Sad but hopeful

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Sad but hopeful

aceofbase;303380 wrote: I also got my angel wings today. I have applied for and received angel flight status which means I am part of national network of pilots who own airplanes and donate their services to fly medical patients (and parts) to treatments/appointments/surgery. I look forward to my first flight. Welcome to Angel Flight Central

Ace of Base,

I am beyond words (and based on my long-winded posts... that's a hard trick!).

I just went to angelflight central... what did I read?

Angel Flight pilots volunteer their time, the aircraft, fuel, and any other costs connected to the flight. These expenses cannot be charged to or shared by the passenger(s) and are not funded in any way by Angel Flight. Pilots flying missions should ask the FBO about fuel discounts, as many offer this in support of the Angel Flight mission. Also, we have agreements with some of the major airports to waive landing fees for an Angel Flight mission.

Fuel is at its all-time high, and you flipping volunteer to provide not only your time and your talent, but also your plane, and your fuel? Wow.

No, I cannot (officially) canonize you when you die, but I have the nomination letter ready to send to the Pope.

God Bless you, Mr. Ace, for creating kindness and sparking hope in others.:heart:

[gelgit]

Sad but hopeful

wings!

Isn't it amazing what we can accomplish even with a secret lover, AL, hanging on our backs and dragging our minds and bodies through such hellCongrats Ace, on all fronts, just think how high you/we can soar without that excess baggage. It's time to enjoy life:kudos:

[57Shelby]

Sad but hopeful

Ok, I have decided that Ace is a plant. He is a figment of our imagination, the holy grail, the pied piper. I think Big Brother has been writing his posts in an effort to guide us along the path to where we want to be. LOL Or, on the other hand, Ace is a superb individual. It seems everything he touches turns to gold. He is even doing this AF thing relatively easy!!! He is experiencing the cravings but not giving into them. He is amazing! Way to go ACE, keep your head strong. And God Bless you for all you do. I wish I knew you in real life. Me, on the other hand, I have caved in twice since Saturday. I told someone this morning that my heart is not fully in to the AF yet. I am leaving on vacation tomorrow to go to San Antonio for the NCAA Final Four. I know I will drink while we are there. My goal is to go, have one last hurrah with my lover, AL and try the 30 AF when I return next week. Well, congrats to all who are doing well, and hang in there to all who are still trying. We will make it. Thanks to all who have supported all us newbies.

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

sad but hopeful

Shelby, Thanks for the support! I can assure you that this is the hardest personal thing I have done in the last 10 years...I always kidded myself that I could go AF whenever I wanted to....thats easy to say if you don't do it yourself...I am doing it for now but every day its an enormous struggle at 6pm...If I weren't so busy running around, this would probably beat me. All I can say is that I am going to remain AF for tonight and we will see about tomorrow...You guys are the best and I literally could not have done this without your help...its just 11 days anyway, I will feel better when its 11 months if thats the path that I am on....don't know yet....I want to be able to drink in moderation but its too soon to tell if I will be able, right now the attraction is too high to attempt it and then erase all the energy that I have put into remaining AF this long...does that make sense?

[Sunbeam]

Sad but hopeful

Just hang in there for 30 days - that will give you some perspective on being AF..

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

sad but hopeful

...some research that I have done suggests three months without AL to reset brain chemistry (they don't know how sick my brain can be)...that seems like a long time to me to not even have a glass of wine..but like I said too soon to know. The losing weight part of this is good and I hope to be able to keep that up as I have now lost 7 lbs in 11 days...I need to lose 20, so at least 13 to go at 1/2 lbs a day = 26 more days....analytical. Anyway, it is coming off which is the right direction.

The last couple of days when my booze brain says lets drink to our success at 6pm, I have started laughing out load as if to say "Yeah, I bet you wish you were running the show again, but look how well you did, your fired!" Silly , but I don't turn into the liquor store parking lot then. I am sure the 5 liquor stores that I used to frequent are worried about me....thats another thing I did, rotate the liquor stores so that they wouldn't know how often I was drinking...I also disposed of empties in all kind of ways, including throwing them out the window of my car on side streets which I am not proud of...I am going to get a big trash bag and pick up whatever trash I can find in my neighborhood this weekend....I said this before but I am just amazed at how much mental energy it takes to worry about a drinking problem and cover it up...mental and emotional....so much effort wasted.

g'night all...tomorrow is day 12....and a Friday.

[57Shelby]

Sad but hopeful

Ace, I know this is tough. I did not mean to minimize your struggling. We are all fighting the same fight and it is difficult. My sense of humor can be weird at times. I think what you are the best at is hiding the negative. You are here to report your progress and success and that is what you do. That keeps this post in that hungry stage. People are sitting on the edge of their seat waiting to eat up your success. It lifts us up and gives us wings to get through our own battle (no pun intended). Ace, and everyone else, have a great day!! I am off to San Antonio for the Final Four Championship. I will have my computer with me so I will be in touch. You guys are fantastic!!!!!!

Shelby

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

Sad but Hopeful

Shelby, no worries. This is my first time at really trying to go AF....I don't know what I don't know. I will tell you this though, the headaches have stopped and the bloating that I had earlier is completely gone. Also I generally have about 20% more energy than before...not exhausted all the time. I get weary but that is because I don't get the mental break...but my body is not nearly as tried as before. My digestive tract is different too....this maybe TMI and I am sorry if it is but there is a difference in digestion and lets say "processing".

Got my first Angel flight booked for April 19th. I will give you my call sign and you can track the flight if you are interested on FlightAware - Free Flight Tracker - IFR Flight Status, Tracking, History, Maps (tracks every IFR flight in US in real time). My current call sign is N23979 and my Angel call sign will be NGF979.

I have been reading around in the site, reading people's stories....the human psyche and the ability to keep trying, falling down and getting back up and winning is amazing to me...talk about everyday Heros...non-drinkers have no idea what courage you people have...AL is insidious...you guys beat it regulary..that gives me hope.

Today is day 12. TGIF

[Heavenly]

Sad but hopeful

hey t13, i empathise and understand. Just stay around for support. Heavenly [QUOTE=Turtle13;301967]Sad and hopeful must mean alot to many people if I am clear on how this site works. Thanks for posting your story. I feel hopeful this time around cutting back, and so positive I happened upon this site today. What great therapy! Just a quick life story of my drinking: started drinking at 14,(long islands by 15), continued until my first child at 21-quit, started again, had another kid, quit, started again...6 years later another kid quit - started again. (My liver was probablly thinking "thank god for kids!!!) And here I am a mother of three absolutley wonderful boys and I find myself relying on Al (as I have seen posted) to get me thru the daily crap, the onset of age related pains and all the while adding to my depression, helplesness and hatred of myself for being controlled by something so addicting. Anyway, I like to drink, I like the taste of beer and wine - but why can't I stop at just one or two, why the obsessive need to continue? Im at this point again in my life wh

[aceofbase]

Sad but hopeful

sad but hopeful

"I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue"........ from the movie AIRPLANE.

My Dad checked himself into the Emergency room this morning and underwent emergency brain surgery this afternoon for a blood clot on his frontal lobe..I live nearby and he called me from the ER and tried to minimize it...I just got home from 12 hours in the hospital with him...he will be fine and make a complete recovery within a few days...meanwhile my wife is home from an emergency appendectomy on Tuesday and I am taking care of the kids and my business...I've had better weeks to say the least...Of course the AL demon would love to assist with my stress and while I appreciate the gesture, I have demured....not the kind of help I need not matter how much I want it....I felt the wave come over me and thought it was just the stress...looked up at the clock and it was 6pm and I just laughed...good try, almost got me again....but I sooooooooo deserve a drink, I have been so good and its almost 2 weeks....I need a new script this one is too boring and predictable.

Saturday is day 13 AF.

[lukalee]

Sad but hopeful

But imagine trying to do all that you need to do if you were drunk? Impossible. Could you be in the hospital for 12 hours with your dad? Maybe, but probably passed out in the corner. Could you help your wife? Probably not. If you drank would the kids and business suffer? Most definitely.

You are doing such a great job. Don't let AL fool you that you deserve a drink; you deserve SO MUCH MORE than that. Take a time out and do something you want to do that is far more rewarding than AL.

[LVT25]

Sad but hopeful

Wow, when it rains it pours, huh? I feel for you, but I'm glad everything is turning out ok.
Kinda seems like a test, huh? Looks like you passed with "flying" colors. I've also been wanting to tell you how amazing the "angels" thing is also--you must be pretty special.

[gelgit]

Sad but hopeful

So right and oh so wrong.....

Ace, you really picked the right time to be AF. Sounds like everyone around you needs a 100% of you, and, the best part, is that you are 100% there!! But when things get back to normal, the beastiest cravings are likely to hit you real hard. AL will whisper sweet nothings in your ear that you can relax now, let go, have fun and get drunk: you deserve it.

I know that your time is tight, but stay logged in here and keep posting updates.... you have a couple of us groupies following closely:H:H:H:H

[Heavenly]

Sad but hopeful

Hey aob, you know heavenly is praying for all of you. Don't give in to it now, it's true if you drink now you won't actually feel better nor be able to look after the family very well either. Heavenly

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Sad but hopeful

Hi Ace,

I'm just finishing day 6 AF and every day I've almost blown it for some dumb reason or another. I'm a "hey, I deserve it" kind of gal, too, but my love is wine. I woke up this morning amazed that I had a not-so-bad dream I remembered. This is a first for me in so long. Nightmares when I've taken a day AF here and there, yes, but not a regular 'ol dream.

I'm one day at a time, too, and unsure if my ultimate goal is AF or mod. No need to worry when it's one day at a time, right?

You're awesome, my hat's off to you, buddy!