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[4tops]

And not sure if I belong. I like my wine. I'm not afraid to say it. I don't think it's negatively affecting my life, but it bugs my husband a bit. Worst things that happen are occasionally forgetting a few details, minor headache, and maybe 2-3 times a year, a hangover that sucks. I only drink wine (I know it's al. too), but not hard liquor, and usually 3-4 glasses a night. Every night, most of the time. Stopped completely when I was pregnant (which was 4 times), and slowly worked up again following. I still breastfeed our one year old, but he nurses before my evening drinks. My husband thinks it's too much. And I respect him, so I'm trying to look at this with perspective. I don't crave it all day, but when 6 pm comes around, and I've been home with the four children (who are homeschooled), alone, all day, with very few breaks, it really eases the tension. I do want the buzz, not going to lie about that, but I'm not looking to be out of control. My husband is trying to lose some weight, and says that when I drink, then he does, and then he eats poorly, has a headache the next morning, and just can't get to the gym. I want to support him, but don't know if I want to say, hey, you're having too much is not MY fault. My parents don't drink. If we have dinner there, I'm fine without it. I just don't know what is too much, what may harm my body, etc. I haven't felt I CAN'T quit, because I've not been interested in quitting, really. Except when it comes to matter of weight control, or gee, I could be saving that money. Or if my husband is frustrated. Any input is welcome.

[matthen]

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oh wow -- i just don't know

I am new here and AF only 6 days. It is so hard to pin down what is and is not an alcohol "problem". I have to confess that I negotiated with the definition of whether I did or did not have one for much too long. I think that it would have been much easier for me to realize much earlier that I liked it in a way that was not making my life better. I continued on drinking till I had to realize that alcohol was making my life painful. Although I fortunately do not suffer DT's, etc, I am now sure that I fall squarely into ANY definition of alcoholic.

Years ago I expressed confusion to a recovering alcoholic as to whether or not I should or should have to stop drinking. He said to me, if you are not sure now, well, just keep drinking and one day you will be sure. Well I did keep drinking and now I am sure. With all love I would say that you are somewhere along the way -- but as I said, I just don't know.

[Lucyxxx]

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5 days...

hi, well its my 5th day of being AF, found this site, so will now spend time finding my way around it as opposed to drinking the time away.

[LVT25]

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Hello 4Tops,
I think it's always best to quit or moderate for yourself..if you don't want to, I don't think it will work. I guess if I was asked to quit in order to support my hubby, I would, and if I couldn't or started sneaking, then I would worry.

I think it would be helpful for you both to read the MWO book.

I don't want to start anything, but did your hubby quit while you were pregnant 4 times? Mine didn't, and it was harder I think, also couldn't wait to start in again when it was over!
Just a thought....

[happydog]

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Hi 4Top.:welcome:

You have come to the right place here... if you want to quit drinking or just moderate your drinking... You will get lots of support keep reading and posting it does help...Maybe this is the right time for you to support each other if it bugs your husband...
I to drink every day..i thought i never had a drinking problem, like you... i like the buzz...(yes and dont crave it all day but need that drink by 6pm.)

wishing you lots of luck.x

Love

Teardrop.x

[4tops]

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LVT, Each time, my husband quit with me. He'd occasionally have a beer, which I hate, so I didn't care. Others, thanks for weighing in. It's something to think about. Any other input still appreciated...

[Palatia]

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Hi 4tops...

For starters, even though your baby only nurses before you drink, whatever you drank the night before will be in your milk the next day. I know you don't want to hear that... and I'm not trying to guilt trip you, it's just the facts.

Just my story/viewpoint: I never craved during the day. I could change the time I started drinking in the evening, whether it be 7pm or 8pm, usually never later than that. It's not really what time of day I started, but whenever I started, I wouldn't stop until I had More than a buzz.. I had to be drunk. I also didn't drink the hard stuff... I drank 'near beer' (3.2%) and thought it was less than I used to drink... haha... it can still get one drunk.

I guess you might want to think about.. if you can stop whenever you want.. then why not stop to support your hubby from drinking... and if it really isn't a prob, then that will be easy. AS someone else said here, if you don't want to.. you probably won't. It's all a matter of choice.

Good for you for pursuing your options and thinking about it... :welcome:

[Sunbeam]

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It is very good that you are worried enough about this to be here. It seems you are feeling like the wine is gaining control over you at times. Not a good feeling - we like to be in charge of ourselves. Maybe you want to consider taking a 30 day break from drinking. It will put you back in charge.

That "trigger" time of day is common among us.. Change your habits, adopt another beverage, but make sure you still give yourself a break the way you do when you drink wine.

[matthen]

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For "normal" drinkers whatever that is, I understand alcohol brings some added pleasure into their lives now and than. 4tops, it really does not sound like AL is a source of pleasure in your life as much as a source of trouble. If it were a cat causiing all this trouble, you would throw it out? :welcome: