I can't handle this

[miim619]

amidst me trying to get myself in line and things under control. My husband is threatening ending the two and a half year marriage, the 11 year relationship. I have never wanted to self medicate more in my life. This is so hard. The only thing keeping me half way sane is my 19 month old beautiful baby girl. I just have never had astruggle like this ever. wow, :upset:

[jinja]

I can't handle this

Hi Miim - I'm doing this on my phone so I hope it doesn't go wrong!

Firstly, I'm so sorry as this is obviously a major trigger - I'm in similar-ish situation. Is yr H wanting to split over problems with drinking, or other personal stuff? If iit's the former, cau u talk to him & explain that you are trying & his support will help to give you strength etc.

Are you taking any of the supplements & doing CDs? I can only suggests to hold strong & keep going for YOU!! What will happen will happen & you need to be in a clear space for both your sakes (you & your daughter)

Good luck!! & talk lots.

take care
xx

[owlet]

I can't handle this

Miim
I remember when you first posted last week. This must be so difficult My heart goes out to you. My best suggestion would be to remember that you are trying so hard to help yourself with your drinking problem. If your husband can't be supportive now, then you must muster the strength to do it without his help. Remember that your little one needs you now more than ever - babies can sense tension. Don't give up and don't give in - PLEASE, you deserve to be happy and healthy. If you haven't ordered the meds yet, see if you have a store called The Vitamin Shoppe in town. I think it's a franchise. They carry the brand of kudzu that was recommended in the book initially(Solary, I think, or something like that). Anyway, I really think it helps with the cravings. I've been taking 3 of the 150 mg three times a day, and have been able to cut back (but not stop completely - maybe a day here or there). Any help is good, right?
Keep in touch
Love, Owlet

[jinja]

I can't handle this

Hey Sweetie, hope you're OK?!

I read back on your threads - you mentioned low self-esteem. Do you think post natal depression is also triggering your drinking? Hindsight is 20/20 vision & I can clearly see where it effected me................... 'my poor, beautiful baby getting me for her mother' etc ....................... inadequate and poor support from gyne - drugs & more really crap drugs.

If you feel bad about yourself the AL will only make it worse.

You are a beautiful, capable mother!............the treasure you are given to nuture and love has been chosen for you!!.............. to teach you love and compassion..........you deserve the joy that she brings to you!!! Take it & seize it.................if it is the only thing that gets you through the day, that is good enough!!

Further................... where are you???? Can you try AF?? At first I was terrified!!!! Truly thought I couldn't cope. 1st night wan't too bad - need lots of distraction!!! Books, computer games, MWO - talk - talk - talk, etc Maybe after some clarity you can see what you need?!?

Please keep in touch.

Take care
XXX

:h

[miim619]

I can't handle this

jinja;306216 wrote: Hey Sweetie, hope you're OK?!

I read back on your threads - you mentioned low self-esteem. Do you think post natal depression is also triggering your drinking? Hindsight is 20/20 vision & I can clearly see where it effected me................... 'my poor, beautiful baby getting me for her mother' etc ....................... inadequate and poor support from gyne - drugs & more really crap drugs.

If you feel bad about yourself the AL will only make it worse.

You are a beautiful, capable mother!............the treasure you are given to nuture and love has been chosen for you!!.............. to teach you love and compassion..........you deserve the joy that she brings to you!!! Take it & seize it.................if it is the only thing that gets you through the day, that is good enough!!

Further................... where are you???? Can you try AF?? At first I was terrified!!!! Truly thought I couldn't cope. 1st night wan't too bad - need lots of distraction!!! Books, computer games, MWO - talk - talk - talk, etc Maybe after some clarity you can see what you need?!?

Please keep in touch.

Take care
XXX

:h

Thank you for the encouragment everyone, really. We have a counseling appt today and I am extremely anxious.

I don't think any post-natal depression has triggered drinking. Honestly I don't like who I am with him. I just can't seem to break away. I have been intertwined with him since I was 15 (now 26). I think I am slowly starting to see I don't really know who I am. I will check back in later

thanks again

[jinja]

I can't handle this

[QUOTE=miim619;306853] I think I am slowly starting to see I don't really know who I am.


Ditto that!!! More time AF does help, but it's your journey. Your time of self discovery. Take it slowly - it wont happen over night.

Go well & keep strong.

Take care
xxx

[IAD]

I can't handle this

Miim,
This sounds like thier is more than booze involved in this problem !?! Give me some more info on your situation ! Maybe we can help ....IAD !

[lillyatter]

I can't handle this

YES,what IAD said..

Please,more info,I would love to try to give any help I might be able to...I seem to have been thru EVERY POSSIBLE marriage trial and tribulation,LOL..not really something to LOL about,really....But I am awake for a while!Oh,what a lot of hard things to deal with ALL AT ONCE ...:l:l

[lillyatter]

I can't handle this

Oh,and MIIM.MOST IMPORTANTLY!IF I MISS YOU TONITE,you can TOO ,handle this!!!!!!!

:l:l:huggy:,:huggy:!!!!

[lillyatter]

I can't handle this

How are you tday,Miim?

[lukalee]

I can't handle this

I understand Miim. I was with my ex from 15 to 30. It's like we don't have our own identity when we are with someone at such a young age. You will make it through this!!!!

[lillyatter]

I can't handle this

Oh,Miim..Reading thru everything again today...I have not been thru THIS particular struggle since before married-Although sometimes feel SOME familiar pangs -I hope you dig DEEP inside of that STRONG ASS body of yours-(you DID carry-have-nourish--and are now LOVING a BABY GIRL-whether you see it that way or not,girl-YOU HAVE STRENGTH-MORE THAN YOU KNOW,YET...),and find the girl that was there before ANY MAN came ALONG and promised to be your night i n shining armor and make it all better..(Hmmm..More issues of my OWN than I may THINK,LOL!!!)....This is about YOU and your BABY girl....Please don't worry about a guy.Yes,I worded your beloved husband as a guy.I will at this point forward also look at my husband,UM,my BEST FRIEND of 11 YRS as ,a guy.Why?wELL..I just realized why.If we worry about THEIR reactions,keep caring about what THEY think,keep waiting for THEIR support,Holding out for the day when THEY are ready to stand by us,well.....It may NOT happen!!I don't want to sound pessimistic,because,hey!MAYBE,it will!AWESOME...THANK GOD!!But...If it doesn't,you and I still have ourselves and I don't want to say more importantly ,but some would say, our BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN to worry about.Now,before anyone ANNIHATES me for my last comment...I only mean...That it has never done it for mE personally,anyway,to have someone say simply,"oh,but if for only for your children..."...Um,YES...My children ARE my #1 priority!But...WE are dealing w/ a selfish sickness here....So it has to start w/ YOU!DOing it because you love YOURSELF!Not trying to be the pretty ,healthy girl your hubby fell in love w/ (done that.Wasn't enough inspiration for ME!),Not doing it because your mom-in-law is you feel "judging you-based -upon-your-drinking"-For YOU,MIIM!!EVERYTHING else will fall into place!I am still on this rickety road myself,but I do know that what I have just said IS TRUE!!

BEing a MOM is SSSOOO HARD!!!Please....LOVE yourself....give yourself credit for coming here and asking for help...for goodness sake...how many people even do THAT?You are taking the first steps!!!You are gonna make it!Please stay here and keep posting and reading!You don't understand hom MUCH it can and WILL change your lIFE!!!!REALLY!!!!!:l

[lillyatter]

I can't handle this

Did counseling go how you were hoping?

[readytotry]

I can't handle this

Remember....for better or for worse....ask him to help you through the worst. Alcohol won't help...I've tried that. So glad you're getting counseling. I have been through such bad depression and things always get better somehow. We care about you and your family.