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    #1

    Day 1 and starting at least!

    Hi Everybody

    Hope you are all well. I am not hungover today, so I was able to buy topamax online and find this website. I have the book and am drinking a coke while I write this and just took my first Kudzu Rescue supplement. I promised myself on Saturday that I wouldn't binge again and found myself on Tuesday with a hangover that made me think I was dying again.

    I have tried and tried in the past to stop. So that's why I have ordered the drug Topiramate because I don't think I can do it without the drug. I am scared of my hair falling out but lets be honest my hair has started to fall out anyway through being so unhealthy.

    I will listen to one of the CDs before bed tonight and hopefully I can get my life back on track. All I know is that I am not drinking today. I am going out for dinner tomorrow night and my intention is not to drink. Fingers crossed. I will have to wait about 3 weeks till I get the drug and I am really AFRAID that I may drink before then.

    With Kudzu rescue, topamax, and the CD's, I know that it's just gotta work.

    Is anybody else taking or going to take topamax? At first I was against it, but now I realise I need all the help I can get.

    Hope you are all being strong, and a big hug
    Tags: None
    #2
    Day 1 and starting at least!

    Shelly,
    WELCOME and
    WOW! you have taken some HUGE steps in your plan to become free of the Beast! I might sugggest that you do yourself a favor and write down your goals, and your plan. Review it often. Don't be afraid to update it as required.
    :goodjob: on assessing your strengths and determining that you do need some supplimental assistance as you go forward.
    You mentioned going out to dinner..I used to drink a lot of wine when out dining, and now I order cranberry juice and soda. Has the appearance of a mixed drink, and the taste is good.
    If you are married, or in a long-term relationship, how does your S/O feel about your drinking and quitting? I found, as have some others on here, that the S/O or spouse was more than supportive..but some are not. Whatever the case, remember that you are doing this for YOU. YOU are the most important person in this battle with the Beast! You CAN do this, and with the steps you are taking, I am pretty confident you WILL do this.
    Be sure to post on here often, read the posts and you will find yourself over and over in other's words. If you are so inclined, get into the chat room and mix it up with some of us when you have a chance. It is also a good way to beat the witching hour!
    This site offers incredible support! It has helped me overcome a life-long addiction and can help you also. You might also look into one of the daily threads, I would suggest perhaps the April Showers thread! nice motivation in there! (sponsered ad..lol)
    Stay Strong!
    BHOG
    War isn't working. Let's try Peace!

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      #3
      Day 1 and starting at least!

      Thanks BHOG for the ideas.

      Going to buy a notebook to write a journal tomorrow. I am just coming out of a relationship but he is there for me when I called him yesterday and told him I needed help. He brought round a sandwich, water and coke, which I threw up later.... oh dear. So I am not in (fit to be in) a relationship and think it's better to have a holiday from the ups and downs that relationship caused in the past. He is not a problem drinker that's for sure but likes another drug, that I am no way into. I guess we allowed each other our addictions because we understood what it was like in a different way. But now I have to take the time for ME, like you say.

      I plan to post tomorrow night after I come home from dinner sober. That's a good incentive! Will have a look at April Showers thread and the chat room, thanks for the tip, really thanks.

      Comment

        #4
        Day 1 and starting at least!

        hi there..shelly. welcome stay strong and drink lots of water and stay busy you can do this good luck and god bless
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment

          #5
          Day 1 and starting at least!

          Shelly - come join us on our April AF crusade. I am taking Kudzu, L-Glut and Topo - have been taking Topo since Feb 1st and my hair is not falling out at all. I did not even know that it would do that. Gosh, if I had know I would not have taken the Topo. But the topo works. You will not even be able to drink that coke. I think it makes all carbinated beverages taste awful. Beer, champagne, whisky coke, all yuck

          Comment

            #6
            Day 1 and starting at least!

            thoughts for you

            Welcome Shelly - When I started the program 3 months ago - It took 6 weeks to get all the "supplies" in place (Book, CDs, supps, Topa) and so I started with only the CD's and the L-Glut. I went the entire 6 weeks AF (which was UN HEARD of for me ... I couldn't go one day in 10 years). I think "knowing" the "support" was coming helped me make it day by day. By the time the topa came - I probably didn't need it - because I was past the worst stages, but I took it anyway (insurance). I was on it for 7 weeks up to 100 mg. and just weaned myself off in the past week. I can't say it didn't help - because it does - but I couldn't live with the other side effects.

            So - my point -- knowing that the support is coming will help you get some AF days behind you. I can't tell you how precious it is to me knowing I went AF - before the topa. Otherwise I'm afraid I would stay on that drug against all Dr's orders for me!! Now I can go off it knowing that I was AF before it - and it helped me stay AF for the 7 weeks I was on it. Gives you lots of "options" for the future.

            You are in the right place at the right time. Just hang in here with us!

            Best wishes to you
            Liv
            AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


            Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


            (from the Movie "Once")

            Comment

              #7
              Day 1 and starting at least!

              who think I stayed AF?

              Hello Shells...is that Okay i call you Shells? :beach: Topamax..i take it and it has worked well..but was also on campral. You have ordered the proper tools to get you onto sobriety. The support here reinforces what you purchased. so keep coming and asking questions, thats what we are all about. :goodjob:

              Comment

                #8
                Day 1 and starting at least!

                Hi guys

                Well I didn't make it AF tonight. I had a cider and a shandy and a beer when I got home. Also ate a sandwich which has helped me not drink any more. I am going to put the kettle on and have a cup of tea and get into bed. It's not bad, it's moderation and I feel ok about it. I am a binge drinker and when it happens it happens big time! Tonight I don't have that feeling of a big binge coming on. But I never know when I first start if it's going to be a crazy night ahead of me more usual than not these days or if I can stop like tonight. Food is the main thing. If I eat enough I am ok.

                So still want to take topamax and get L-glutamine. The weekend is coming up and I hope I can drink moderately or be AF. Will wait and see.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Day 1 and starting at least!

                  you might give Kudzu a shot as well. It gets rave reviews. I take it in addition to the topo and L-Glut. It works great for me. Allows moderation.

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