Thank God I found you!!!!!

[bald headed old guy]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Jinja,
:goodjob: on stay sober this long! By my count you should be on day 4? WOW! Way to go!
Yes, spouses can be a trigger, no doubt. Mine is all in favor of my being sober, she has put up with the drunk me for way too long. She is however, very supportive, and when we go out someplace she always asks before if it will bother me if she drinks. I really truely don't care, and have told her that, however, I am not drinking.
Jinja, I really believe this is something you have to do for you. Not for kids, spouse, whoever, but for you. No one ever forced me to drink, I always lifted those glasses of wine by myself, but now I need to force myself not to lift them.
It does get a lot easier, and your sleep patterns will get better. I sleep better now than I have done for years!
Please come back very often, let us know how you are doing. If you slip, ok, talk about it, maybe one of us can help you find out what the trigger was, so you can avoid it next time. This is a GREAT site, lots of support, as you have already found out. Plus, no lectures, no shame.
:welcome: I look forward to hearing more about your succces!
Enjoy Life!
BHOG

[Thankful]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Jinja,

I just wanted to say ~ welcome. I've been off the boards for a while so just trying to get caught up with all the new people who've joined this week.

You sound like you are on a roll. Do you have a set plan in place? Do you take the supps? ODAT will get you through.

Remember there is no justifible reason to drink. You deserve to be healthy and happy. And alcohol will not provide that for you. Ever. Stay strong!

Good luck! We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[Tigger1]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Hi Jinja, welcome ..... Well done on day one, hope day two, three, four, is good for you....

Nice to see someone from South Africa.... I lived in Benoni, not far from Jo'berg, in the early 80's.... How's things there now ?

Good luck... Look forward to reading your post.

[jinja]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Good morning peeps, was quite short tempered yesterday so I will endeavour to be less reactive and take a breath first!! I am trying to source the Kudzu here, but have only found one so far. I know I can do this without it, but sometimes the fight is quite exhausting. If there is something that helps, I'm happy to support myself. I remember when I stopped smoking (for 8 years during the baby making years - I'm back on the wicked weed & that will be my next project) when I got to the point of not thinking about it & being free of the smell and time it took up, it was such a break thro.

I will think hard on the triggers - the last 10 years have been a rollercoaster of emotion and stress - well who's life hasn't!?! The way I have adjusted to various changes/experiences needs to be assessed. As they say - this is where the journey starts to become real and hiding from yourself and life in a bottle is just a waste.

Talk again soon & thanks xxxxx:thanks:

[My New Beginning]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Yup! you're on Jinja!
Happy Monday!

[jinja]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Ooops!!!

Ooops!! That wasn't a good thing to do last night. Lots of excuses - hard day, friend dumped her kids on me in the afternoon, kids arguing about everything possible & fighting, late for swimming lesson, stuck in traffic w/ crying hungry children etc, etc.

Felt strong enough to moderate when I started - famous last words!!! Hubby's giving me the silent treatment........I can see in his face......"sooooo disappointed in you"............"wats wrong with you?"......................."wat exactly are you doing about it?"

Well for a start, TRYING not to drink - surely that's the main thing?

Anyway - I feel crap & annoyed with myself. :sigh:

AF day 1 - here we go again!!!

Take care
XXXX

[Bandit]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Hi Jinja,

Welcome!.
I only joined here recently too and had intended to go AF from Tuesday of last week. I only lasted two nights and drank lots of wine over the Easter weekend - again for many of the same excuses - my kids stressing me out etc. - they are on Easter break at the moment and I am finding it hard to keep them occupied. They are 5 and 3 and like your little one they are up at the crack of dawn so it can be a very long day by the time they go to bed!.

However, I am back hopeful today and ready to give it another go. My mission for today is to plan lots of activities for us to do over the next few days so that I am not sitting around the house thinking about how much I would love a bottle of wine. I have even already started planning things to do over the summer (8 weeks of free time!). I am having to be very inventive as living off one wage packet we don't have a lot to spend on stuff so my plan is to put what I would normally spend on booze into a piggy bank and use that on days out etc. I am hoping this will keep me motivated.

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck - you did really well staying AF for the few days and sounds like you will able to do it again. On a completely different note, I had a lovely holiday in Capetown/Johannesburg a few years back - my sister has been living in Pretoria now for a few years, before that in Zimbabwe but she is moving back to Ireland this summer - after over 20 years in Africa I think it will be very strange for her!

Best of luck,
Bandit

[hippie37]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Hi jinja!

At least you are learning what some of your 'trigger's are and that can only be a good thing. You just know have to find alternative methods of reducing the stress other than alcohol.

I've just got off the phone this morning with my ex who is screaming and ranting that I need to take my daughter for extra nights!!. She changes direction with the wind as not so long ago she didn't want me disrupting her routine. Now my daughter is off playgroup for 2 weeks she is struggling to adapt to having her with her 24/7 again. I'm not being spiteful in anyway but she knows, as I don't have my own place yet this is difficult for me to do. She is getting herself all stressed out and projecting it all on to me through trying to make me feel like I am not doing enough for my daughter. I simply won't allow her to do this and in the past would of been a 'trigger' for me. I probably would of had a shitty day with my daughter due to feeling inadequate as a father and probably headed straight to the pub after I had dropped her off the following day.

I posted a thread a while back which will help explain how I look at things differently now.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...hts-19955.html

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[jinja]

Thank God I found you!!!!!

Hi Tigger, we came to SA in '97 so can't compare w/how it was when u were here. Crime is very bad, as I'm sure you have heard. We have scheduled power cuts 3 times a week between 6-10pm. We are going into winter so it'll be interesting to see how that that turns out. No power = cold toes!! Construction is going crazy as they are trying to gear up for 2010 world cup. Nearly every day there's a new building going up!

Hi Bandit, I usually take an annual trip "to the homeland" in August. I love the UK at that time of year as everything is so lush and vibrant. So many different shades of green! Yeah, your sister will probably struggle with the sky - that's what always gets me. There is nothing like an African sky. Good luck with your future AF plans - and remember when the kids stress you "just breath".

Hi Hippy, thank you for being so open with your experiences, it really does help put things in perspective. You must be having a tough time with the emotional blackmail. The piece you attached is so true - I'm such a should/ought kind of girl (well, everything else too). You must have spent a long time getting your thoughts together ! I've lived with my head buried in the sand for so long, I'm not sure where to start.

Thank you everybody for your ideas and positive responses. It really means alot knowing you are all there. Must log off now & sleep.
Take care
XXX