Day 1 AF

[elsie17]

Day 1 AF

Morning becoming me atlast, sorry you've been struggling on your 3rd day, I must say I didn't find it easy and barely slept a wink last night, still its 6am and I'm just beginning my 4th and I still feel hopeful. But I'm going to make it my priority today to pick up some supplements before the family troubles weaken me completely. It's amazing how a drink problem can creep up on you so quickly, but be so hard to quit. Any way you try and keep strong, in my heart I know I've got to give it my best shot and I feel you do to. Good luck, you@re not alone

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

Hey Elsie!

Woke up very early after a night of sweats...4:30am. Wonderful to read your words of encouragement to start the day! I am going to buy some supplements today, too. Today is day 4 and a new beginning. I will stay strong and whenever I think of that damn wine bottle I'll switch my mind to 3 days of AF. Thanks, buddy :l

[Palatia]

Day 1 AF

:goodjob:

WTG!! You two are doing great....

I think you're doing the right thing in trying to think of something besides AL.. if not.. then do!! Do something else.. think something else..

For me, if I start thinking about AL too much.. that's when I start imagining.. you know...

So I shut that off and think about the outcome I want instead. But it gets easier over time to do that...

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

OMG, I did it! Day 5 is under my belt! Hubby came home with beer on his breath, wanting to go out for dinner. Then he left to get more beer. I was saying to myself, "what the he**, have a few glasses of wine with dinner, he's already drinking". I knew if I did that, I'd buy a big bottle and bring it home. So, I didn't give in. It was really hard and the Calms Forte helped me a lot. Phew. I hope the rest of the supplements come soon...

[aceofbase]

Day 1 AF

keep it going

Five days in a row is awesome...good job...it will get ever so slightly easier each day...and if you think about the effort it took to get five days in you will be proud of yourself...you are worth your own effort and much more...the crave is a reminder of where you have been....not where you need to go.

Aceofbase

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

Tonight was the hugest test yet. My hubby and I are in a Sat night bowling league. I've never bowled without wine. One of the guys on our team drinks pitchers of beer...

The Calms Forte helped me a lot. I also brought a bag of almonds to munch on so I wouldn't get hungry. (Bowling alley food is awesome - 99% grease but I'm trying to lose weight.) I've gained about 30 lbs in the last two years or so from wine. I've also broken an elbow, sprained both ankles...but I digress.

I didn't drink wine but had cranberry juice with club soda. I got the idea from someone here. I bowled my first 200 game of the season (my second one ever)! What a wonderful gift and a great way to end a challenging day. I definitely bowl better sober. Duh.

Thanks again to all of you for your support and help. I love you guys :-) Good night.

[jole]

Day 1 AF

Hmm sounds familiar

Hi, I am new and I enjoyed reading your posts and I feel like I'm looking into a mirror! Wine is my thing and I drink too much of it too. Today is day 1 AF for me. Have a good evening. I'm so glad I found this site. I need all the support I can get. Take Care

[livingfree]

Day 1 AF

Way to go Becoming me!! You are sailing through these early days !! You will gain strength with each day! Proud of you!

Welcome jole! Keep coming back!

Liv

[jole]

Day 1 AF

Thanks for the welcome

Hi, this is a wonderful site. I have read a lot of the posts and I don't feel so alone and I have hope. I am so ready to quit but I'm worried about my "triggers" and social situations will be difficult at first. Have a good evening:l

[KateH1]

Day 1 AF

Becoming Me, Wow! I am so happy that you started right off by reading the book.......I waited two weeks before I ordered it. Then it seemed rediculous not to read it, I did and ordered the supps and after a couple of false starts, I am now nearly 90 days sober! This program does work. This board is a great support network! Keep going! It is so well worth it!!!

xx Kate

[The Londoner]

Day 1 AF

Becoming Me At Last

:welcome:

You have got such a positive attitude around what you are doing and have achieved 5 days AF, which is brilliant! I use the word 'achieved' quite deliberately, because that is precisely what it is! We are similar-I too was a heavy drinker for more than 30 years, "graduating" to white wine as my tipple of choice. As in tipple on and on until it all goes black and blank.

If, like me, you drank out of habit, I have every hope that you will get through this initial period and come out smiling the other end. I started with a 90 day AF stint, then outlined a plan for myself, where I would drink moderately within a framework of very regular AF periods, aiming for 30 days AF at a time. I have had another 30 days AF after Christmas. I am now AF again, goal is an AF April.

Whatever you decide to do, I strongly recommend that you stay AF for as long as you can, taking it day by day, benefitting from the wonderful support on this site. You are a fighter and we all love a fighter!

Definitely a case of If I Can You Can. I have never felt better, physcologically. Usually I feel pretty good physically too, but too much work has me run down this w/e. No matter! I am enjoying the quiet time indoors, a weekend to myself, with the husb away. Bliss.

Speaking of husbs, mine drinks too, but there has been a major shift since I opted for reg AF. It wasn't easy at first, but gradually he began to appreciate our changed life and had the grace to drink out of my sight. He was grateful as it meant he cut down. Let's face it, drinking (together/against each other) is not a romantic scenario, it hurts people both physically and mentally and it damages our health. Just know that in spite of the difficulties readjusting to AF/abstinenece/moderation, things can only get better, and I know from your posts that your strong positive approach will see you through!

I wish for you what I have, at this moment in time. I am never complacent about what is round that corner, but hey as I write to you and to anyone else reading this, I have got my life back due to abstaining from alcohol for lengthy periods of AF. No giving up. No guilt. We drank for a reason, until it became a loss of reason. We are now sober or wanting sobriety for a mauch better reason. A healthy and happy life.

Go for it ,girl! You deserve it! Win over your husband subtly by the changes in you-it is your best marital weapon! And hey if he keeps drinking, find some non-drinking friends to see more of, at this early crucial stage in your AF plan. I announced my plan to my husb and he honoured that and there was no (obvious) booze in the house-out went the chilled wine for 30 days-don't think I could have borne it in the early stages. Now I'm fine, if I am AF, I don't notice wine in fridge because I don't even fancy it.

Tell us your plan!


:h:hAnna

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...

Thanks so much, all! Your words of encouragement and support are more than I ever could have wished for :h

jole, be sure to get the MWO book, it's so easy to download it. I'm glad you're here with us. Please stay in touch, buddy. :welcome:

This afternoon, of day 7AF, was another big test. It's the first nice, sunny spring day we've had this year. The snow is finally gone. The first day of yardwork. It's also been, for the last 18 years, the day hubby and I would sit down with "a" nice cold (alcoholic) drink, sit in our Adirondack chairs, admire our hard work and plan our next yard moves.

I had to come inside. I was getting hungry so I gobbled two turkey sandwiches (pun intended). Now I have a diet caffeine-free soda and just took a Calms Forte and a Kudzu. I'm very sore from the work as I have become very out-of-shape. The worst in my life.

Now I'll lay down and read for a bit. Getting myself out of the yard, out of that chair, really helped. It took a good 15 minutes or so to shake the urge. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. Signing on here has helped, of course :l

Londoner! Thanks for the wonderful post! My original plan has changed. Originally, I was going to try to moderate from the beginning. I've decided to change that. I am going to be AF until our family vacation in San Juan on Saturday, April 12-19. It's been a very long time since we've had a family vacation and we're so looking forward to it. I am leaning toward letting myself drink in moderation there. I will know if I can do that or not. I know I will. (Come on, girl!)

I'm beginning to develop a plan for San Juan. First, the supps and CDs come with me! LOL I'm going to schedule family outings in the am (rainforest visit, horseback riding, snorkeling, etc) so that I can't/won't drink too much the night before. I know I will honor those committments.

The challenge for me will be the free happy hour at our resort. Yup, every afternoon from 5:30 - 7:30. With food. It's funny because before this MYO program I would have been looking forward to the happy hours more than any other part of the vacation. Now I have other priorities. The outings with my family. The sun and beach and water. A girls night with my daughter (alcohol-free). Working on my book. Maybe finishing my book? I plan on being prepared and enjoying this vacation to the fullest. That includes no hangovers, guilt, shame, blackouts, etc.

My husband has been limiting his drinking in the past few days. I'm pretty sure he was AF yesterday! You're right, Londoner, you're right. :hiya:

For now, I still need to do one day at a time. I'm so sore and so wiped out! But a good sore, a good wiped out. One hell of a lot better than a hangover.

[happy4once]

Day 1 AF

Hi BecomingMe -- I read your first post and was just taking a minute to check up on posts that had popped out at me over the past few weeks...nice surprise to see how yours is progressing -- what a wonderful story you have so far. Congratulations on Day 7 and the continuing positive attitude. Sounds like you are doing really great and I especially like that you have not stopped living - you keep doing the activities you've done before but are very strong about your need to change. Good for you!

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

Lean on Me

:band2::
To all my new friends:

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on.
Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.
You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me when you't not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need
somebody to lean on.
You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.
Call me ( if you need a friend)
Call me :l

~ From "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers

:armsaround::armsaround::armsaround::armsaround:

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1 AF

Using hubby as an Example - Bad Idea

This is not good. My son and I fell asleep this afternoon and I woke up at 7:30 pm. I woke him up, we didn't mean to sleep so late. Called hubby and he was just around the corner, at a neighbors house with our daughter. (He told us this morning he had dinner all ready for tonite. He was going to cook it last night but...well, he drank some beers and...) Said he'd be right home to start dinner.

Now, I know him well enough that if he's been at that neighbor's house, he's been drinking for a while. I also know "right home" could mean just about anything. I decided to take my son back to the store to return a pair of pants he got the day before. They don't fit and he's in need of a pair. I figured it would be at least a half hour before dinner and I could get this done and over with.

Hubby came in after 8 and was feeling no pain. Glassy eyes, red face, the whole deal. He said he was going to make dinner and I told him what we were doing and we'd be back before dinner was over. He got confused and mad and I tried to explain it to him. He seemed okay when we left.

When we got home, he was on the couch, falling asleep. No dinner cooked. My daughter made herself some soup and I brought ice cream home (she had called and asked for it).

Day 8 AF for me. What's not good is I started thinking how glad I am I'm not like "him". He's what I don't want to be like. This is true but it's not healthy thinking for a loving partnership. I'm making him the enemy in my thoughts! Not him, but the alcoholic him.

Went back out and got Subway for my son and I. Fresca. This tastes great and I just tucked my daughter in. Hubby's still passed out on the couch.

Any suggestions how I can not judge him or "use" him as an example of what I don't want to be anymore? When it's right in my face, it's kind of hard.