hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

[matthen]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Hey Karl

Just checking in to see how you are doing today. I am in Alexandria, Virginia, just outside of Washington DC. And you are in Austrailia. Funny such a big world and so many of us struggling with the same monsters. Lots of us care about you and would like to help if we could. So Let us know how you are when you can. :thanksbubble:

[BecomingMeAtLast]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl.

Therapy saved my life. You are brave for taking that step. I'm proud of you. :l

[matthen]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Hi Karl -- hope you had a better day, pulling for you. did you get to talk to anyone. good that you are reaching out -- seems to be a good way to find some quiet and safety; peace.

[Karl1981]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

hi all sorry i havent been on in a while. 18 days today and, feeling not so good. i wish i didnt stop drinking and the girlfriend left me at the same time.. BIG mistake.. im going ok, on being AF. i have now got Campral for the drinking prob but not trying to take them.. i want to do this on my own. on my terms.. the only thing im going to take is the valium, as the depression is killing me.. i went to the councler and she said that i was going through some really hard times. especially doing these two things at the same time.. she was very nice and easy to open up to.. ive made a lot of mistakes in my life. and im sure ill make a lot more.. but one thing i can say is giving up drinking or trying to moderate after my 30 days is a start right??...

I know this is a Af site. but boy you are all so caring i like to talk about going through both drinking and the ex. there kinda of mixed together for me.. sorry if this is not allowed here.. i just have no one to talk to about it all..

you are all my new friends and i am so thankful for everyones help and advice.. its getting my through this really tuff time in my life.. i really hope things get better for me..

I want to write my story in the area where your spose to but i find it hard to remember dates times, things ect.. Plus it brings up a lot of pain

karl....

[Cinders]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl,

Thank you for posting and letting us all know how you are doing.

I am glad you started with a counselor and have begun figuring out how to heal and get over your depression.

You are more than welcome to discuss your problems with us. We all do that, it is part of our healing and our journey.

The Campral is only to help you with becoming abstinent. I am not sure why you want to "do it on your own," but it is your choice. Lots of people on this site take Campral to help them. For many, it does wonders. Its purpose is to help your brain get over some of the things that alcohol has done to it faster.

Take care and be strong. You will find that beating alcohol out of your life will only end up making you feel better and better as the time goes by. One day you will wake up and realize that your life is better!!

Love and strength,
Cindi
XXIX

[Karl1981]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

i really hope things do get better in my life.

At this point of time nothing seems to matter to me. im just here to breath, work and be depressed.
theres this little voice in my head telling me it wasnt the Drinking that was the problem it was my personality. and quitting drinking isnt going to do anything.. maybe im just one of those people who wern't meant to 'be happy' 'be successful' maybe im just a Oxygen thief. a pointless person with no hope just here to suffer through out life. or worse take the pain away. im 18 days in i just don't feel any different. if anything i feel worse, sure the mornings are better not waking up hung over ect. but nothing else is changing. i just have lost all hope with my life. im going no where fast. and very scared on whats around the corner.

i just don't know how to put it into words. its a feeling i have inside my heart that is so painful. so much pain. its unbearable every waking hour. the question is, how to stop this pain. how to make it go away. i just dont have the answer and neither does the Counselor. sure she told me ways to try to over come it when im feeling depressed ect. which does help a bit, but how do you stop the depression in the first place.

sorry all to put this on you..
Sure things seem clearer but not really for the best..
karl
(in a bad place in life)

[Cinders]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl,

I understand. I have been to those places in my lifetime, too.

The ups and downs of life come and go.

Life without alcohol is better than life with alcohol for all of us. It is funny you have tried to separate your personality from your drinking. Your drinking is part of your personality. You are letting go of a bad part of your personality!!

You have two things you are dealing with, 1. being AF - hard enough all by itself 2. re-evaluating your whole life due to the break up with your gf.

You are grieving two losses at the same time.

Let the normal process of grief go on and gradually you will get better and better.

I will bet that a year from now, when you look back, you will find it hard to imagine how helpless and useless you feel right now. Your life will have evolved. Remember, we are never stagnant beings, we continue to grow and evolve throughout our lives. Even my 84 year old parents change and grow. It is amazing!!

I have a good friend on this site who went through horrific times in the past. She told me, "some days the only thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other and keep going."

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and one day when you look up, you will be somewhere else and happy.

Love,
Cindi
XXIX

[Ripple]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

well dear if thats YOU in the avatar all i can say is there is a bit of devil in your eyes..does your mother know you are typing this right now! call her and tell her you are upset like this. thats what mums are for..go to mummy and get some kisses and affection...slways reach to family first in time of need...auntie, uncle..let someone know you are desperate.

[Karl1981]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

ripple what does a bit of devil in my eyes mean? im confused. pls be honest
yeah im telling her a little not too much though dont want to worry her.

[Ripple]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl1981;310232 wrote: ripple what does a bit of devil in my eyes mean? im confused. pls be honest
yeah im telling her a little not too much though dont want to worry her.

confusion is a normal response for myself. that is MY most honest response. it gets better though, i am finding that out day by day. you will too, give it time. time is what it takes. hope you feel better. XXO i am mother..who gives hugs daily to people in my life. here is a hug...:l

[Laurav]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Hi Karl,
I am sorry that you are going through such tough times. It kind of reminds me of when I went through my divorce. Even though I was the one who wanted it, it still was very painful. I was extremely depressed.
Have you seen your Dr for the depression? Depression can be quite a trickster and can mess with your mind making you think things that just are not so.
Hang in there buddy, we are here for you.
((Hugs))

[Jaded]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl..Hang in there things will get better...I know it's hard..I've been there too and I was devistated to say the least. I know you are hurting my advice to you is what helped me...Don't drink, exercise..walk or whatever..stay busy..I went back to school and that was the best thing I could have done because it kept my mind off what I was going through and I had to concentrate on passing the next test. I did start taking AD's which helped a lot. But exercise really, really helped...I would walk around the neighborhood every evening. It helped clear my mind. I also went to the gym.
These are just suggestions ...everyone is different. I couldn't set still ..I had to keep busy.
Hope this helps.
Hang in there..we are all pulling for you and awaiting to hear how you are doing.

Hugs..Jade:h

[tweezy]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Day 18

Hey Karl
I was day 18 yesterday (Monday) AF, same as you?
At times through these days Ive felt like I had enough of life, suicidal thoughts ,actually pretty weird scary thoughts. But I have to remember why Im stopping the AL. I was really losing the plot,violent ,work ,relationship and health problems, so even though Im still depressed sometimes its better than ending up in jail or dead.(most of the time).
If youve broken up with your partner then I guess alcohol was a problem in the relationship, as it has been in mine. So maybe youll come out of this a much better person to be around.
My missus has put up with hell in the last few years ,(I dont know how...) but at the moment shes very happy in the change ,even though Im still moody.
And 26 is a great age to be .
Catch U later Canetoad.:teeter:

[juli86]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Karl, I'm sorry to hear you're in such a bad place right now. You mentioned you've tried the Campral, etc., and I'm wondering if you've tried the other supplements....the B Complex vitamins in particular. You can find them in most every drug store or health food store, and they can make a world of difference in mood, thinking, and emotions. That's not to say it's the cure for a broken heart, but I'm hearing you say that you're having some trouble concentrating, remembering, etc. Please give it a try, and take them with food. Hugs to you!

[lillyatter]

hard times never left. just were DISUISED day 11-13 AF

Hi Sweet KARL...

Funny....I Had read all of the posts and was getting ready to respond when I came to Ripples....I agree w/ whoever said to not take it negatively-She always injects a strange sense of humor into things,(And means nothing negative !)I just NOW ,tONITE,saw your avatar finally,and was actually thinking what a BEAUTIFUL look you have to your face and ESCPECIALLY your eyes....A very soulful,HONEST,thoughtful look :h....


MAYBE~correct me if i am wrong,you are a person like me,who is (well,at least from what I gather from others,as I don't know if some of us are really able to appreciate ourselves completely for how wonderful we truly are ),you are not giving yourself enough credit for what you have accomplished and are still focusing a bit too much on the things you still see as "NOT GOOD ENOUGH?"I am going to pm you right now,PLEASE check it,as I do not want to come across wrong in my post here,I have a feeling my words may come across as snotty or something as such....However- I do believe that I have an IDEA of what you are feeling....I am really proud of you ,KArl!!You have been a SUPERSTAR!!!Especially now that you have shared your feelings ,that you're not even feeling better for being sober,yet.I agree w/ EVERYONE here,there are other things at play,such as depression,possibly,maybe vitamins/supps needed to replenish your body-brain.....You are going to be just fine,in fact,MORE THAN FINE@!!!Just stick w/ us ok?????It is perfectly fine to talk about life issues outside of the f-'in AL monster struggle...Look allo ver the boards!!!There are at least as many posts about life after AL as there are about "Getting off of Alcohol"...That is the easiest step for many!We love you and are here for you honey,so you just stick around and talk all you want about WHATEVER yiou need,OK???:huggy: