experiance needed!

[Hanacharis]

So it's day 5 for me on the program and I already fucked up! The book makes it sound so easy, like you follow the program and your instantly cured. That's what I was hoping for anyways. I went 4 days cold turkey and felt pretty okay about things; not great but better than normal. So I thought that I would test myself, like she did in the book. Funny, because I knew i wasn't ready, but wanted to be miraculassly better (like the book portrays). I thought I could stop at one, but I couldn't, so I had another martini. Then I came home, thinking two drinks isn't bad at all; if I can have two drinks a week, that would be fabulous! Then I was home for an hour an had to run to the store for a 24 ounce beer. I am reinforced that I don't want to drink tomorrow. But, I don't want to stop drinking for the rest of my llife! I chose this program in hopes that I would be able to moderate my drinking! Has anyone been able to moderate their drinking, or is just a hoax. Is it one way or the other?! Don't drink the re:new:st of your lie, or die of alchoholism?!

[Hanacharis]

experiance needed!

p.s. I haven't taken the topamox because I am scared of the side effects. Is that a crucial part? And how bad are the side effecs really?

[Dolly Sunshine]

experiance needed!

I believe everyone is encouraged to go at least 30 days alcohol free BEFORE attempting to moderate.I think the program is a great program and not a hoax- however it is not a magic bullet either. You get out of it what you put in. 4 days is comendable- good job- but not nearly enough time to break a habit.

[Guest]

experiance needed!

I know personally I can never 'test' myself. I tried 'controlled' and 'social' drinking many, many times over the years and know it doesn't work. About 7 weeks ago after 6 days without alcohol I shared a bottle of wine with a work colleague, drank slower than they did and thought "hey maybe I can do this". Within 48 hours I was drinking like mad again. Finally I gave up, booked myself into a rehab centre at my own cost (don't have medical insurance and NHS would not help me).

If you think you are alcoholic you can't drink. Full stop. Heavy drinker, well up to 3 months AF and you MAY be able to attempt controlled drinking.

[betty boop]

experiance needed!

Hi & :welcome:

The book is certainly not a hoax ..............

You have to really want to do it, and as the others have said do 30 days AF before moderating. Can't comment on the topa as I never tried it but I do take all of the recommended supps .....

All the best, BB xx

[Suzanna]

experiance needed!

It's not that easy Hanacharis but this program is a godsend! You still have to put in some effort in the form of willpower, and by taking the supps they help take the edge off the cravings, as well as engaging in exercise and the hypno. Should you need extra boost from the meds, they are what really controls the cravings, if you follow the directions and are under a doctor's care. Lots of us are not on the meds, so we have more cravings to battle, but it can be done, it just won't be so easy. :welcome:

[happydog]

experiance needed!

Hi Hanacharis,:welcome:

I'm afraid nothing is easy... we have to work at it if we really want to make it work. I been here since october... ok not done 30days yet but not giving up as well...I have more AF days under my belt since i have come here...Dont give up this is not a hoax....if you read through some of the posts there are people on this site that have made it and there are some that are moderating quite well.

p.s Do not test yourself out again until after 30days....wishing you Good Luck. Keep reading and posting.

Love

Teardrop.x

[memarcie]

experiance needed!

Hanacharis,
You said you aren't doing the topa, are you doing the supps, CD's, exercise? There isn't a magic pill to make us stop drinking. This program will give you a great set of tools to help!

Most of us do hit a couple bumps in the road!
Good luck and stick with it!

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

experiance needed!

Hana chris,
Welcome and ditto to above... I found this website on New Years Eve, because I had gone 30 days AF and I wanted "JUST ONE".... long story short, rather than drink the night away, I read, read, read people's stories here and did not drink.

You will find many successful stories here about moderation. In my opinion, there are dozens of people here that could, in theory, moderate~ but choose not to. The emotional energy to moderate drinking has to be focused and disciplined, and while being drunk is no longer the issue, every thought is dedicated to controlling your drinking. You cannot let your guard down when you choose to drink, but you CAN do it.

Maybe Chief will pipe in.... he is a chosen Abstainer. He articulates if very well, I highly recommend reading his posts.!

Betty Boop is a chosen Moderator, and her posts are very insightful too...

I definitely recommend 30 days being AF, no matter what path you choose. :h Good luck~

[notevergivingup]

experiance needed!

Hanacharis,

I'm no expert here, but some people just can't moderate, I know because I am one of them. I wanted to so badly and I do good for a long while, but then I'm right back where I started. So for me I need to just say Goodbye once and for all. I also heard somewhere it actually takes 90 days to form a new habit and break an old one. But if you can't go that long atleast wait the 30 days before trying to moderate, who knows maybe you'll change your mind and decide how much you love being AF before the 30 days is up. Well, anyway I wish you all the luck and I pray you find your way out.

Twosox

[lukalee]

experiance needed!

Hana,
You stated that you went "cold turkey". What does this mean? Are you taking the supplements? Are you listening to the CDs? I don't take the Topa, and I don't think that is absolutely necessary, but that was a part of RJ's program. You may have to find something to replace that. Are you taking Kudzu or anything else for cravings? You will need to find what is right for you. This can take a little time. But if you work at it and not give up, everything will fall in place. In RJ's book you see that she did not go cold turkey; she did a lot of research, time, and planning into creating her program.

[Scorpio]

experiance needed!

This takes willpower - it's not a magic cure. I have more AF days now compared to six months ago when I started. Don't beat yourself up either! In a few months from now (if you stick with it) you will be proud of what you have accomplished! Congrats on your AF days and welcome!!

[meditation mama]

experiance needed!

Not Happy Hour-Happy Life;302907 wrote: The emotional energy to moderate drinking has to be focused and disciplined, and while being drunk is no longer the issue, every thought is dedicated to controlling your drinking. You cannot let your guard down when you choose to drink, but you CAN do it.
~

I agree with this! I found that the time I spend controlling my drinking was almost all consuming. In the end, I just would give in and then drink far more than I should, feel horrible and the cycle would begin all over again. So, I have chosen to abstain.

First of all, day 5 has been proven, for some reason or another, to be a real bastard. I have also fallen on that day a few times. So know that going in this time. It is also a good idea to make sure you have a really good support plan layed out for the first few weeks. If you are like many of us, then you have a habit under your drinking; meaning even when you take away the alcohol you still have the "habit" of wanting to go through the motions. So, getting out of the way of yourself and those regular routines is a good idea for the first few weeks. Go to the movies, come here a lot, or do what I did, go to bed early! I think I went to bed at 8pm for the first week! Just stay away from your triggers. You know what they are.

Now, on the Topa, that is a personal decision. The side effects sound horrible, but I think there are many people who have found ways around them - me included. I do take Topa. But I have found great success by only taking 50mgs and I only take it in the evenings, so I have no side effects at all. Maybe a bit sleepy, but I find that actually helpful. There are many, many posts out ther on this, but feel free to start a new one and you will get people to help you out.

But I agree with the 30-day start. That is pretty much a must. You need that time to clear your head and clean out your system. You can decide from there what you want to do.

Good luck.. If you have the desire, you can do it.

Namaste,

MM

[Breez]

experiance needed!

Hi-

First of all-I hate it when I hear "I can never drink again". The fact of the matter is, yes you can. But for today you choose not to. Stop looking at the big picture because that is too overwhelming, especially for someone first starting out. Just start each day saying "today I'm not going to drink". It gives you the power.

What you put in is what you get out. People who know me here know that I tried to moderate for 4 years & then quit for another 4. These reasons for my failures: I can't moderate. Well, in the beginning I thought I could. Or at least I want to think I can but eventually within months I'm back to my old drinking habits. The failures in those 4 years for trying to quit: I really didn't want to quit. I had that mentality~"no, I can never have a drink again". And then that would bring me into a cycle of "well I moderated before but maybe I didn't try hard enough". And then I would have a drink after months of being AF and then I was back to where I was again. A dog chasing his tail. Or as my hubby told me "it was like putting my finger in a socket & getting zapped and then thinking well maybe next time I won't".

What FINALLY worked: wanting it mind, body & soul. I went to my Dr. We tried several things and he was the one that prescribed Topa. When I got home I googled Topa & found RJ's book. I looked at it this way: The side effects I had were(which for me lasted a week with the metal taste in my mouth, 2 weeks of tingling(pretty cool) and the forgetfulness was like having to remember something and it was on the tip of my tongue and that went away after 3 weeks). I'd rather have the side effects vs the endless hangovers, loss of hope, dissappoints, sadness etc. Now I'm finally living.

Phew-sorry that was long. I say if you want it bad enough you will try anything once. Throw yourself into wanting to live a new life. Don't worry about whether or not you can moderate or not (decide that after 30+ days). Trust me, I've seen people here who started the program in hopes of moderating only to find out they can't and those who found that they love their neww AF life.

I wish you success!

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

experiance needed!

Awesome post, Breez!:heart: