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[uksaxplayer]

Hi all.

My wife has been an alcoholic for a while now and I now find myself in the same boat. We have attempted to "make it a better year" since Christmas but the reality is that we have gone even quicker on the self destruct buttons with weekends becoming longer and work suffering even more.

We love each other very much and have a great relationship, except for when we drink of course. I know we have to do something about it, hence why I am here. My wife says she does, but I am not certain if she will be able to as I am not certain the will is the same.

It is up to me, I guess, because if I can be sober then she, too, will become more sober as we will not be going out as much.

I do worry because I have proven that even with the will to stay AF at the beginning of the week it is most likely that we find ourselves in the pub for happy hour for "one or two" which of course lasts until closing time.

I do know that it will be easier with support so here I am.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life so here goes.

[ducky]

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Wecome Sax,

This is a great group of people. You will find a ton of support. And lots of similar stories.

Download the book if you have not. Keep reading and posting.

Go to chat if you need immediate support.

Best of luck.

[trixietrack]

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Welcomoe to the boards uksax. there are a lot of greeat things about coming here. People are very helpful and encouraging.
I wish you both luck in finding your way out.

the one thing I can suggest, is, nutrition is very important. taking supplements is important to keeping you from craving and going through mood swings etc.


Welcome

[AMELIA]

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Hello Uksaxplayer.
I am too in the Uk.
I am too in a relationship that has some what of a focus on alcohol.
I am originally from New Zealand. I did not feel that alcohol was a problem over there so much as I do here.
I would like to ask.....do you and your wife drink the same amount?? For example, at a weekend day,....lets say a Saturday. When you buy your Sat. night meal,...would you get a bottle of wine each?
How would you 'dish out' the alcohol?
I ask this because I am beginning to realise that because of the genetic makeup of woman (smaller body sizes etc), I have read that woman become addicted to alcohol much quicker than men.
It is to do with body size and emotional responses.
It would be interesting to hear what you think (from a male perspective).
Over and above my questions.
Welcome.
Glad that you and your wife have somehow found this site.
I believe that if you use the tools and support that you will find here, you will move on and make progress with beating this addiction.
Best wishes and keep in touch.
Amelia

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

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Welcome, UK Sax....

MWO is a great place to start, and perhaps you can share this website with your wife (there are several couples here already!).... as Trixie said, please start with supplements and vitamins.

I was thinking about vitamins and supplements this morning as I did my daily pill-drill.... thinking to myself, "Are these things REALLY doing anything? I think this is all in my head".... but they must be making a difference... otherwise, alcohol would just be a liquid that didn't really impact my behavior ...

:welcome:

[LVT25]

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:welcome::welcome::welcome:

Hi Sax---read the MWO book and keep coming back here. There is alot of great support and info here.

[uksaxplayer]

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Thanks all

Thanks for your support. I have been travelling a lot hence no reply. Got on great for 7 days and then to celebrate lost the plot for a week !!!! Sound familiar to anyone?

Back on it again and so its one day at a time again and "Beware the Sunday night".

Amelia - In terms of male versus female relative sizes, I believe it is scientifically proven to be the case. However, my wife can usually drink anyone under the table !!

[betty boop]

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Hi UKsaxplayer & :welcome:

My hubby and I both drink, and I can soooo relate to drinking to celebrate not drinking!!!!!

But at least you did the 7 days AF :goodjob: .....

CHeck in when you can, this place is amazing, you will have all the support that you need .....

Love & Hugs to you and your wife .........

BB xx

[Heavenly]

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I used to drink much more than any man I knew .... huh !

(And that is a claim I am not proud to tell people ...)

Good Luck UK Sax ... shame you couldn't let us hear you playing your Sax ...

Heavenly

[Sunbeam]

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It's not that we women can't drink as much - we definitely can (and I have)! But we get drunk more quickly, and do more damage to our bodies.

[Palatia]

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Hi UK...

You just made a big first step... Having the desire and finding support...

:welcome:

You'll find this a VERY supportive group of people who have all gone through similar and/or even the exact thing.

It is weird to redefine a relationship as well as changing habits as I found out 6 six years ago when a BF and I were both not drinking, after it was a HUGE part of our relationship. I think you have to go to new places (if you go out) and find new things to do. It helps me to have something planned for in the mornings so I'm more motivated to get to bed..

Also, this forum is indispensible... I'm here many hours a day, even if just reading.

Congrats on starting the first day of your life... Hopefully your wife will follow...

[Thankful]

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Uksax ~ Welcome.

A lot of great advise already given and all I can do it say ditto.

Get the book, vitamins and supplements. And ask your wife to log on with you, or create her own sign-on. Even if she just logs on and reads the posts, she may find she likes the support and inspiration.

Best of luck to the both of you. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[uksaxplayer]

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thanks all for the support. we need it

[uksaxplayer]

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Thank you again, all of you. We made another 2 weeks before going out this weekend but this time, we have been much more restrained. Today is sunday and we are up cooking sunday lunch and feelng hangover free and determined again that we are back on the wagon again. We are BOTH still committed to it and I do feel hope for the future.

To all in the same position, I do understand it is very hard for both partners to be committed at the same time - it has taken us ages, but stick in there it is possible.