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Re: I understand

Well, at the very least, MWO keeps us focused on what we really want - to keep alcohol at bay in our lives. I have never talked so openly about this any where else. I think it helps to feel ok talking about our problem with alcohol. Yes, we will try and fail a few times, but just coming back to try again is HUGE. So many wise, inspirational and beautiful words written here. We will all make it - together - worlds apart - brought together by our common desire to better our lives. Each of us will travel a different road, but we will get there.
wellseasoned

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Re: Just starting my journey

Hello everyone...I just found this place today and ordered the book. I also ordered a copy of Seven Weeks to Sobriety which looks interesting as well.

I've been drinking a bottle of wine and a few shots of tequela or vodka daily for some time now. I used to function fairly well but I am now noticing that my brain doesn't function as well as it used to. I used to have a very sharp mind but not anymore. I am hoping I can somehow fix this through nutrition and cutting WAY back on my drinking.

I used to drink moderately but the last 10+ years have been tough and it has been a way for me to escape. I've known I've had a problem and usually wake up in the morning telling myself I'm not going to drink but by the afternoon forget all about that as I grab a couple of shots when I get home from a tough day at work. I always excused the drinking because I am from my mother is from southern Europe and drinking daily is the norm in her country. The people there start drinking in the morning and continue throughout the day.

My wife began studying supplements for alcoholism months ago and began giving them to me but honestly, I just wasn't ready. She said something to me the other day about how I have just been "escaping" for the past 10 years and it kind of hit me, I guess the truth hurts. So I began searching the internet for information the past few days. I guess I am ready to stop this, to stop escaping.

I am also concerned for my health. I have High BP, Chol, Rheum Arth and other issues. I know alcohol can kill me. I want to be here for my family. What a shameful way to die. I have an aunt and a cousin who died that way.

Like most, I don't like to talk about it. If my wife or anyone else brings up the subject of my drinking I try to get out of that conversation or steer it in another direction as soon as I can. The truth is, I like to drink...I have always liked the taste...I like it strong, not sweet. I guess the truth is I am sick and need help.

I don't want to take anymore drugs if I can help it and don't feel comfortable bringing it up to my doctor...that would be admitting I have a problem and would be a scourge on my medical record....I mean, I'd have to check that alcohol problem box on any future job applications or background investigations!

One of the things that brings me to this point is that I am retiring from the military in a few months and I will be in the job hunting mode soon. I've been able to ride on my reputation for quite some time in the military but that won't be the case soon and I know I am not functioning at 100%. I need help.

I did try some hypnotism CDs from wendi.com about a year ago. They helped for awhile but then I hit one or two of the sessions that just hit me the wrong way (religiously) and just stopped using them...

I've written a lot and I apologize but I guess I just need to get some things off my chest. I know I've got to stop, I am a shame to my family and myself. I used to be strong but the alcohol has made me weak and a poor excuse for a husband and father.

thanks for listening.
tony

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Welcome!

Welcome Tony! I wish you luck on this program. It has helped me when I am consistent with taking the supplements. That is the key; being consistent. This is a great place knowing you are not alone.......Molly

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Re: Welcome!

Hi Tony...and welcome! Man, from reading your post, I'm guessing we're alot alike. I too have some health issues...High BP, very high cholesteral, etc...

I've often wondered what additional harm I'm doing to myself by coupling the prescription meds that I take with the booze.
I feel my health deteriorating, but I'm actually amazed that I've held up this well, for this long...considering.
My doctor has no idea, and I too cannot bring the subject up to him, as I fear somewhere down the line it could effect my job.

I applaud you and everone else here for coming to the conclusion that you need to quit; And for the making the decision that you want to quit (or cut down).
I feel that I'm a step or two behind. I know what it's doing to me, and I for sure don't want to go to my grave because of it...But if I'm completely honest with myself... I still don't want to quit.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get hit with a lightening boldt (not literally I hope!!), and I'll feel that I want to quit.

I dunno. What do they call it? Baby steps?
Anyway, Hang in there Tony (and everyone else!!).
Tom

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Re: Welcome!

Hey there, welcome Tony. I'm not a guy, but I'm a Tom-boy...according to my Hubby (or anyone else for that matter!).
Tom have you checked out the Moderation boards? It's just a couple down from "general disscussion" & "just startin out". You might find some interesting posts...especially if you're unsure of which direction you want to go from here ...It's always good to wonder... Hugs, Judie

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Re: Welcome!

Welcome Tom, downhill, Demi, Tony!!!
Wow! Lots of newcomers with similar stories and echoing similar concerns.
I just wanted to say that many of us have been in the same situation, wondering what the heck we will do at night without the booze. I honestly did not know what I would do with my time:eek . Was averaging about a bottle of wine a day, more on wknds, WAY overdoing it a couple times a wk. to the point of oblivion. Was still functioning though! No one knew but my hubby and a couple close friends and family members. I am a professional and a mother of 2 children. (currently stay-at-home mom)
You WILL find something else to do with your time! You just have to take the first step and START. Whether you chose abs or mod... it takes a while to figure it out (I'm still working on it!). BUT drinking WAY less than before (approx half), with days where I have a drink or two or NONE and am completely content! I'm doing 1 wk of abstinance right now which I am looking forward to! Thought of that 4 months ago would have been like climbing Mt Everest!! There are people here doing much better than I am, so maybe listen to them, but I'm not near the train wreck I was!!
GOOD LUCK
Becca

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Re: Welcome!

Wow Rebecca...a day without a drink....hard to see that from here but I know I will. I wake up each morning thinking I won't drink but by the afternoon that resolve is gone and I'm grabbing a shot or two...let's be honest a few shots....after a tough day at work....it is good to find a place where there are people who can relate and understand....people who are like me in some ways...it is nice to know I am not alone....

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Re: Welcome!

It was hard to imagine for myself as well. I approach it one day at a time then it doesn't seem that overwhelming. If one day seems too much, think about not drinking for the next hour or the next 5 mintes. I'm on day 22 of abs this time and feeling great. I remind myself how great I feel without drinking, if I get the urge to pick up a drink. I have more energy, I feel better about myself, less depressed and I don't feel worthless all the time. All of these things make it worth while.

Best of luck starting this journey, if I did it anyone can!!

Marcie

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re Welcome

Ditto on your thoughts Marcie, I definately am taking this one day at a time, and sometimes an hour at a time, and sometimes I think if I can just get through the next five minutes even that is an achievement!

I have come to the conclusion that I am not 'well' enough to do moderation so am doing abstinence. I share a house with a practising alcoholic, and I think it is actually helping me stay off it because he stinks of grog all the time, talks a lot of rubbish when he's had a few, goes red in the face and generally makes a fool of himself.... that was me just a couple of weeks ago, and I have kids who were watching my disgusting behaviour. I used to think I had good control over myself when drunk, but now I know I was just lying to myself... as someone else said on this site, IT IS WHAT IT IS! Day 15 on this program for me, and day 7 without any grog at all...yeh!
Colleine

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Just starting my Journey

Just wanted to let you know that I too have just found this website and if it encourages you at all, keep reading the posts daily. I just told my husband that reading these posts has already made me think less about drinking. Its like when you finally admit there is a problem and you start working on it, the problem seems to get better.

Also, I believe in taking baby steps. For me, I can't think of terms of no wine for 7 weeks. Although, there is no reason to try because most of what I have read and heard has been to go abstinent for at least 30 days. Anyway, I have cut back significantly since just a few months ago. The thing that has helped me the most is to drink my wine about 1 1/2 hours before I go to bed which is 4 times a week. Waiting later in the evening has made me realize how much more I get done and how unimportant drinking is. My goal is to drink no more than 3 times a week/2-3 glasses at each time. Anyway, just thought I would share some of my ideas since it has helped me. I have not ordered the supplements, cds or book yet. I intend to order all that is recommended and also talk to my dr. about the topomax. I have heard so many good things about topomax.

It sounds like your wife is willing to help you get through this. So keep trying and you will have success.

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Re: Just starting my Journey

Igrose,
Good tip about delaying the drinking til later in the evening. The earlier I start... well, you know the rest!
Then what Marcie and others said about getting through the next hour or oven 5 minutes:eek , you do find things to distract yourself, then all the sudden, it's 7 or 8 pm, and you figure "it's this late, I can make it ALL THE WAY TIL BED TIME AND I DIDN'T DRINK TODAY''
Whoo Hoo! Clear head in the morning, smile on your face, motivation to do it again the next day even more easily.
I love that part.
Delay the drinking. Good one.
Bec