Sad but hopeful

[AMELIA]

Sad but hopeful

It was degrading, yep. To our relationship etc, but yes I can see the comic thing too.
But it is reality....we are not actors. These are the sort of things that may happen.

This is a difficult thing to work out and work through.
That's why we don't see headlines in the papers saying ' the council has been amazed at how so many alcoholics and drug addicts have suddenly been able to moderate or turn away from substance abuse altogether.....
Once an addict,....you need to do some serious work to get out of your addiction....habits, addictions....you NEED to work to break free.

Love to you Ace

Yep, I am preaching again.

x

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

Hi Ace

Ace ! . .

I'm just back online.. was a long day at the office and they have decided to start blocking internet sites and this is one of them, " questionable content" , of course this is all done by content filtering appliance based on general categories.. like alcohol.. so it's not an actual person who decided to block it. .long story short, I don't have access to MWO during the day while at work.. which is a shame because I found it very helpful to keep motivated etc.. How do I go to the manager responsible and say " please unblock MWO for me, I need cause I'm working on a personal problem " .. ya. .not likely..

Good job on Day 4.. I am on Day 2 right now. but I have done 2 weeks before .. all the things you mentioned earlier are completely normal.. I was DEAD TIRED the entire 2 weeks I was AF and yes I was taking supps. Vit C, B, etc..I was just totaly drained.

I also did not sleep very well at all.. hard time falling asleep without my 12 beers..and yes the vivid dreams are normal..

So, I was AF for 2 weeks and I asked the same question you did.. When exactly am I supposed to feel " better " .. cause so far I've been feeling like total crap every day. .

So, I understand. .does it get better ? of course it does.. there are many long time AFers here to confirm that.. how long ? I think it depends on each person.. how far down the spiral we are to begin with.. how much are bodies are used to consuming etc..

So, I'm hoping that this time around, either I will feel better inside of 2 weeks or very very shortly after that.. But I am only on Day 2 right now.

I read here that it takes 90 days for your brain to return to normal chemistry.. that's 3 months AF.. something I have not been since I was 15 or so ?

Anyways, GOOD JOB. .and stay strong. .for me it's been relatively easy these past 2 days.. because I've been there before.. I know what to expect.. My Big Scary Moment is the weekend.. and it's comming up REAL FAST.. I ok for Friday.. I can handle Friday.. but Saturday is the hardest day for me to not drink.. in fact, I have not been able to do it yet.. when I was AF for 2 weeks.. it was 13 days.. not 14, cause I slipped on the Saturday..

We'll see.. I'm trying to stay positive..

Take care,

Riker

[auntiegriselda]

Sad but hopeful

Hi Ace and everyone else.

I have slipped again, but not too badly. Had about 3 glasses of wine last night and two tonight. It got really stressful at work and I weakened. At least I didn't drink a whole bottle at one time! (Which if the truth be told, I wanted to!) I've been thinking so much about everyone on this site and how we are all struggling with our own demons. I've been having to be at work at 0530 every morning this week and through Sat. And I'm NOT an early riser! Next week will be better.

Ace, I think you are doing so well. I can't even tell you how much I admire you for doing 4 days AF. Funny how we each have our favorites. Myself, I hate rum!

And so to sleep....perhaps to dream...

Auntie

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

Take Care Auntie..

Tomorrow is another day.. it will be better than today..

Have a restful sleep..

Riker

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

sad but hopeful

g'night boys and gurls....made it through another day AF...even at the bar/restaurant. My wife had two glasses of wine and the reps had beer. I had water...boring...oh well, I have had enough booze the last few years to last me a while...Friday coming...Riker you stand firm this weekend on Sat...its just a day, 24 hours in it, light and dark, it doesn't need to have any special power over you...pretends its Tuesday and some arcane holiday like global save the barley day.

I added up how much I would have consumed so far since I went AF and its shocking to me.

1/2 day Sunday 250ml
Monday 300ml
Tuesday 300ml
Wednesday 300ml and 1/2 bottle of wine
Thursday 250ml glass of wine or beer

Thats 1.4 liters of rum and 1 bottle of wine...plus mixers and alot more food....I figure a total of nearly 4000 calories not consumed.

Tomorrow is a new opportunity to string another day on the AF necklace......gonna go dream about weird stuff...Day 5 and a weekend coming.

[42cat]

Sad but hopeful

Nice to meet you ... a lot of what you said sounds familiar to me (a drink with my hubby to mask my breath, for example ... and then I'm off to my secret stash for top-ups through the evening ... forgot where I hid empty cups, etc).

Anyway .. great to hear you are also feeling hopeful .. hold onto that .. (me too). We can do this.

And .. Welcome to you and to anyone else who's new too ... and thanks for sharing all your stories.

[42cat]

Sad but hopeful

P.s..... I'm also thinking of it in terms of calories as I try to cut down / go AF ..... Go figure why I wasn't losing these extra lbs ... *shaking head* .... We're gonna do this!

[Laurav]

Sad but hopeful

Hi Ace and Everyone,
I caught up on this thread last night. Sad but true, I could have written many of the posts.
Ace...hang in there brother, you are doing an awesome job. I'm in there with you, day 5 for me.
Your post got me thinking...being AF has saved me in the past 4 days:
Approximately 2 bottles of wine and 1/3 bottle of vodka = $25.
Feeling strong! Not drinking tonight is going to make my Saturday so much better!
Yay.

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

sad but hopeful

I negotiate for a living and when I look at giving something up I want to get something back so its win/win...that is simplistic but I find myself doing that here too..If I don't drink I will save X-number of empty calories which translates into weight loss of less miles running/biking to maintain...also less headaches, higher energy and so forth.

I am also paranoid about cancer and other diseases that alcohol makes you more likely to get. I get a complete checkup and blood workup next week....I am a sure bet for prostate cancer as all my older male relatives have gotten it (and survived it). Anyway, other than the selfish need to check out that alcohol rewards..not much benefit in excessive use...my self talk...sounds rational doesn't it? I am sure the demon is laughing his arse off.

[voices]

Sad but hopeful

Thanks for sharing

Hey Ace,

I just read through this thread last night and am extremely proud of you. It is very, very difficult to "be honest with yourself" and open up to total strangers. I still struggle with the honesty with myself part. I think that being honest is the hardest part and that is what keeps the voices in our heads going -- GUILT. I know I've spent countless nights awake basically fighting a losing battle in my head.

I wrote a success story a while back and now am in need of support again so will probably start a thread. Thank you for yours it is giving me the courage to open up and once again ask for help. The support on this site is phenomenol.

You are well on your way to freedom which is a beautiful thing.

Keep it up!

-Voices

[owlet]

Sad but hopeful

Hi All,
Owlet here. Dreading the weekend without a drink. Amelia, you're the clever one - I thought I was the only one who hid a bottle in a pair of boots! My hubby once found a bottle in the closet behind some clothes, so I thought I'd be smart and use the boot. :H But I'm on day 4, and I'm no longer a "closet drinker" (literally).
Ace, you be strong. I just started the supplements yesterday, so I'm hoping to make it through the weekend sober. Last weekend was particularly bad - I don't even remember eating Easter dinner, cleaning up, or saying good-bye to my mother in law! I must have been ok, though, because I did get my jammies on and got up Mon. morning for work. Scary stuff. This website is so inspiring for me. I'm glad I found you.
Owlet

[Noelle]

Sad but hopeful

Jeesh y'all. I'm STILL finding miniatures in drawers, the freezer, my purse, the car......they're everywhere!

Good luck y'all this weekend. Isn't there something y'all can look forward to? Like I'm looking forward to going out driving with my daughter who recently got her learner's permit. She's 18 so she's not as hesitant as she would've been if she'd gotten it at 16. (Her best friend was killed in a car accident while driving and trying to do a stunt and it scared her pretty bad.) Anyway, we just drive around and have too much fun! Her dad is no fun for her to drive with, so we leave him at home! I'm also looking forward to watching my Pittsburgh Penguins play hockey on Sunday. It's the little things, ya know?

And don't ever think light of "only" 5 days, or 4 days or whichever day it is. Every single day is a big deal!!! So don't say "only" 'cause I'm always watching for that and I will smack you down! :H

:rays: Good days ahead!

[Palatia]

Sad but hopeful

Thank God I've had something going on almost every morning that gives me extra incentive not to drink. Tomorrow (Sat.) I'm watching my baby granddaughter, probably all day. Now if that isn't enough to keep me AF I dont' know what is...

Phone interview this morning for a job... then an online psychololgical questionnaire like I've never had before... man.. I have anxiety now.. some of those questions had no right/good answer..

ACE!! You're doing great. I love the way you're thinking... awesome.

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

aceofbase;299499 wrote: ...Riker you stand firm this weekend on Sat...its just a day, 24 hours in it, light and dark, it doesn't need to have any special power over you...pretends its Tuesday and some arcane holiday like global save the barley day.

Hey Ace,

Just read your post now.. That is TOO FUNNY Man.. save the barley day .. LOVE IT..

Glad you are still AF.. so am I.. on day 3 now.. it's Friday.. but I'm ok.. I can deal with it.. I have to make it through this weekend.. especially Sat. I have to find something to do during the 8 to 10 hours I normally down 14 to 18 beers every Saturday.

I'm getting really fond of Lemon slices in a cold glass of water.. and it helps alkalize your body, which is very good since Booze is acidifying.. that is not good.

My motivations are also somewhat selfish.. I am registered for a 10 KM run that happens in 56 days from today.. and I am NO WHERE being ready.. My back was hurting after 10 minutes of running.. figured it out.. it's my gut hugeness of 4 inches to much and the 15 lbs inside of it that is making my back hurt.. weak abs makes the back overwork..

In the last 3 days.. if I count today as AF cause it WILL be.. I would have drank 36 beers.. that equals about 60$ canadian.. yes, beer is very expensive here.. OUCH.. when I was in Florida on vacation a few weeks ago.. I drank about 8 to 10 beer cans a day.. but, a 24 pack of Bud cans cost me 18$ US.. the same here is $40 !!!

Stay strong brother.. and I'll do the same. I'll be on here during the weekend that is for sure.. Let's do this !

Riker

[Riker]

Sad but hopeful

Something that occured to me today

Something that occured to me today and it is helping me stay AF..

I was not born with a beer in my hand, so why should I die with one in my hand ?

Riker