Glad is still here thanks to you all!

[Guest]

I have never joined any message boards before, but I keep coming back here because you are my lifeline at the moment. Thankyou for understanding and for not criticising me.

Yesterday I had my usual extreme saturday hangover (I am in New Zealand it is now sunday 4 at 11.23am) and I only had 5 drinks all day yesterday.

This morning I woke up with a clear head and haven't had a drink. I am going to try not to have one at all today which will be the first time in 2 years! I can now see that my house is a mess and I want to get it cleaned up before the kids arrive back tonight. Dinner will be on the table and mum there to listen about their weekend. Tomorrow is Queens Birthday and I want to take them somewhere outdoorsy for a walk and not have my usual stash of booze in the glovebox.

Please give me strength I am scared of withdrawal symptoms and if I can mentally cope with them.

Glad

[Guest]

Glad is still here thanks to you all!

Glad;

Sounds like you're trying really hard, congratulations on not drinking or drinking less, whichever road you take will be a start. You may not realize it now, but you do have strength, probably alot more than you are giving yourself credit for.

Just stay with us and keep posting, draw your strength from us, your kids need you.

Brandy

[Guest]

Glad is still here thanks to you all!

You need to take deep breaths and keep trying to relax. It helps a lot to focus on breathing. One of the symptoms of withdrawal is anxiety and focusing on the breathing will help you to settle and focus. The only thing I am concerned about is whether your withdrawal will only be about anxiety and irritability or whether it will be more serious. Can you write and tell us how much you have been drinking and for how long? If your symptoms get worse than anxiety and irritability, you may need a little more help. Keep coming here and posting. If you can download the PDF copy of the book, it gives the different stages of addiction and what you can expect in withdrawal. Knowing what to expect will give you more power to handle it. Most importantly, keep coming back. Best wishes!

Kathy

[Guest]

Glad is still here thanks to you all!

Glad again

Thankyou for you replies. Yes I am concerned about how my body will physically react also.

My drinking started when I was 14 and progressed until at the age of 24 when I met my husband. By then I was having anxiety attacks and was put on valium. I couldn't drink as every time I did (even only a small amount) would make me sick for days. My husband was very supportive and not a big drinker, although I found it very hard socially, people could not understand why I couldn't even have 1, and I felt so dull and uninteresting, although people said I was a much nicer person sober.

I became pregnant and subsequently had 4 children over the next 5 years, breastfeeding between pregnancies. I became an aerobics instructor and was a local model of fitness. My marriage wasn't ideal but a lot to do with that was my natural need to be social and my husband was very much a homebody.

When pregnant with my youngest child, it was discovered that she had a life threatening condition. It was not known if she would get to birth let alone survive birth, or after. She did survive but needed a lung removed and energency heart surgery at 5 weeks of age, at which I was stuck in a spec. childrens hospital at the other end of the country and I was seperated from my family, the kids were then 2, 3 & 5, my oldest boy starting school without mum.

Since then I have spent a lot of time in the same situation, away from home and obviously there have been a lot of stresses including financial due to her complicated condition and constant medical needs.(She is on oxygen and is fed through her nose with a tube to her stomach amongst other things.)

On one of the earlier trips a friend invited me out and I had my first drink again. That was that. Upon returning home I became progressively worse. Id sit in the garage smoking and drinking while my uncommunicative husband played computer games or watched tv. I then started going out, sometimes leaving on friday nite and not coming home again til sunday evening. I was hanging around with a different crowd (heavy drinkers) and had an affair which devasted my already rocky marriage. I was then assulted regularly by this man and wound up in trouble with the police and banned from the local pubs. Things since then have continued to worsen to the point where I drink constantly ( between 6 & 20 a day) even more if I go out as my ex has the kids on the weekends.

Bascically my whole life is a mess and I have hit rock bottom. When I found this site I was actually looking up suicide as I just wanted to end it all. But instead of ways to do I found this link!!

Anyway that is my l o n g post my drinking in a nutshell. But I really want to STOP! It is now 1.12pm and I still have not touched a drop.

Has anyone else drank this much and been able to get through safely? I am a strong and intelligent 35 year old woman and I really want to do this.

[Guest]

Glad is still here thanks to you all!

Re: Glad again

Oh my Glad,
Thank you for taking such good care of yourself. I'm relieved and encouraged for your children. This is so hard for you. Please forgive yourself for your past excesses and just make it through today. Don't forget, you can talk with people live on Live Chat. Anni

[Guest]

Glad is still here thanks to you all!

Re: Glad again

Hey Glad,

It was nice to be able to chat with you. Hang in there and do not beat yourself about the past. You obviously have a loving family that needs you; know that their joy is yours as well.

Wishing you the very best, Greg