Anybody else live in a vineyard?

[Guest]

Hey guys,
I've been working the MWO program for a few weeks now without topa. I have very good days,sometimes a few together, and then the end of the week comes or hubby brings home a case of beer or opens a bottle of our wine that we grow and process. I really want to do moderation so that we can share our lifestyle together, but I'm really struggling . We have been married over 40 years and love each other deeply. I just feel so alone when I have to not drink at all.
It really helps to come here and read and share. Tanks!

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re Anybody else live in a vineyard

Hi Soutrnbelle
I do not live in a vineyard but I might as well. My husband is in a business where we always have cases of wine lying aroung and most of our friends are true wine lovers. These are people who do not for the most part overindulge. I am the one who does so it's my problem to deal with.
I am doing abstinence for the month of May. I'll hopefully do moderation in June but I'll worry about that later. This is a real challenge for me because wine is so plentiful and such a part of our lives. I'm sort of a fly under the radar drunk. I do not think most people know how much I drink. Unfortunately that means there is less motivation for me to change my drinking habits....but Iknow I must and I will.
I have just started this so being abstinent is hard.I feel I have to do it though to understand how to drink moderately.
Tonight will be a big challenge as Sat night is a night we always go out to dinne and have a lovely wine. Tonight I'll drink non-alcoholic beer. I'll tell you how I do. Still a long way to go in May but I think this is a good time to do it. June is weddings, graduations etc and I want to be able to look at alcohol in my life and put it in perspective. If i get going there is not enough wine in Napa Valley to keep me happy. I don't want to live that way. I'm just going to bite the bullet this month so I can earn moderation in June. I don't know if my thinking is right but at least I'm thinking about it for today and not pooping corkscrews

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

vineyard

Good luck tonight.
I don't seem to have the social drinking problem. This may be because we don't do allot of social stuff. My problem is at home (empty nest) and only hubby around mostly. I get angry with myself for not stopping after one or two drinks.... I may be one who has to totally abstain...forever...... Thanks for your support.

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Southernbelle,

No, I don't live in a vineyard, but I do have a lifestyle with my husband that I am missing very much, so I hear you!! I am six weeks into MWO now, and last night was the first night my husband went out without me. He has been so supportive through this whole process so my reaction to him wanting to go out kind of took me by surprise! I am doing abs now because I think I really need to take the time to reavaluate the whole "where, when and why" role of alcohol in my life. I don't necessarily care for the process at times, but feel it is crucial in my recvery. I really think it is a personal decision as to how long you do this for, and it is different for everyone. I think if you listen to yourself, you will know if or when the time is right for moderaton.

Hang in there. You are doing great!

Donna

PS Vinophile, your thinking is right on track here!!

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re:Anybody else live in a vineyard

Believe me when I say I wish I was only a social drinker. I too can polish off a bottle of wine either alone or with my husband. In my post yesterday I was probably more concerned about the social situation because that was the situation that was concerning me at the moment. Every night there is a desire to open the wine and relax with "just a glass" which turns into a bottle.
I'll see in June how to deal with moderation but I too think permanent abstinence might end up being the road I take.
Anyway it's comforting to know we are not alone in our struggle. Thank God for this website!

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: Re:Anybody else live in a vineyard

I just wanted to "ditto" a lot of the sentiments on this thread! Our lifestyle involves making wine, dining and WINING, partying, rugby and socials, entertaining... alcohol is just always around, and when I'm not drinkin, I tend to not be as much fun...??? I try, but maybe I'm resentful? Maybe I am just truly grouchy in "real life"? These past few months have really forced me to examine who I am, how I interact with others, etc., sans booze.
In a social situation with many other people, I seem to actually do quite well! Enjoying the conversation without repeating myself 15 times, then passing out too early... . But at home with just hubby and the kids, it seems like it's taking a LOT of energy to get through the mundane tasks with a smile on my face.
Funny, seems people want us to be able to drink "normally" vs. not drinking at all, but we're so in danger of "going off the deep end" as readyfreddy put it in another thread... and they (and certainly WE) don't want THAT.

What a predicament.

I'm 3 months into moderation with topa. It's work. But I'm not a drunken moron every few days any more...
ay ay ay...

Glad you guys are here!!!!!!!!! Cannot TELL you how much!!

Love,
Becca

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: Re:Anybody else live in a vineyard

Becca,
I do understand the "resentful comment".
We live on 60 acres and have several gardens...flower and veggie.....and some open land to keep up......I will be working away and content with water and my hubby will stop for a short break and ask if I want a beer! It will be noon.........:rolleyes I guess what he (In his male brain) considers a reasonable drink to stay hydrated with is beer! 8o This is him with his beer goggles on! :lol
Doesn't work for me ...or for that matter...him either. I find myself handing him water and sports drinks all day.
I have found that if I do something just for myself....pedicure, a soak in the tub,(door locked) or read a book that is funny and uplifting, listen to my kind of music or MWO cd's, some of the resentment goes. I know it is hard to find time , space and money with young ones always underfoot .. BTW...what is normal? I can only find it as a setting on my dryer!
Take a deep breath and post on here allot!
Nancy

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: Re:Anybody else live in a vineyard

Hey Vinophile.....................How did Saturday night go??
I think it's great to be able to abs with having it all around. I'm pulling for you!
Nancy

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: Re:Anybody else live in a vineyard

Well, I don't live in a vineyard, but we do have a couple of very fruitful grapevines out off our back deck. They're well established, the base each is about 4 or 5 in around. We had tons of grapes a few yrs ago. I was gonna try my hand @ making my own wine, but decided I was drinking too much already @ that time... so, I ended up giving away i don't know how many bushells of grapes!

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re:anybody else live in a vineyard

Hi Nancy,
I did not do so well on Sat night as went out with my husband to a restaurant we always go to. Had to wait quite a while for a table and by the time we sat down the sweet waitress,who knows us and what we drink by heart, had already placed our drinks,which were on the house,on the table. Of course my drink was my usual chardonnay and of course I drank it (plus 3 more). so much for my non-alcoholic beer. I did think of you (I had just finished my posting before we went out) and everyone else at MWO as I drank those glasses of wine. I'm back in full force now though. So far I had gone 8 days without wine so I'll try not to beat myself up and get back on the horse od abstinence.
My husband called 20 min ago and said that he had a tension headache and would I have just one glass with him... you see we are all in the same boat....He does not get it as he CAN have just one glass;although he will sometimes have more. I did say absolutely not and will hold firm.
I do hope you live in the south as I live in Boston and just got a look at the weather here for the next week ..all rain and chilly..... how depressing..... no vineyards here!!!
Another question... I must be stupid but I just realized that I'm still showing as unregistered user. I signed up as a global acct and thought that would sign me on . I see halfway through this thread you registered.What did you do? Maybe I'm listening to the cd's too much!!!
Janet .

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: Re:anybody else live in a vineyard

I think it's because I remembered to login. :lol
The registered user question.

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

I do!

Hi Southern Belle
I understand you entirely. We have a small vineyard, for home consumption and I too wish I could just have a glass or two at a time not the whole bottle. The idea of stopping completely seems so hard. I just found this program today so am looking at it. Its refreshing to find one that talks about cutting down.
How are you getting on? Have you started the program?
SF

[Guest]

Anybody else live in a vineyard?

Re: I do!

Welcome SF,
I've been working MWO for a couple of months now. I bought the book , then ordered the tapes. Read and listened while I got supps together. I am not on topa. I've been working on clearing things out of my body for several months..... Precription drugs which I started taking while my son was in Iraq. I really didn't want to add anything else. The natural stuff does help and talking on here and reading and listening to tapes. I also stay very busy around the farm and outside almost all day.
Moderation (one 4-5 oz glass) a day for women would be an ideal goal for me. My brain says more is better!! I'm working on reprograming my brain!!
MWO is a tool for that. There is not a magic pill, book, or tape!! But all this is the best thing I've found so far, and it is working for me.....I do have to make a commitment to work the program. You will find friends here who will help you with encouragement and sometimes by speacking truth as I need to hear it.
Bless you in your search for help.
Nancy