Wine is my treat

[4tops]

It's just that I can admit wine is my treat at the end of the day...all the laundry, keeping the house clean, the children (who are great), the baby, all the stuff is so much, and so constant, that wine has become my reward. I don't want to quit it, mostly, except to prove to my husband that I can. And then as someone commented from my "brand new" post, that probably won't work, it it's not for ME. Why not just do it for him, to support his weight loss? It pisses me off somewhat, that I am here all day, every day, doing what I do (by choice, but it's hard!), wine really helps ease the end of the day, the baths, chaos of dinner, etc...and he's out there, having nice lunches, getting showered every day, meeting people, and taking on new challenges. I wouldn't trade, I just don't think he understands what constant pressure and stress I'm under, and I don't think he should begrudge me the wine. I've never not done something I need to, never been unavailable to the kids, never hidden it. I admit I've forgotten a few details now and then, but hell, I do that during the day, too! I don't know why I'm here, I suppose. I just am fleshing this all out.

[Accountable for Me]

Wine is my treat

Ahhh... I can soooo empathise with you. I decided to stay home with my daughter for the first two years of her life (approx) and did all the remedial, chaotic, never ending, daunting, BUT somewhat rewarding day to day stuff to.

I was drinking (more so than you), but it was my 'reward' somewhat as well. I was lonely. No matter what, our kids can't give us that adult interaction or freedom.

I don't have any solutions for you. I just wanted to let you know that I have been there, and know how you feel.

[trixietrack]

Wine is my treat

hi 4tops
so how much do you drink?

do you pass out, blackout and do strange things or say the wrong things when drinking?

is it affecting your health?

do you only drink to solve your personal problems?

or do you actually enjoy wine and drink it to celebrate?

if you are only doing this for your hubby and he has asked so he could lose weight maybe that is

something you need to look into. just my thought.

having a glass or 2 maybe 3 during the course of the night with dinner to relax is ok.

does he drink?

be well. I also drink wine and beer to relax some evenings.

welcome

[4tops]

Wine is my treat

I drink 3-4 glasses of wine, every night.

I do not black out, don't think I ever have. I have passed out a few times, ever. Maybe half a dozen over last couple of years?

I do not think it is affecting my health, as I feel good, work out almost every day, am losing weight right now (13 pounds in 3 months, not fast, but good, only 15 to go). I certainly can't SEE my liver...

Do not drink to solve problems, but to escape, dampen the noise, the tension of the day.

I love wine. Drink for the taste, to celebrate, to relax, to "let down", for the buzz.

He drinks about like I do, but seems to feel worse in the AM, and lose his resolve to eat better...it just bothers him that we drink this amount daily. He says we should save it for the weekends, I say he wouldn't say that if he did my job all day!

Thanks to everyone...

[MELLOWMOMMA]

Wine is my treat

I empathize

Staying home with your little ones IS HARDER than working outside the home; I've done and am doing both.
Life is sooo stressful just in the day to day Not being able to drink wine a night scares me how will the tension cease? I've tried a little MM (marijuana maintenance) it helps somewhat. At least I can be moderate and there is no hangover
But that still doesn't address the underlying cause of why extremely sensitive people like us need to escape
I do feel drinking is only a symptom of our REAL problem Not that I've figured that out, but I have been to a year of AA meetings and therapy throughout the years.
Lets all keep writing it helps
Alica

[MELLOWMOMMA]

Wine is my treat

PS
My partner can drink or not but likes to have it in the house for the option.
He doesn't have a clue that I sneak it and replace it. When I've told him that I think I ave a drinking problem he just doesn't see it ?
I think it is time to come clean
and that scares the hell out of me
because than I will be accountable
SCARY stuff !!!!

[gelgit]

Wine is my treat

Oh NO !!!!

You sound exactly like me 35 years ago, and it seems just like yesterday. Same problems, same routine with toddlers and the same feelings AND the same rationale for drinking a couple glasses of wine to get over the stresses of the day. You're right, it's tough, but there's just got to be another way. Because the drinking is NOT good for your mental or physical health and it doesn't get better. The wine gets to be a routine and an excuse.

When I had my AF periods, it was because I was able to get something else going on...like yoga classes.

I don't have much good advice, here I am, battling on, but I send you all the hope that still lives in my heart:h g.

[Cinders]

Wine is my treat

4Tops,

You sound just like me a few years ago. 2,3 or 4 glasses of wine a night and never lost productivity or anything else from it.

Somehow it changed and it changed fast. Suddenly 2 or 3 bottles was more like it.

Please consider adding some AF days to your week, and some guidelines for weekend drinking.

I, too, stayed home when my children were small. Wow, what a tough job!! Hardest one I ever did.

Either way, best of luck to you and your future.

Love,
Cindi
XXIV

[Croft]

Wine is my treat

Although I cannot relate to the taking care of kids all day anymore - grown up and moving out - I can relate to the reward feeling. Working hard all day, working out, accomplishments, it is nice to have that treat in the evening. A nice bubble bath with a glass of wine sounds like a such a nice thing to be able to do for yourself. I do get that. But at some point I got carried away. Would be nice to turn back the clock so I could enjoy that again with out the big G in guilt.

[CS04]

Wine is my treat

I understand

4tops and others,
I mentioned several days ago that I think I drink more now than before my son was born. I am working several days a week, but other days I am home with him all day and yes, it is very HARD in a very different way than work is hard. And hubby goes to work, interacts with like minded adults...and he likes to go to a local bar once a week -- well, those are the days that I REALLY want to drink, and do. My head does not begrudge him his time out, but my heart hates it and thinks it's unfair. I do know that I need to make some changes for myself, but I am scared to dive in to the Topa and the supps (partially b/c I'll have to stop breastfeeding).

Sorry if this reply is all over the map. I am trying to get up the courage to move forward but not sure if this is the right time. However I feel cut off and shut off much of the time, and that's not good.

CS

[Cinders]

Wine is my treat

CS04,

Doesn't alcohol cross the breast milk barrier, too?

If you are breast feeding you must be very careful with this program, too, though. I think I have noticed some of the supps do not recommend taking them while breastfeeding.

I am with you on how difficult to stay home with a little one. 24/7 and thankless job most of the time. Until they smile at you, or coo, or you see those beautiful faces asleep and feeling safe.

OMG, now I miss it all!!

Take care and sending strength.
Cindi
XXIV

[happy4once]

Wine is my treat

I too drank for the reward. Every night - 2-3+ glasses of wine (started out with just 1 after our first child and then kept increasing)...and on the way upstairs at night I would think, 'this is the only time of day I am happy. this is the only thing that makes me feel normal. this is the only thing I do just for me, and it's amazing how well I function, isn't it? Please don't take this one tiny reward away from me. I'm so happy right now.' But...I was hungover. Every. Day. I just never admitted it to myself until I stopped. I hid the effects of my nightly reward every morning, even to myself.

I've been on this program since Jan 18, 20008. I am much, much, much happier now. I still have a lot of things to work through to truly find what I think my healthy reward should be (I have been watching the same romance every night for the past week as a reward...need to change that!! ), but I can definitely say that I enjoy taking care of the kids more now. I still look to my husband for pats on the back (or tell him when he should be thanking me) but I don't dwell on it as much anymore...the wine can really mess with how you think even at lower levels like you are doing. And you don't realize it when you are still in the habit. Might just have been me, but my personality was definitely affected by my nightly reward.

Anyway - this program is awesome if you want to try to mod or stop for a bit to see how you feel. You are wise to think it over... and try to take a break today, in addition to the wine, just for you. We all need to find more time for ourselves, even though it seems impossible.

I hope you keep posting. Everyone here will support you no matter what you decide - even if you don't make any decision but just want to keep thinking it through.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Wine is my treat

I started out with 3-4 glasses of white wine every night after my son was born. Always kept things under control. 5 years later had our daughter, same thing. The past 2 or 3 years now I've been (wait, was!) drinking 6-8 glasses a night. Blackouts became a frequent thing. If I could have held it at 3-4 then I would have. It crept up on me. Having a husband who drinks to excess didn't help me.

I'm doing this for me. For my kids. For my health. For my marriage. It feels good and right. I'm not
as defensive as I was. I'm mellower, not as tense. I take things slower. I think I'm getting it. Day 10 AF.

[Sunbeam]

Wine is my treat

Congrats on day 10! you are beating the Big AL foe.