Another Newbie

[miss m]

Greetings Friends -
Friends I guess because we have a common trait, problem, love. I am looking for some practical ideas or strategies toward moderation. It's just that I can't see me living my life totally without alcohol - particualry white wine. I see that this is a common passion many here share. I just don't know if I can completely give up that cool glass of wine on a hot day; that delcious addition to a special meal; or just sitting relaxing in the town centre enjoying a wine, winding down and watching the world go round; the sense of relaxation and joy I feel when I have that first glass. The trouble is - one is never enough. My goal is not to drink during the week. How have people managed this? Having read this - it sounds that I am a bit in love wine - can anyone relate to that?

miss m:h

[voices]

Another Newbie

Miss M
I happen to be on line so I thought I would send you a welcome to this safe haven. I've never been a wine drinker because for some weird reason, I'm allergic to the sulfites or something and it causes me to break out and swell. But there are a lot of folks here who love it. My hubby and I went to CA and did the wine country tour and hit 14 wineries a day (we were way younger and I just wore flip-flops when my feet got swollen).

Wine is such an elegant drink. I have glasses in my china cabinet that never get used. My hubby drinks Merlot. But back to your suggestion of moderation. That is something that only YOU will be able to figure out. I know with me, I wasn't finished until I drink the last beer in the house. I tried moderation and failed and am trying to get back on the AF track. There are a lot of people that are able to moderate successfully. I hope you are one of them if that is your ultimate goal!

Again, welcome and keep posting. It helps us not go crazy!!!(or at least for me it does).

-V

[jinja]

Another Newbie

Hi Miss M :welcome:

What a romantic picture you paint of your lover!!! Yes, there truly is nothing like it. If you have an "off button" that is. I don't!!

Just as when you come out of an abusive relationship and the rose tinted glasses go on - it wasn't really that bad.................. I'm sure if I behaved differently......etc, etc.

Yes, moderation can be an ulitmate goal, but first a period of AF to see a clear picture. The harder the AF at the beginning.....the clearer the picture!?!

I'm also quite new here and although spouting like an old hack, I have had this relationship for over 20years.

I wish you all the best finding your feet. I can't believe how much MWO has helped me clear up some of my false truths. Read and post, read and post.

Good luck & talk lots
Take care
xxx

[Karl1981]

Another Newbie

hi there i joined today as well.. im more of the 2 bottle a night kinda guy. ive been sober for 3 days now.. its really hard.

at the start of the year i had my first break up with my girlfriend and i promised i would only drink sometimes. it didnt work for me. ive lost her again. all that happened is i started off well then it just became worse. everyday i would drink that little bit more.

I think its up to the person like other people are saying.. im not sure.

But GOOD Luck

how much do you drink at the moment may be a factor though

Take care

[Cinders]

Another Newbie

Miss M,

If you hurry up and go to the Health Store you will find that MWO's third anniversary is allowing a FREE download of the MWO book.

This book describes how RJ learned to moderate, which is what you are wanting.

I hope and pray for you that it is possible. Many here do and do it very well!! So that is the good news.

The bad news is that some of us have discovered we are well past that point and it is not an option.

:welcome: and I hope your journey is a successful one. We will be here to help you in anyway we can.

Cindi

[Palatia]

Another Newbie

Welcome Miss m and Karl!!

:welcome:

I can understand your love affair with wine and what you think it adds to certain occasions and rituals. I guess I would add to the others by saying.. Imagine what watching a sunset or the people walking by the cafe or any number of memorable experiences.. without being tainted by alcohol.. Just enjoying the beauty of the moment .. for real.

Although some are able to moderate.. I don't think I'm one of those.. :P


:imho2:

[Ask For Help]

Another Newbie

Is mods possible?

Hi Miss M:

:welcome:
Yes mods is possible for many people, and it seems for some it is not possible. Each person has to go through their own process of discovery. Although the general consensus on this forum is that 30 days abstinence is the first step in the discovery process, I didn't do that, nor I believe did Roberta Jewel. So others can tell you better than I how that came to be the "norm".

I am now 3 months into mods (OK not a long timer, by any means, but still able to remember starting out vividly!!) and my first month I didn't do any of the supps or meds. IT WAS HARD the first week or two to break all those bad habits . . . but there is lots of support here, so read, post and chat (it's another form of addiction (lol) . . .

The second month w/ the supps and meds was much easier, so I say, why suffer more than you have to? Go for the supps (and I also use Topomax), CDs as soon as you can; use the Drink Tracker to keep track of your progress.

I also suggest you read lots of old threads on "what is mods" because being AF is pretty straightforward: you're not going to drink at all. But everyone defines mods differently. Some define it as 1 -2 drinks/day, some as no drinks during the week and moderate drinking on the weekend, etc. I'm happy to share my own approach and experiences if you're interested - you'll find others will too!

So again, welcome! Feel free to PM me and/or check in on the Monthly Mods thread as well as here.
Hope to hear from you!

Ask

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Another Newbie

Welcome Miss M, & Karl...

When I first quit drinking, I honestly think I was in MOURNING. I know that sounds sappy, but the thought that I would never, EVER, share a bottle of wine again... no wine at the Italian restaurant, no merlot in the hot tub with my hubby... I was truly in mourning.... crying at night that I couldn't be normal! How can any of these activities be fun, without alcohol?

I did the 30 days AF, and then I found this website, and decided to go for 60 days. I am much stronger than I was when I first came here. Today, my soul is in a happy place. I no longer feel shame, or regrets.... and Miss M, your first post doesn't really think about those regrets, does it?

My goal for drinking is to moderate. I have had an occasional beer lately, and I can now manage to have one glass of wine.... WHO would have thought that a bottle of wine could last all week? That was unheard of 6 months ago! But I stay close to this site. I take supplements and vitamins. I've also changed the self-destructive behavior (i.e. staying up all night when I should be sleeping).

I define moderation as drinking without getting drunk. Easy to remember. But if I falter, I'm going AF with no regrets.

Welcome :heart:

[57Shelby]

Another Newbie

Hi! I feel silly saying "welcome" since I am brand new here, too. But, I have to say how many posts sound as if someone is writing my story from another computer. I, too am having an affair with wine. I love the taste, the sparkle in the glass as the sun hits it from my deck. I love that rush of "ahhhhh" I get with the first glass. I love matching the perfect wine with the meals I cook. When I first started thinking seriously about doing something to manage my problem with alcohol, I was terrified! I actually broke out into anxiety stricken moments. How would I EVER live not being able to drink wine again? My goal long-term is moderation. One of the sad things is that I just realized while analyzing my current romance is I used to rush home to see my husband of 5 years. I now rush home to that glass of wine. I want to get back to where I used to be. I am not saying that I am doing this for him. I just realized how my romance with wine is interferring with my true love. I got the PDF version of the MWO book, read it in an hour and half, went back to the site and ordered the hypnosis CD's for AL and exercising, and ordered the starter kit of the supplements. I made an appointment with my Dr. and she agreed to prescribe the Topomax for me. I started it all on Friday. Yesterday was my first day AF. I have to say I am afraid that I will not be one of those who are able to moderate. My maternal grandfather and my father were both alcoholics. Three of my father's brother's were alcoholics as well. I was married to an alcoholic for 22 years. AL has been in my life for EVER!!!!!! I am looking forward to some time to be AF and get to know myself again and start with a clean slate and make wise choices. Right now I don't know what those choices will be. I guess the point I am trying to make is I am glad I got all the support materials. It really is helping take the edge off. I strongly recommend them. Posting and reading here has helped a great deal, too. I am only three days into this and hope my success continues. :thanks:

[tea]

Another Newbie

Hi Miss M, just a great big hello and welcome from me. Listen, read and join in. Great people here, a lot LOT LOT more eloquent than I am, just bringing you a warm warm welcome.

Lx

[Noelle]

Another Newbie

Welcome Miss M and Karl. You've just come to the best place possible to help you with quitting or moderating drinking! Have fun here and read a lot of posts and write a lot of posts too! It truly helps!

[Sunbeam]

Another Newbie

All those situations in which you included wine in the scenario - try them without wine. You may find that they are just as pleasant.

[FloridaBoy]

Another Newbie

:welcome: :new:

There are many 'types' of us. I just cannot moderate. If I drink only on weekends. I am drunk for the weekend. One is never enough. If you can do it :goodjob:

[miss m]

Another Newbie

Hi again,

I am overwhelmed with the response to my first posting on this site and feel greatly encouraged. Thank you all for your advice. I think I will try the 30 days AF - if I can. I would like to gian some control - especially in social situations - to be able to just say know - and not be overtaken with the desire to drink. Thank you all.

Miss M

[fishbk]

Another Newbie

I know what your saying

I understand at what point when we are having a few drinks do we fall over the edge. Its always right there. I would like to say I will only have 1 but I can't do that so I need to eliminate it all together to become who I used to be.