Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Courage

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Courage

    I found this site and am very glad I did. I can't believe how scared I am of posting but here goes...
    The anxiety I am feeling today is way out of control. I know it is from my drinking. I have progressed from drinking on the weekends to drinking daily to drinking earlier each day. I watch Intervention and think I am not that bad yet...but I am. I consider myself an intelligent person but I am dumbfounded about how could I let myself become this person? A person that I don't like anymore. A person that is letting her family down. I just got off the phone with my husband and told him that the drinking has to stop, he is my drinking buddy. I asked him to please don't bring home alcohol when I ask. We have this ritual when he is on his way home, he calls to see if I need anything and he brings it. Then the party starts and I see the disappointment in my daughter's eyes.

    I really think I have had enough. This is my day one.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Courage

    Welcome, i am new here myself. Similar situation where i went from going out on weekends to a local pub and as anxiety and family issues increased so didn't my drinking and i was becoming a person I no longer liked, nor did my children. I was at the point where i looked at the clock and waited to get home to have that first (but not last) glass of wine. I used the excuse, I like to have a glass of wine when cooking, then a glass with dinner...then i didn't need an excuse. I have not been able to go AF yet (its only been a week and with the holidays it was tough with no family around) but I have been able to cut down substantially, after taking the Kudzu i feel i don't "need' that drink. Trying to get your SO to work with you rather against you might be tough, particularly not knowing how much he/you both drink together. If he can't do it prove it to yourself (and your daughter!) that you are the stronger one...

    Comment

      #3
      Courage

      Hello Courage

      I just started. Today is my Day 7. Part of the trip has been drudgery. My inner brat is saying "Whaaaah! I want my wine!". I anticipated that it would... well suck pretty much. Thanks to the supplements and the support on this board I have found it very doable. I was drinking 4-5 glasses each evening. I had tried to stop recently and thought that I was going to start throwing dishes or something - that was how bad it was going it alone. The Kudzu and other stuff is amazing. No dishes getting broken here
      What I did not expect (at ALL) was the eurphoria, radiance and mental clarity that would accompany this process. It seems like a weird and wonderful trip I am on. I adore my family and I am back to being the supportive mom and wife. I am the main go-to person for 2 elderly family members who suffer from dementia. Wonderful things have happened there as well.
      I feel like a new day is dawning. I just sit back and say wow and thank-you to the universe.
      Be kind to yourself and stick to your AF guns like your life depends upon it...becuase it does.

      Comment

        #4
        Courage

        Welcome, I am also new. Yesterday was my first time on. Your relationship sounds just like mine. When I read yours I thought I had written it. My husband of 20 years also calls everyday on his way home to see if we need beer. We have had many conversations about not buying but always do. I too can not wait till the clock hits three so I can leave work and have that first beer. Over the weekend we did nothing but fight because I was trying not to drink and he was drunk most of it. I love him dearly but don't know if I will be able to stop drinking if I stay with him. I wish you luck.

        Comment

          #5
          Courage

          Welcome all of you! I'm still very new myself.. today is my Day 3. With the support here, it makes it So much easier. I check in here several times a day..

          Today, I already started seeing something different.. (even though I'm exhausted from not sleeping well yet), people are smiling at me more.. Went to the gas station to get cigs.. made ppl smile, went to the dry cleaners, the woman smiled when before no one there really had. I must be putting some different aura out there.. .

          Good luck to you all.. I can totally relate to the drinking buddy hubbies.. I was in that situation at one time.
          P.S. You can't love if you don't love yourself... :heart:

          As you wander through life, sister/brother, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.
          - Sign in the Mayflower Coffee Shop, Chicago

          Comment

            #6
            Courage

            I know when I was drinking Palatia, I never smiled or said hello to anyone as I was too busy thinking about what AL to buy, how much to buy, when to start drinking it, when was hubbo coming home so I could work out how much to drink before he did, where I could hide my vodka bottle and sip at it whilst hubbo was home, and how to get the bottle out of the house in the morning.

            It was my life, basically...I didn't have time to be NICE to people!!
            'The only people who give you a hard time (for stopping drinking) are those who used to look to your drinking to excess to legitimise theirs, and they'll find someone else to do that in time. '
            From an Amazon review of Allan Carr's ' Easy Way to Control Alcohol'

            Comment

              #7
              Courage

              jump in!

              Welcome JB! Also hello to petpeeve, sasha, Shelby, Palatia and Hover! I found others when I first started on MWO who were starting about the time I was - and we are all now running the Alcohol Free days at about the same rate - I suggest you Hook up as buddies and cheer each other on while you are just starting out. I know it sure helped me!

              Best to you all - and the only way to jump in is to JUMP IN - so way to go!

              Liv :welcome:
              AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


              Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


              (from the Movie "Once")

              Comment

                #8
                Courage

                JB, hi..... Glad you've found the courage to post, don't be scared....

                Talk to hubby, tell him how you feel, that you want to stop or at least cut down, he might actually be thinking the same as you. Thing is, us men, don't want to admit we have a problem with drink.

                Petpeeve, hi to you too....

                Sasha, hi and well done on 6 days, you are an inspiration.....

                Shelby2, hi and welcome to you too... It's hard to quit when you have support, if you can't get hubby on board, it will seem impossible.... Keep reading and posting, good luck to you all.
                TIGGER1 :l
                _____________

                Formerly Mr Boop

                Comment

                  #9
                  Courage

                  JB, PetPeeve, Sasha, Shelby 2, WOW so many new faces on one thread!
                  Palatia, hovercat, Hi again!
                  :welcome: to all of you! You will find this is one great place to be as you begin your journey into a lighter life! Here are lots of people that have been where you are, and are more than willing to help you get to where you want to be. It sounds from what I read that all of you are more than ready to make the first steps to becoming free of AL! GREAT! Please take some time, read up on some of the threads both new and old, post, post, ask questions, think about what your personal triggers are that make you want to drink. If you can, and have not done so already, download or purchase RJ's book, there is a lot of good information in there! A couple of you said you are using suppliments, those types of products as well as various medications are described elsewhere on this board. Be sure to look at it if you think you might need a little extra help!
                  Bring in your questions, comments, concerns! somewhere on here you will find domeone who does know where you are and how you feel, and they will be willing to share experience and ideas with you as to how you can get to a better place.
                  I would suggest to you that each of you must do this for YOU! If you do it for YOU, you CAN do it. It is good if your spouse supports you, but if he/she doesn't please don't let that stop you from going ahead with your plan.
                  Speaking of plans, if you have not done so, think about and and write down your plan to stop drinking. think about what you would like to do with the time you will find available and also with the money you will not be spending on AL.
                  Stay Storng! I look forward to hearing more from each of you as time goes on!
                  BHOG
                  War isn't working. Let's try Peace!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Courage

                    Thanks!

                    I have a GREAT feeling that I finally have found something that can work for me....with support like this, I almost feel like I can do anything! Thank you each! My day has gotten so much better and I am making it through that time of day when I normally would start drinking!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Courage

                      To echo BHOG - welcome to all the new name here and any others out there who feel the need to make a change. It is such an understatement to feel weird, scared, ashamed etc. over drinking and what control it has over your life. For many that threat of loss control over drinking never goes away. It can be confronted and changes can be made. MWO has helped me in so many ways I never imagined or thought possible.

                      The best part was just having a place to pour it all out with waves of support that always followed here after tough time. I hope you all find the success and peace within yourself I have found so far. Do not hesitate to ask!

                      Hugs
                      Is Addiction Really a Disease?
                      Watch this and find out....
                      http://youtu.be/ekDFv7TTZ4I

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Courage

                        Hello and :welcome: to you all! I'm happy you've found this place--this program can be a real life saver! I can relate to you, JB, my hubby is one of my best drinking buddies also. I quit smoking, and since the beer and the smokes went hand in hand--the beer had to go too. At least for awhile. I just told him some--he still doesn't know about this place--kinda private about that. Anyway, it's been over 3 weeks now, and even though he still drinks plenty--I don't resent it, or get too bitchy with him. I'm actually a little embarressed by the slurring, and the smell the next day--whew!!!
                        That used to be me too. I feel like I'm doing a better job as a mom--and I feel great when I wake up each morning. I was attracted to the MWO program because 1. It was a do at home deal--no rehab, and 2. There is hope for moderation. I have cut way down on my drinking and I'm much more aware of how much I'm drinking. Most would recommend you quit for 30 days, and that I'm sure is best.
                        So, yes, for sure read the book, and keep coming back here!!
                        _______________
                        NF since June 1, 2008
                        AF since September 28, 2008
                        DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                        _____________
                        :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                        5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                        _______________
                        The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                        Comment

                        Previous template Next
                        Working...
                        X