I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

[CS04]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

Hello Bouchard and everyone,
I have not been on here in a long time. Usually I sign on late at night, feeling guilty after drinking too much. I feel like I need to get on board with the program, but I am still nursing and afraid the supps and Topamax would not be safe. I also don't want to get the Topamax thru a dr., as I don't really have a primary physiciian right now.

I need to decide whether it's better for myself as a mother and for my son to continue nursing (he's 18 months old, so not critical at this point) or to move forward for myself.

Not to detract from Bouchard's and others' comments about the ambivalence, becasue I feel exactly the same way. The way we feel in the morning vs. the way we feel come 5:00. I am so tired of the guilt and the backtracking every morning.

Thanks and will try to post again later. Best to all.

CS04

[bouchard01]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

I Made It AF for Day One!

Through last night .... was hard but not too bad. I was so sleepy but then once in bed couldn't sleep ... tossed and turned. This morning woke up feeling like crap and still have a nagging headache, but I am proud of me. Dh just asked me if I wanted a wine, I said "No" and don't ask me again ... I did find my Cd's after searching this house like a mad woman. For abit I was thinking that my Born Again daughter might have found them and took them but no, not the case, they were just hiding. Right now is hard for me ... If I can get through supper and then have a tea and hot bath and maybe read something I will be ok ... Dh is drinking but I'm not ... I too feel disgusted when I look at all the wine bottles, knowing that I drank every single one of them by myself ... usually a bottle or bottle and 1/2 a day. I had hoped to feel better physically today but still feel like a hangover day. Thanks for all the support everyone and good luck to you all too. Stay strong. :h G

[optionsgirl]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

Good for you!!!

Glad to hear from you. Thats great news that you said no to the wine...hope you feel better soon
G

[bouchard01]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

Wondering about keeta? How are you? Thinking of you and hoping all is well.

[spottydingo]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

hi bouchard, glad you got through yesterday ... and today! keep it up!

[bouchard01]

I want to quit but I don't want to quit!?

Made it through Day Two!

How did everyone else do? Last night I had the most terrible itching skin, just about drove me nuts but I managed to let it go, had a bath and went to bed. Sleeping was not great ... lots of night sweats but I'm perimenopausal so that could be it too. Witching hour is soon approaching but I've listened to the tapes and have invited my daughter and family over for supper so should be able to get through Day 3 ... I hope all of you are doing well and that you check in and let me know how things are going. G