I need help!!

[It'sjustme]

hi again guys..i posted a bit of a blog yesterday about me, hoping that I would get better.t's not happening:upset: I thought today would be my first AF day but it wasn't to be. The hubby rang me at 5pm and asked what was for dinner.. told him loads of stuff in the freezer. got home, him sittitng on the couch in work clothes - checked the oven - nothing - checked the microwave - nothing.. asked him what is the deal with dinner and he said we were going out. dinner consisted of some chips cos me not hungry but had 4 glasses of wine. then when we left got another bottle of wine - thats gone.. now onto beer..PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO STOP THIS???

[Cinders]

I need help!!

ItsJustMe,

Wow.

First off, it sounds like you are married to someone who drinks and that is yet another challenge in this puzzle.

Secondly, it is quite simply not an easy path to stop. It IS hard, like anything worth doing in life.

Third, have you downloaded the book and looked into getting the supplements? Believe it or not, I thought it was all mumbo jumbo and was wrong, wrong, wrong!!! They help an amazing amount. The drinking and commensurate changes to our brain chemistry and the damage to our livers which means we do not absorb all the nutrients from our food all take a toll. RJ's program and the supplementation are a critical piece.

Fourth, Do you have a plan? How will you deal with situations like last night when you go out? Going to our old "haunts" even though my hubby doesn't drink is hard for me. My eyes keep wandering to the other tables with those lovely bottles of wine, the bar where people are sitting and chatting much more animatedly than those not drinking... Boy, do I notice those things. However, when I go out now, I ask the waiter if they have some sort of special sugar free AF drink. Lots of them do, and I get that. Within a few minutes of conversation with hubby, the rest of the world shrinks away and it is just us having a nice meal out.

That is what I mean by plans. We all have triggers. We have to identify them and figure out how to deal with them. In some cases, it means avoiding them completely, in other cases it means figuring out how to make them less painful.

Does your husband have a drinking problem? Is there anyway you could discuss having him not drink for a while around you? He may be pleasantly surprised how good he feels without the alcohol.

Others who have SOs that continue to drink can chime in here. My hubby does not drink, has never drank and would probably break someone's arm if they tried to bring alcohol into our home, his life has been hell because of my drinking and he is trying very hard to help me stay sober.

Read the book, take the supplements, talk to your hubby and make a good plan.

And, no, it is still not 'easy' but it becomes infinitely doable and my God, you will feel incredibly better without the alcohol ruining your mind, your body and your spirit.

Love,
Cindi

[tlrgs]

I need help!!

hi there..itsjustme ...you are the only one that can tell yourself when to stop.and only if you really want to . so all i can say is try harder to stay strong . learn to say no and say it as many times as you can. no no no no no no no allcohol .go look at a mirror and ask yourself questions. why what for how do i look . do you love what you see there in that mirror.well you are the only one that can make the change and change for yourself no one else .try these steps and i know it might be hard to want to see the real you. but they do work.... good luck and god bless

[trixietrack]

I need help!!

it'sjust me. ok it didn't work out last night. how about if you re-read cindi's post. and try again tonight, with the awareness that it has to stop, cause it's making you miserable.

it will probably be tough if hubby is bringing AL home. but at least try it gets easier every day.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

I need help!!

No, It's not JUST you.

It's me, too. It's Cindy. and Tlrgs (The Long Road Going Sober).... :groupluv:

Cindi, that is an awesome post.... while you may have lived in dark corners, you are such a hopeful inspiration to me! I Love you!

Plan.

Please remember, it took years to gradually to develop this alcohol issue. So even though we want to merely snap our fingers and make it go away, it's not that easy. You have to be patient with yourself.

If you read other people's experiences, you'll learn that the first couple of days are SO hard- mostly emotionally, sometimes physically, too. If knowing that it will be hard, but only for a short time, helps you cope... than keep that in mind, okay?

Decide tonight what your plan will be tomorrow. What will you have for dinner, if that is your trigger? Take something out of that freezer now, so you can cook it tomorrow... do you have any alcohol free drinks in your house? Lemons? Tea? Club Soda? Juice? Grape juice with club soda is refreshing, as is cranberry juice.

You've learned your lesson. Try not to set yourself up to fail tomorrow, okay, Just you?

Gentle hugs, :l

[Guest]

I need help!!

To sum up most of NHHHL's posting - "Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail".........

Bit like going on a diet, you stock the fridge with plenty of healthy food and don't go into the Bakery!

Another one to remember is HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - these are all trigger points. You may have been hungry approaching dinner time but your body wanted AL which then blunts your appetite since you have a quick energy boost from the boozy sugars.

My weak times are just before meals.

[My New Beginning]

I need help!!

Exactly what I was thinking UKBlond! It's like dieting. It took a long time to get overweight but we wish it would all just disappear in a week. Ahhhh,,,,,but it takes alot of WORK and its hard. Just like quitting the drink.

[My New Beginning]

I need help!!

NHHHL: Your avatar is a riot!!!

[Ripple]

I need help!!

change takes time and it is very hard work. when you are completely fed up you will do something. your asking, thats a start! :welcome:

[anxious]

I need help!!

My husband is a drinker too so I totally understand your problem. It is hard but it does get easier. The Kudzu really helps curb the craving and moderate. Still working on total abstinance myself.

[Scorpio]

I need help!!

HALT is so true! Hungry & tired are huge triggers! Have a plan. Here was my plan tonight:

While driving home I popped in my mouth kudzu & L-glut capsules. Then decided as soon as I walked into the door I would eat a spoonful of the walnut, chocolate-chip cookie dough I had in the fridge (was never a sweet tooth until I cut back the alcohol).. I savored the dough in my mouth and began making dinner. The sweetness made me forget about having a glass of wine and it was only 90 calories

Take it one day at a time and plan your evening out in detail! Welcome!