Just starting my journey

[Guest]

Hello everyone...I just found this place today and ordered the book. I also ordered a copy of Seven Weeks to Sobriety which looks interesting as well.

I've been drinking a bottle of wine and a few shots of tequela or vodka daily for some time now. I used to function fairly well but I am now noticing that my brain doesn't function as well as it used to. I used to have a very sharp mind but not anymore. I am hoping I can somehow fix this through nutrition and cutting WAY back on my drinking.

I used to drink moderately but the last 10+ years have been tough and it has been a way for me to escape. I've known I've had a problem and usually wake up in the morning telling myself I'm not going to drink but by the afternoon forget all about that as I grab a couple of shots when I get home from a tough day at work. I always excused the drinking because I am from my mother is from southern Europe and drinking daily is the norm in her country. The people there start drinking in the morning and continue throughout the day.

My wife began studying supplements for alcoholism months ago and began giving them to me but honestly, I just wasn't ready. She said something to me the other day about how I have just been "escaping" for the past 10 years and it kind of hit me, I guess the truth hurts. So I began searching the internet for information the past few days. I guess I am ready to stop this, to stop escaping.

I am also concerned for my health. I have High BP, Chol, Rheum Arth and other issues. I know alcohol can kill me. I want to be here for my family. What a shameful way to die. I have an aunt and a cousin who died that way.

Like most, I don't like to talk about it. If my wife or anyone else brings up the subject of my drinking I try to get out of that conversation or steer it in another direction as soon as I can. The truth is, I like to drink...I have always liked the taste...I like it strong, not sweet. I guess the truth is I am sick and need help.

I don't want to take anymore drugs if I can help it and don't feel comfortable bringing it up to my doctor...that would be admitting I have a problem and would be a scourge on my medical record....I mean, I'd have to check that alcohol problem box on any future job applications or background investigations!

One of the things that brings me to this point is that I am retiring from the military in a few months and I will be in the job hunting mode soon. I've been able to ride on my reputation for quite some time in the military but that won't be the case soon and I know I am not functioning at 100%. I need help.

I did try some hypnotism CDs from wendi.com about a year ago. They helped for awhile but then I hit one or two of the sessions that just hit me the wrong way (religiously) and just stopped using them...

I've written a lot and I apologize but I guess I just need to get some things off my chest. I know I've got to stop, I am a shame to my family and myself. I used to be strong but the alcohol has made me weak and a poor excuse for a husband and father.

thanks for listening.
tony

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

Welcome Tony,
It sounds like you are in the right place. This program can really help if you are ready to make a change. I would suggest downloading the book and read. Also read many of the posts on this board. You will find many people who share your issues.

Marcie

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

Just starting my journey

Hi Tony/Marcie. Tony, I too am just starting and I agree with you about the doctor thing. I'm just too ashamed to go to my doctor. I've always had good health and been a "natural" freak while all the time scoffing down all those toxins in alcohol and sneaking the odd cigarette. This is something I want to do for me, me too, my blood pressure is up and my cholesterol up a bit and I'm just not functioning as I used to. I get puffed really easily and my weight is up. I want to be here for my family too and know that I could be doing a lot better than I am. Sometimes my daughters (all grown up and left home) would say something to me that we'd talked about and due to having been drinking that night, I could'nt remember the conversation. It was frustrating and shameful. But, even just after the few days I've been on this site, I feel better about myself. I haven't drunk, as said on other postings, for this being my 4th day, which doesn't sound much but is quite an achievement. I want to succeed and I've done this just while waiting for the package to arrive. Wow, once it gets here, I'll soar!!! Well, hopefully. I know there'll be tough times ahead - this weekend will be a bit hard as I'm going away with family and the following weekend up to Sydney for a few days, lots of eating out and I always LOVE a glass of red with meals, so the total abstinence thing will be hard, but I want to do it. I have to rush, have a job to get to shortly, but keep on the site and keep positive, everyone I have heard from are so supportive and amazing how you realise there are others that feel just like you and have done the same things that you thought were just things you did, the sneaking, lying and justifying! Talk soon. Sheryl

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

Hi Tony,

Welome to MWO! Glad to hear you ordered the book. While you wait for it to arrive, this site is a wealth of information and support for you! Read, and post, and get to to know your way around. If you go to the home page there is a link called "Important Program Updates". There you will find all the current information on the suppulments and their doses.

This program is amazing and really does work, but it does take effort and commitment on your part. I have been on the program now for eight weeks with great success. I am currently on 300mg of topamax, do the cds, take the supps, and exercise daily.

Welcome Tony, and best of luck to you as you begin your journey!

Donna

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

Hating myself

Thanks for your responses....it is so important to have folks who understand where I am....I am wondering....do any of you wake up in the morning just kind of hating yourself for your drinking?....I do....perhaps "hate" is too strong of a word but I am usually pretty pissed off at myself (excuse the french).....sorry but I am just beginning to come to terms with all of this...I've got to fix this problem....

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

Re: hating myself

I feel that way a lot. Pretty much every morning after I have drank the night before...every time I drink, I blackout. It doesn't even have to be "that much" (to me, not that much is like 6 beers?)...anyway, I just shudder to think of the things that I said to people the night before and the craziness I've put others through because of my drinking.

So yea, I know how you feel when you say you wake up "hating yourself".

[Guest]

Just starting my journey

hating myself

Hey guys, we've all been there. It's a mixture of shame, embarrassment and anger because we were so weak. And we all have resolves that it won't happen again, but it does! But, now that you are here, its time to let that go. As I've said before, we may all slip from time to time, maybe not, but if you do, don't get uptight and mad at yourself, that will bring up emotions that might even drive you to take a drink, just think of all the alcohol free days you had. It's a slip, not a failure. And so from now on go ahead, don't dwell on the negative feelings that drinking brings, just remember the positive ones when you are able to say, no thanks, no alcohol for me today. Keep reading the programme, read the posts and really motivate yourself to keep that positive high going that you get when you think of how great it will be to plan your life not around alcohol.