Hello everyone

[Coolgeek]

Hi everyone!

I'm a recently divorced (Jan) father of four. I've been drinking since about 16yrs old and I'll be 41 this May. I drink every single day and have for the past 20 years. I sometimes reflect on how much of a better life I could have if I didn't drink so much. I am an IT manager and make over 60K a year. I work a part time job at a liquor store to maintain two houses. I have my kids every other weekend Fri pm to Mon am. I drink the heaviest when I have them with me. It's pretty sad that I can only tolerate them under the influence. I normally tell myself on a Sat morning that I won't touch any alcohol until at least noon. Next thing you know I'm having a beer or vodka/grapefruit juice while I'm cooking them breakfast. I drink steady throughout the day but not enough to pass out.

I have just recently started seeing a girl that I'm interested in. She has no tolerance for drunkeness and I've hid it so far. I really like her and would like to start a relationship with her. That's why I am here. How do you stop after it being a daily occurence for so many years? I don't want to completely stop. I love drinking. Very sad when I read that. I don't want to be that guy that can't touch the stuff because I'll go on a bender. This girl will give me the boot for sure if she sees who I really am.

Any suggestions?

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hello everyone

Hi Coolgeek~

The first step you took.... coming here, can help you stop your drinking.

You say you can only tolerate your kids when you are under the influence.... when was the last time you were alcohol free for the weekend? When the kids are with you, are you making plans to keep the weekend busy, or is it more laid back with a day-at-a-time, we'll do whatever-comes-up type of weekend (which is more the norm around here).

Would the leftover feelings from your divorce attribute to your drinking around the kids? You don't have to answer here, just something to think about...

You, and your kids, are NEW to this divorce stuff, and it takes time to adjust into the new routine. I'm glad you found us while things are relatively new, so that you can look at your drinking habits and change them now.

I understand how sad it is to say, "I love drinking"... many of us are with you! And it IS okay to enjoy drinking, but you'll have to establish new rules with your brain... and they will come in time. I would suggest trying to go alcohol free for a couple of days.... see how it goes?

And Mr. Geek....
This girl will give me the boot for sure if she sees who I really am. .... is that really true? Come on, be gentle with yourself... you are a hard working, caring man.... a compassionate father. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place. :l

[trixietrack]

Hello everyone

hello and welcome coolgeek. I think there is a big difference between loving a drink, and being obsessed with drinking.
I guess if we just loved drinking, it would not cause any problems.

try cutting down set some rules.

and most of all be good to yourself say nice things to yourself.

be well and let us know how it goes

Trixietrack

[Coolgeek]

Hello everyone

I've tried



I've tried a few times during my marriage to quit drinking. I become the most miserable SOB that you will ever meet. I made it a couple of days once and came home to find a six pack that my wife purchased because she couldn't take it anymore. I become so irritable that it's just grating, like raw nerves.

I mentioned to my new gal pal that I drink. We had a discussion about how much and I wasn't a 100% honest, I was afraid she wouldn't want me. She explained that she wouldn't want to date a "drinker". This sucks. She is physically attracted to me and says I have a great personality and set of morals. We click on so many levels and then I have this big looming secret that can ruin everything.

Thanks for the kind words Patty, I am going to try.

[Palatia]

Hello everyone

Boy,.. I thought I 'loved' drinking too... it turns out, I was hiding from/covering up my probs from myself. And thought no one else saw them either... haha.. wrong.

There are a lot of feelings that come up when we begin AF.. and we start to see reality..

I also met a man recently who had no use for anyone who is 'dependent' on any substance.. I didn't tell him how much I drank. Never met him in person because there were other things that made me not comfy with him.. another story.

I guess the thing is... You are not the drinking. Who you are is the you underneath all that... That is what that woman sees...

Let her see the 'real' you sometime...

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hello everyone

Cool G~ miserable SOB is a temporary condition. I don't know your Ex, but buying you beer when she knows you are trying to quit is underhanded and unexcusable... and selfish on her part. NOT COOL. . However, that's in the past.

We are talking about your future happiness.
You own that 100GB called a heart.
No hard drive failures.
This is your internal re-boot.

Click. Click. Click... Don't let your secret ruin everything, okay?
If your kids aren't home this week, take the plunge and try to go AF.
One night at a time. Just tonight.

You deserve to be happy, Cool G. Find your way out.
Much love, with a gigabyte of sassiness,
Patty

[Coolgeek]

Hello everyone

Cutting back seem more doable than AF



I'll be working for 5 1/2 hours tonight at the package store. I get out at 11:30 and have to wake at 7:00 tomorrow morning. The only way to get to sleep is to have a nip of yukon and a few beers. If I try to go AF I'll lay awake all night long. I'm not trying to be a wimp and start with the excuses already...I'm just being realistic.

Selfish is my ex's middle name. You hit that nail right on the head.

[betty boop]

Hello everyone

Coolgeek, :welcome:,

When I first came here I was drinking at breakfast time as well .......

But for me it was everyday, not just weekends .......

Now we will all give you different opinions, what works for one won't work for everyone, I cut down gradually, starting later and later in the morning, and drinking less, At that stage I was drinking at least 3 bottles of wine a day, and yes I was functioning too!!!!!!

Now I never drink alone and never till after 7pm, and most of the time its in moderation ......

You CAN do this, baby steps is what worked for me ........

All the best in your journey and please keep us informed .......

PS have you downloaded RJ's book?? It is really inspiring ......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Noelle]

Hello everyone

I hear ya Coolgeek. I'll bet I could rival you in the SOB department though. My husband and daughter have left the house when I was the early days of trying to quit. And I'm just making a guess that if your new gal pal thinks those good things about you, she'd be okay with you telling her exactly what's going on, provided you intend on doing something about it. Don't let a secret ruin things for you two. I know alcohol can be a true devil with it's wiley ways of getting into your thought processes, but it can be beat.

I know that you can get the book that Roberta Jewel wrote that goes with the MWO site is free until the end of today. You can download it in the Health area. It contains lots of things that will you help you on your way, including supplements and prescriptions that can really help too.

Why don't you try downloading that and see what you think? It's certainly worth a look, right?

Good luck.....we're here for ya!

[LVT25]

Hello everyone

coolgeek--

Welcome. You've taken the first step, now keep going in the right direction.....My first recommendation is to read My Way Out--you can download it or buy it. The attractive part of this program is that we can learn to drink in moderation--or at least it is possible for some. It's a good way to find out. Start there, then get a plan and keep coming back.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hello everyone

Coolgeek;301665 wrote:

I'll be working for 5 1/2 hours tonight at the package store. I get out at 11:30 and have to wake at 7:00 tomorrow morning. The only way to get to sleep is to have a nip of yukon and a few beers. If I try to go AF I'll lay awake all night long. I'm not trying to be a wimp and start with the excuses already...I'm just being realistic.

Selfish is my ex's middle name. You hit that nail right on the head.

Cool G.... silly man, that is why Mr. Vick's invented Nyquil... or Johnson & Johnson created Tylenol PM.... :H How about this.... no nip, one beer, and one Tylenol PM... plus Allan Carr's book, "How to Quit Drinking".... well hey, if you are still awake, at least you are learning something !

Or you can try counting floating gigabytes....

Steady and slow. Patience. You can.[/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS](Betty Boop.... thank you for sharing your story. You are one of the backbones of this forum, but I never realized what a struggle you endured to become the strong woman that you are today. Much love to you, Betty B.... with a little squeeze to Tigger's tail :l)

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hello everyone

Coolgeek;301665 wrote:

I'll be working for 5 1/2 hours tonight at the package store. I get out at 11:30 and have to wake at 7:00 tomorrow morning. The only way to get to sleep is to have a nip of yukon and a few beers. If I try to go AF I'll lay awake all night long. I'm not trying to be a wimp and start with the excuses already...I'm just being realistic.

Selfish is my ex's middle name. You hit that nail right on the head.

Cool G.... silly man, that is why Mr. Vick's invented Nyquil... or Johnson & Johnson created Tylenol PM.... :H How about this.... no nip, one beer, and one Tylenol PM... plus Allan Carr's book, "How to Quit Drinking".... well hey, if you are still awake, at least you are learning something !

Or you can try counting floating gigabytes....

Steady and slow. Patience. You can.

(Betty Boop.... thank you for sharing your story. You are one of the backbones of this forum, but I never realized what a struggle you endured to become the strong woman that you are today. Much love to you, Betty B.... with a little squeeze to Tigger's tail :l)

[Noelle]

Hello everyone

Doesn't Nyquil have a good amount of alcohol in it? In fact, I know it does. I'm pretty sure it's 12% and I don't even have to look, that's how well I know. LOL It's one of the things that gets me going on the downhill track to drinking.

To myself I say, "Oh dear, I have a bit of a cold.....guess I'll have a couple of shots of Nyquil. And make sure it's the cherry flavor, I'm picky. I don't like that nasty green stuff!"


Do the Tylenol PM if you have pain.......if no pain, use Benedryl. Someone on here just told me that the ingredient to make you sleep in any PM medicine is the same as benedryl, so if you don't have any pain, you don't need the tylenol.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Hello everyone

Noelle;301705 wrote: Doesn't Nyquil have a good amount of alcohol in it? In fact, I know it does. I'm pretty sure it's 12% and I don't even have to look, that's how well I know. LOL It's one of the things that gets me going on the downhill track to drinking.

To myself I say, "Oh dear, I have a bit of a cold.....guess I'll have a couple of shots of Nyquil. And make sure it's the cherry flavor, I'm picky. I don't like that nasty green stuff!"


Do the Tylenol PM if you have pain.......if no pain, use Benedryl. Someone on here just told me that the ingredient to make you sleep in any PM medicine is the same as benedryl, so if you don't have any pain, you don't need the tylenol.

My bad, Noelle... truthfully, I have the Dayquil at home and just looked at it to see who made it... didn't look at the Alcohol content. That bugger sneaks in everywhere, doesn't he? Thanks for the correction....

[LVT25]

Hello everyone

Yes, please no Tylenol for anyone that drinks alcohol. Better options out there. We need to be careful what we take if our livers are compromised.