I'm a Newbie!

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

Working on Day 2

So, I'm up - courtesy of my son and his action-sound transformer.... I'm tired - didn't go to bed until midnight - but I feel much better than when I woke up yesterday hungover. So, I'll take my morning supplement cocktail - vitamin, amino acids, omega 3's, & glutamine + my daily effexor dose.... drink lots of water....
I miss my husband and can't wait until he comes home this afternoon. Then I'll have more of a distraction. My son misses his daddy, too. Whenever daddy leaves, my son gets very codependent, and wants to do everything with mommy, including sleep. It was nice to see his face early this morning crawling into our bed upstairs, rather than eventually finding me and wanting to snuggle with me passed out on the couch.:h
So, here comes the sun... do do do do.... it's alright :rays:

[Cinders]

I'm a Newbie!

Gathings,

Welcome to a new day, time with your husband and son and completely sober!!

Take it one day at a time and you are more than welcome to join us on the ODAT thread in starting out forum.

We also have several 30 day AF threads you can join.

I get into too many and have a hard time keeping up with all but we have lots of caring and compassionate people on MWO who really help me.

Take care and lots of strength,
Cindi
XX

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

Thank you!

Thanks, Cindi! I'll go check those threads out, too. It's nice to know I've got other people out there, especially those times when it's just me and I'm lonely (hence, more prone to listen to the temptations). Reading much of these threads has made me realize that I am not alone in my struggle, and that there are many wonderful people here for suppot and encouragement. :groupluv:

[matthen]

I'm a Newbie!

Hi Gathings -- have a wonderful day; today is the only day we have to stay sober, good luck.

[lynn]

I'm a Newbie!

hello everyone I'm new here and I'm willing to try AF life

...but I'm not doing so well. Had 2 days AF last week and blew it this weekend. Feeling ashamed and very disappointed with myself,however I will try AF again and hopefully make it past day 2.Thanks for listening. Lynn:new::new:

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

Welcome, Lynn!

:welcome: I've only been here for a day, now, and the kind words and support make all the difference! One thing I've already learned is to take it just one day at a time (ODAT). Just think that you're on the road to being AF as of today:h, and don't dwell over the weekend. We're all human!:l

I'm sending positive thoughts your way! Take a look at ace of base's story threads and some of the other friends threads in the Starting Out section. They'll inspire you!

[lynn]

I'm a Newbie!

thanks Just knowing I have support already makes me feel stronger


Lynn

[cmhguy3]

I'm a Newbie!

Gathings and Lynn,

Welcome, glad you were led to MWO!

Guy

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

10 hours later...

So, my husband is finally home, and I feel a sense of relief. Earlier, my son and I went out to do some shopping. When I got to Trader Joes, they were giving free winetastings in their awesome, super-cheap wine section. I felt my heart race and my stomach do flip flops as I had to maneuver my cart through that crowded section. It was really hard not to just give in to a little tasting - but I knew that I had just started on my AF journey, and I wasn't going to buckle under something like this.
Still, it made me all the more aware of how strong I am going to need to be in the coming days. When inside my house, the physical temptation is far far away (no alcohol in my house anymore!). It's going to be those things like eating out, grocery shopping, etc. that will test my will more than I ever imagined....
I want to feel good - physically and emotionally - and I don't, yet. :yuk: My head aches and my body's stiff and my throat is dry, no matter how much water or juice I drink. I know it's because of the effects of alcohol slowly leaving my body. I can't wait until I feel normal again!

[lynn]

I'm a Newbie!

congrats

congratulations you did great! Temptation is going to be a rough one to deal with! stay strong!


goodjob:Lynn

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

thanks everyone!

i met some friendly folk in the chat room which helped keep my mind focused elsewhere. now, i do finally find myself sleepy (without the aid of AL - :yougo. So, off to bed for a good night's rest and I'll wake up even perkier tomorrow!

on the path to day 3..... I wish you all good night! :h

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

Working on Day 4!!

Wow!

I can't believe that I'm on Day 4 today! Yesterday I didn't even have a chance to check in here - I left so early for work and by the time I got home I crashed! I was so sleepy, I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Towards the midddle of the day, I felt strong urges to stop by the store and pick up some wine on the way home... just remembering and longing for the relaxing feeling I would get.... but I talked myself out of it (in my head, of course! I don't want people thinking I'm crazy, now!:H). Still, it was hard to drive home without stopping... I kept thinking about the BIG picture... that, yes, the wine would make me feel good for a few hours until I woke up, and then I would feel like shit again, and the viscious cycle would continue... So.... "NO!" I told myself. I don't like feeling like that, and I've got to stay strong!
It made it all the more easier on me when I ended up falling asleep so early (no nighttime witching hours to worry about when you're asleep). I assume my body is still trying to gain back all that lost, unproductive sleep, and recooperate.
I woke up on my own this morning, without an alarm clock! Usually I hit snooze until the cows come home and my second alarm clock goes off, letting me know that I really have to get up this time. So, I'm leisurely getting ready (my husband's back, and takes our son, Max, to school on his way into work). I'll get to work early with plenty of prep time for the day ahead.
I will check back in this evening! Wish me the best of luck - and I wish you all the same! I look forward to hearing from you!

[Gathings]

I'm a Newbie!

can't sleep!

So, I guess I've finally reached the stage where I can't sleep. I'd normally be passed out on the couch right now - instead, I have a million things racing through my head... I thought about drinkning some nighttime tea.. but last night when I did that, I woke up to pee again and again.
This week has been hard without the alcohol, and work is tiring... I long for the weekend, but then get a bit scared, because that's when I'd drink in full force (like 2-3 bottles of wine instead of my average of 1 per weeknight).
I guess I'm just feeling a bit down right now. I keep trying to pep myself up, like "Yeah! you made it to day 3.. Yeah! You made it to day 4...." Tomorrow will be day 5, and I guess I was expecting to feel instant purification - instant results... although now I know that it's unrealistic... those results take longer to show...
...and I'm already worrying about this wedding that my husband and I are supposed to go to April 19th, which I know is a ways away... I just keep playing over these possible scenarios - can I make it through the whole reception with just soda and iced tea? should I have just one drink? or will that spiral me back down to where I was at day 1 again? if the temptation gets easier to resist thelonger you go AF, why should I put myself in jeopardy by even considering to have a drink at all? will my husband be dissappointed? i mean, we're all human, right?
one day at a time... i'm waiting for the book and the CD's. Hopefully they'll come tomorrow! I feel like I'll get some answers then... be enlightened...
i've bit my nails down to the point where there's nothing to bite anymore. i'm not normally a nail biter. i'm overanalyzing everything right now..
Wow! it's 1:30 am and I need to get up in 5 hours! I need to go to sleep! Man, the last 2 nights I literally fell asleep with such ease - so why am I having problems tonight?

[TraceyO]

I'm a Newbie!

Hi gathings. congrats on day 4 and day 5 tomorow. i've also had difficulty sleeping after drinking some teas, in particular "sleepy time tea" It seemed to have the adverse affect on me. For some reason it always made me adjitated even in my non drinking days. May need to switch to a different tea. Or it could be withdrawal. in any case keep up the good work. We are all rooting for you LOL TraceyO Ps It may help discussing your fears about the upcoming wedding with you hubby.. you know so you can have a strategy together.. don't be alone in this struggle. We're all rooting for you!

[matthen]

I'm a Newbie!

Good Morning Gathings

Your great discription of your struggle is so very familiar; sounds like me with a different life circumstance. I am going to a big event on the 4th of May and the only difference between you and me is that I KNOW that if I have 1 drink I will be gone again -- a week of drunks, at least. But I am only on day 7, so I am not authority on staying sober. :goodjob:But I am an expert on how to stay drunk. Go for it, you are doing great.