My current story

[sailor girl]

My current story

Thanks Noelle! I feel like I am sliding because I am allowing myself to drink until the Topa arrives. I feel like a serious addict because I am Rationalizing. But I keep telling myself this is the last time!!!!!!!!!!! I just hope that is true. I promise that when I get everything........I am SERIOUS!!!!!!

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

My current story

Hey Sailor-

The fear to stop drinking is natural~ the first day of being AF is really the hardest psychological battle. It's the alcohol that is messing up with your capability to make wise decisions.

If you were a little girl, and you put your hand on a hot stove and burnt yourself.... would you put your hand back on that stove? Not anytime soon, because you KNOW that stove = pain. nfire:
The power of alcohol on the brain is more subtle and more powerful. It's the addiction. Alcohol weaves into random thoughts, and wraps its way around your heart, until most decisions you make consider whether alcohol will be there, too....

.... I have to go to my son's 6th grade Orchestra concert tonight (his first one, and he is actually excited!).... this morning, I'm 300 miles away, but I've committed to him that I'll be there by 5 pm. And I will be. The "before" me from 6 months ago would have rationalized why this isn't really THAT important (yeah, it's his first, but there will be more).
..... "Gas prices are SO high that I should really work here late and stay overnight so that I don't have to come back for another 6 weeks" (The truth is I'll have to be here in 6 weeks anyway whether I stay overnight or not.... but you see, I'm staying at a hotel that has FREE HAPPY HOUR and hors d'oeurves in the evening!)
.... "My son will understand because I work so hard so that he can learn to play the cello" (Another lousy excuse- I just want to be away from home, with the freedom to get drunk..... and the reason he will understand is because he's used to being disappointed by me not being there. Pathetic.)

The chicken and the egg. Which comes first, the alcohol or you? :nutso:
Your logical brain says YOU. YOUR DAUGHTER. The power of alcohol says, "Of course you come first, Sailor Girl! Just after ME."

Don't let alcohol weaken your resolve. Do me a favor this evening, will you? If you must drink, tell yourself now how much you will allow yourself to have in the witching hour. And while you're sipping on that magic potion, CONSCIOUSLY ask yourself WHY is this flipping purple stuff more important than your daughter's perception of you? And when you reach the end of your allotment, listen to how selfish that purple voice is.... it will push you to finish that bottle. It will justify that you aren't REALLY an alcoholic, because if you were, you wouldn't be able to stop. You've stopped. You corked the bottle and put it away. Proof that you don't have a problem.... and then that purple voice will plead with you to just finish the damn bottle off, because it's not enough for tomorrow night anyway, and it's physical proof that you drank tonight.... if you drink it and throw the bottle out, only you and the garbage man will see the proof.

That is why you'll see posts here, like Universal's, called "Fuck you, AL!" :alf:

Be patient with yourself, Sailor. But PLEASE. Stay close by. Read. Don't give up on yourself. I won't give up on you, girl!

Much love,:heart:
Patty.

[LVT25]

My current story

Great post Patty. It is easy to rationalize isn't it? Won't it be great to see the pride in your son's face when you see his performance!

[sailor girl]

My current story

Thanks Patty!!! I didn't read this until today because I get lost in all the forums. I forget where I start threads and where I reply. Your post was extremely supportive. The rationalizing (why not, there isn't enough for tomorrow anyway).......is not just me huh? It is amazing to see that there are other people out there that have had the same crazy thoughts that I do. I haven't been pathetically drunk in a week but I know that it could happen at any given time. I am going to take your advice and will let you know when I am going Solo (without AL).
Cheryl

[auntiegriselda]

My current story

Hi Sailer Girl,

Much of what you've said, I could have written. It's a common story among those of us who can't stop at one and who can't even begin to stop.

I'm going AF again today and the first day is the hardest. And if you can stick it out for a couple more days you'll start to feel better. When I did it before, I realized I could remember things better, didn't have to worry about what I said the night before, or whether people at work noticed that stale alcohol smell.

I 'm starting back on the L-glutamine and a B vitamin and am going to find other things to do tonight besides sit around and drink. Maybe take the dog for a walk. Then will go to bed early and read, something I usually can't do because I can't stay awake!

Also coming on here, posting and reading helps too. I'm going to do this today.
The supplements help but so much is in our determination. I'm supporting you in however you decide to do it!!

Auntie.

[cmhguy3]

My current story

Hello sailor girl and all,


WOW! This post knocked my socks off! I am back at it and Patti's wise words got me thru my Bewitching Hour! She is a wise person and hit the nail on the head for me! I think we all could substitute ourselves in her words. We have all been there time and time again...Thanks for being so blunt and true! I am going to bed sober and will not have rasin breath in the morning! LOL!

Good Luck Sailor Girl!

[Palatia]

My current story

Welcome Sailor Girl,

I feel your pain.. I don't know how many times I woke up in weird places.. ended up in my kids room... god only knows...

My son (only one left at home) has wanted me to stop drinking for a long time... Tonight he said.. (I'm on Day 4).. "I'm proud of you Mom"... tears in my eyes...

I don't think he thought I could go even this long.. that's enough for me.. to keep going..

:welcome: