am so hurt

[kaddy]

as you know my boyfreind is in hospital,,, he has been there sines xmas,,, and on friday he said he wants me to stay away ffor a few weeks,, as he thinks am taking to much on,,, l have just fond out my cancer has come back,, they got it in time,,,,, so he thinks l should spend more time at home,,,, l told him am ok,,, but he said he hadte being in a weelchair as he had 2 ops on his hip and had wo have a brace on so that beans is has to have a bag to wee in,,,, and he dos not want me to see him like that,,, l went every day to see him,, take him out know this am finding it so hard,,, in the past l would of got drunk,,, but am finding it hard to stay away from al,,, am on meds for cancer so thats helping to stay off al,,,


sorry for going on,, but my head is done in,,, had frends round for dinner last night and they were drinking it was so hard not to have just 1,,, they asked what was wrong but how can l tell them when l do not understand myself

[Palatia]

am so hurt

oh my goodness...

You are a strong girl... Speak to you higher power.... I'm glad to hear you have friends coming round..

We are here too....

[Cinders]

am so hurt

Kaddy,

Your thread title is "am so hurt."

Are you hurt he doesn't want you to come around and see him?

If so, I agree, I would be hurt, too.

Perhaps he is getting depressed from having to spend so much time in the hospital and being stuck to a wheelchair - can't say as I blame him -- and he doesn't want to add guilt for having you do so much to make time to come see him, etc.

I don't know.

If I were you, I would go see him and talk to him about how you feel. That you truly want to come see him and be with him, no matter what. See how he responds to that. You need to communicate two ways.

Good on you for not using this as an excuse to drink. You are doing very well and you should keep it up. I am impressed.

Love,
Cindi
XVIII

[Laurav]

am so hurt

Hi Kaddy,
You sure have a lot on your plate.
Sending healing thoughts and lots of hugs your way.

[lukalee]

am so hurt

He might be feeling depressed. I know when I am feeling that way, I don't want to be around anyone, even the people I love very much. Plus there is the pride thing; he may want to try to gain some strength so that he feels like more of "a man". Try to give him a little space; maybe go every other day rather than every day, and don't stay for as long. With time, things will turn around. Remember, it's really not about NOT wanting to see you; it's about healing his own wounds, both physically and mentally. It's hard on both of you, and you both need to have time for yourselves. He is right when he says that you do need some time for yourself. You have gone through a lot. Maybe he sees something in you that you don't see. I don't know you, but he does. He could see that you are pushing yourself too hard, and he wants to see both of you getting better.

[tlrgs]

am so hurt

you are doing a great job .maybe you need to spend some time to yourself . i really know how you feel and its hard. but it might be for the best so stay strng and do what you have to. to stay sober.
peace and god bless

[betty boop]

am so hurt

Oh Kaddy, my heart goes out to you sweetheart ........

First of all, Well done on not drinking ..............

I would try and talk to him, no offense to the men out there but they handle things different to us, they need their own space whereas most women want a hug ...........

Tell him that YOU need to see him, that it isn't just about his feelings, you have a lot on with your cancer and it should be a two way relationship .........

Tell him that YOU are hurting ...........

All the best Kaddy and keep us updated .......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[kaddy]

am so hurt

hi all thanks for the post,,,
he send me a text yesderday saying he was miserbale sad and depressed and he will find his way there and hopes am therre when he gets there,,,,,
l told him to take all the time he needs,, l be here when he is ready,, l go in hospital on tuesday and when l get out l have to have some time off work,, so this time will give me time to get some study done,,
hope you all have a good day

[Janice]

am so hurt

Sending you a big hug Kaddy :l and hope everything goes well for you on Tuesday.

love Janicexxx

[kaddy]

am so hurt

just to let you know the op went ok

[CaptJBean]

am so hurt

you are in my prayers... God shall cover you under his wing... holding you in the palm of his hand... so much we are called upon... no home is without stress nor sadness... you can bare this with the faith of your fathers...

[happydog]

am so hurt

Dear Kaddy,

This must be very hard for you what you are going through. give your boyfriend time he will come round its just that he cares about you too! (works both ways) :l
my thoughts and prayers are with you....
Sending you lots of strength comfort and Love to both of you.

Love:h

Teardrop.x

[bald headed old guy]

am so hurt

Kaddy,
Such a lot on your plate, I am sorry that you are having to deal with all of this pain and misery. You are exhibiting a lot of strength and will power by not caving in to drinking! That is soooo positive. Please keep all of us updated!
You both are in my prayers. God bless
BHOG

[kaddy]

am so hurt

thanks everyone for the post,,, l get out of hospital today yhe op went ok
and he send my a big bunch of flowers
hope you all have a good weekend

[maggymay]

am so hurt

hi kaddy, what a lot of hard things you have on your plate. I will be thinking of you. It is so hard sometimes to understand what is going on with someone. But as lukalee says his stuff is about him not about you. I think you are right to take a break from visiting even for a day and see how you get on. If he is miserable all the time that is bad for you too. You have to mind yourself and see that you get well. Also your study will help - a way to a better future for both of you. He will get support in the hospital and you must find support for yourself too. It is so hard to manage the alcohol especially with friends calling but you did it.

Take today easy and i will light a candle in the church next to my office for you....

maggymay