts.....you probably need to tell your doctor, see a therapist who can connect to you....it is like shopping at a store.....try them out one at a time, and if you don't feel comfortable, then get someone else.
Sounds like the honeymoon is over, family counseling is important. If you are having these feelings, then your kids will be feeling your pain....they need to be able to sort things out too.

Enough advice for now....good luck for tonight.....take one day at a time.....break your life into baby steps and go back to basics......