Sad but hopeful

[It's all good]

Sad but hopeful

Ace,
I too, own and run a company and have employee's and etc. It's all the same. We all feel the same shame, guilt, wanna run and hide feelings. I hope you know that this can be a good place for you. There is a wealth of info here that has helped me out in my good and in my bad time. I thought I could hide it (and quite well I might add) but couldn't. It is what it is and we reach the point of wanting off of this merry go round MWO is a really good place for support.
Good luck to you, good luck to all of us as we all need it!
God Bless
IAG

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

4theboyz

I followed your link to your story..wow.. you made it to 30 days and beyond..

Your words, experiences, toughts, feelings are inspiring to me.

Thank you for sharing your journey, I will lean on it, leverage it and refer to it frequently as I start my own journey.. The fact that you did it is proof to me that it can be done.

Thank you for sharing,

Riker

[Shikakai]

Sad but hopeful

You have done something good for yourself, Ace... you're going to get tons of support and encouragement... you are with "family" when you come to MWO... stay with us :l

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

Sad and hopeful

Made it through the witching hour(liquor stores closed and only champagne in the house, not a threat)...no AL since Sunday noon...tomorrow will be longest I've gone without AL in probably 7 years. I am irritable and more than a little emotional/sad...I have to fly 4 hours IFR tomorrow at dawn and then work all day....no supplements yet...haven't had time to research what to buy.

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

Good for you Ace.. you made it through ... way to go..:goodjob: tomorrow is another AF day that awaits...

I was also AF from Sunday evening until this afternoon, when I gave in to the beast...But tomorrow is another day.. an AF day I hope.

How about you and me go at it together ? I can use someone to go AF along side of me right about now.. ie: need an AF buddy that is at the same point I am.

What do you say Ace ?

Let's see how far we can go !

Riker

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

Sad and hopeful

I am up for going as long as possible AF. I just don't know how long thats going to be. If I say a certain period of time I am afraid I will fail. I know I can make it to Wednesday at 6pm then all bets are off until 9pm again...maybe 1 week is a good goal, maybe 1 month, maybe 3 months, maybe 3 more minutes. I have never been where I am right now and don't know what to expect. sleeping pill (ambien) a good magazine (plane and pilot) sleep.

[SashaBanicek]

Sad but hopeful

My first day on my way out

48000 posts. That tells us something.

I've been a functioning alcoholic for 20 years.
I did my best to hide it. Stashing bottles all over the house.

I too own my own sucessful business and earn a substantial income. College grad, advanced degrees, jobs overseas, and now my own sucessful business.

But why can't I control THIS??

I made the "stop drinking" promise many times.
And failed, continuously.
It's either rehab (not an option), or do it myself.
My husband knows my problem, and tries to help. But he can't.
Enabelers can't help.
I come from a long line of alcoholics and I am desperate to stop, yet powerless.

I've never spoken or written about my battle to anyone but my husband.

As I'm posting this message, I'm drinking a beer. I purcahsed all the on-line CD's, vitamins etc, and just received them today. I havn't listened to the CDs , read the book or took the vitamins, I'm here posting, drinking a beer.

At least it's a start. I am determined to quit. I can't drink in moderation, I must stop entirely. My Dad was able to stop cold turkey 30 years ago when I had to slap him in the face trying to wake him up thinking he was dead. Next day, he quit and hasn't had a drink since. I wish I was as strong.

I'm glad to have found this forum and to find that there are SO many people like me.

I'm buzzed right now, but still determined to set a day to quit. I have all the resources, I just need to do it. Why do people look down on us when they don't frown on people who have heart failure, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis etc etc.?? They say we drinkk because we have a character/personality flaw.

If I'm so flawed, how can I run a multi-million dollar company?

Because I function. As an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic.

Just posting this message is my start to recovery. I never put it out there in words for everyone else to see.

Tomorrow is a new day. One day at a time, right??:new:

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

aceofbase;298184 wrote: I am up for going as long as possible AF. I just don't know how long thats going to be. If I say a certain period of time I am afraid I will fail. I know I can make it to Wednesday at 6pm then all bets are off until 9pm again...maybe 1 week is a good goal, maybe 1 month, maybe 3 months, maybe 3 more minutes. I have never been where I am right now and don't know what to expect. sleeping pill (ambien) a good magazine (plane and pilot) sleep.

My Friend, I am not asking for any comittment other than I will try and you will try along with me. If we manage to be AF tomorrow, then great, if we don't, well then we try again..

I've been there to many times and I know exactly what you are feeling regarding time frames etc.. it's one day at a time, or one hour at a time or hell even one minute at a time.. does not matter.. as long as we try and keep each other motivated and support each other.. that's what this community is all about, supporting each other in times of need.

I'm just asking you if you are willing to give it a shot with me.. it's called peer pressure :H

Not really.. but you know what I mean, just wanted to start this journey with someone who is at the same stage I am at right now..Hey I'm not saying I can do squat !.. just that I want to try .. (Yoda would be disapointed with me saying that !)

Stephane

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

Welcome !

Welcome Sasha,

If you have been reading up a bit around here you already know how people here are awsome and this is a great place to share your experiences. I am glad that you found this place and posted. This is the one place that I can truly express myself without fear of reprisal or judgment. Here you find understanding and support.

:welcome:

[SashaBanicek]

Sad but hopeful

I'm new, please help

:new:

SashaBanicek;298189 wrote: 48000 posts. That tells us something.

I've been a functioning alcoholic for 20 years.
I did my best to hide it. Stashing bottles all over the house.

I too own my own sucessful business and earn a substantial income. College grad, advanced degrees, jobs overseas, and now my own sucessful business.

But why can't I control THIS??

I made the "stop drinking" promise many times.
And failed, continuously.
It's either rehab (not an option), or do it myself.
My husband knows my problem, and tries to help. But he can't.
Enabelers can't help.
I come from a long line of alcoholics and I am desperate to stop, yet powerless.

I've never spoken or written about my battle to anyone but my husband.

As I'm posting this message, I'm drinking a beer. I purcahsed all the on-line CD's, vitamins etc, and just received them today. I havn't listened to the CDs , read the book or took the vitamins, I'm here posting, drinking a beer.

At least it's a start. I am determined to quit. I can't drink in moderation, I must stop entirely. My Dad was able to stop cold turkey 30 years ago when I had to slap him in the face trying to wake him up thinking he was dead. Next day, he quit and hasn't had a drink since. I wish I was as strong.

I'm glad to have found this forum and to find that there are SO many people like me.

I'm buzzed right now, but still determined to set a day to quit. I have all the resources, I just need to do it. Why do people look down on us when they don't frown on people who have heart failure, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis etc etc.?? They say we drinkk because we have a character/personality flaw.

If I'm so flawed, how can I run a multi-million dollar company?

Because I function. As an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic.

Just posting this message is my start to recovery. I never put it out there in words for everyone else to see.

Tomorrow is a new day. One day at a time, right??:new:

[SashaBanicek]

Sad but hopeful

Thanks Riker

New to the site, new to the format. Just having your reply helps.
Thank you.

SashaBanicek;298189 wrote: 48000 posts. That tells us something.

I've been a functioning alcoholic for 20 years.
I did my best to hide it. Stashing bottles all over the house.

I too own my own sucessful business and earn a substantial income. College grad, advanced degrees, jobs overseas, and now my own sucessful business.

But why can't I control THIS??

I made the "stop drinking" promise many times.
And failed, continuously.
It's either rehab (not an option), or do it myself.
My husband knows my problem, and tries to help. But he can't.
Enabelers can't help.
I come from a long line of alcoholics and I am desperate to stop, yet powerless.

I've never spoken or written about my battle to anyone but my husband.

As I'm posting this message, I'm drinking a beer. I purcahsed all the on-line CD's, vitamins etc, and just received them today. I havn't listened to the CDs , read the book or took the vitamins, I'm here posting, drinking a beer.

At least it's a start. I am determined to quit. I can't drink in moderation, I must stop entirely. My Dad was able to stop cold turkey 30 years ago when I had to slap him in the face trying to wake him up thinking he was dead. Next day, he quit and hasn't had a drink since. I wish I was as strong.

I'm glad to have found this forum and to find that there are SO many people like me.

I'm buzzed right now, but still determined to set a day to quit. I have all the resources, I just need to do it. Why do people look down on us when they don't frown on people who have heart failure, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis etc etc.?? They say we drinkk because we have a character/personality flaw.

If I'm so flawed, how can I run a multi-million dollar company?

Because I function. As an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic.

Just posting this message is my start to recovery. I never put it out there in words for everyone else to see.

Tomorrow is a new day. One day at a time, right??:new:
Riker;298192 wrote: Welcome Sasha,

If you have been reading up a bit around here you already know how people here are awsome and this is a great place to share your experiences. I am glad that you found this place and posted. This is the one place that I can truly express myself without fear of reprisal or judgment. Here you find understanding and support.

:welcome:

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

SashaBanicek;298189 wrote: I come from a long line of alcoholics and I am desperate to stop, yet powerless.

new:

I can relate to that.. my biological father is an alcoholic, and my mother left him when I was five years old, my mother's father (my grandfather) was an alcoholic and died of liver failure at 86, my mother's brother (my uncle) was an alcoholic and died at 33 of a hearth attack.. strangly my mother never really drank.. she get's tipsy after 2 glasses of wine and can't function.. meanwhile I'm on my 14th beer and still going strong..until the next day that is..

So, Ya, I believe in that " genetically transferred disease" theory..

[Palatia]

Sad but hopeful

Today is my goal..

You know what? I dont' want to drink ever again... but each day... TODAY is my actual goal.. that is all I can deal with at a time... and it's working... !

Hugs... Don't make it hard.. make it today... one day at a time..

AL will always be available.. always out there... so just for today... I'm good with just for today... tomorrow ... well... is tomorrow.. takes the pressure off of today, ya know?

[Palatia]

Sad but hopeful

To Sasha

Sasha!!

:welcome:

I just read your message... I can so relate to the education, etc.. I just finished a degree... (surprised I had enough brain cells left to get a high GPA. :P )

You can do this.. I have found this forum is Critical to my not drinking... On my own, I could get up in the morning and say.. I won't drink tonight.. guess what.. by 7pm I was starting my drunk on.

Since being here, I have done it so far. I'm only on Day 4 but that's a record in many, many years for me... Take care and come back often!

[SashaBanicek]

Sad but hopeful

Thanks Riker

My Mom too never drinks a drop. Both her parents were alcoholics and she decided never to drink. It's my father's side that drinks. Odd- she's from Brooklyn and my dad's side is from Amish country. I'm part of an Amish family- no cars, only horse drawn buggies, men with long beards, no radios or TV's. My Grandfather is 98 and one of 13 kids all raised on a farm. He broke away and do did I. I've been so financially sucessful yet sometimes hate myself because I can't have 1-2 drinks and leave it at that. My brother is 45, I'm 42, and we've both struggled wth this problem for years.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I'm in a difficult place right now and I'm thankful that I now have someone to talk to about my addiction. I'm going to listen to a "break your habits" CD and hopefully fall asleep.

Have a wonderful day tomorrow Riker. Thanks again.

Riker;298197 wrote: I can relate to that.. my biological father is an alcoholic, and my mother left him when I was five years old, my mother's father (my grandfather) was an alcoholic and died of liver failure at 86, my mother's brother (my uncle) was an alcoholic and died at 33 of a hearth attack.. strangly my mother never really drank.. she get's tipsy after 2 glasses of wine and can't function.. meanwhile I'm on my 14th beer and still going strong..until the next day that is..

So, Ya, I believe in that " genetically transferred disease" theory..