Starting again...second time around!

[nojoke]

Hi,

I have been here before, about 3 years ago and found the whole program to be really helpful, and it worked!

Well, I was AF for nearly 18 months until that monster slowly but insidiously crept back into my life. No excuses, but I always found a reason to excuse my regression. My partner was supportive of my going AF, and was so proud of the changes I made. When my partner died just over a year ago I was beginning to find solace in the bottle again, and told myself that I deserved to feel calm...you all know the excuses.

So I find myself now feeling like I'm on that slippery slope. I am not drinking like I used to, but when I do it's as though it is an olympic event and I'm going for gold. Time to reevaluate, so I am going to go for a month of abstinence.

I look forward to hearing from you all. We all have a common goal. Lets kick this...once and for all! No Joke!

[lukalee]

Starting again...second time around!

I'm sorry to hear about your partner. Have you allowed yourself time to morn? I think many of us turn to the bottle in times of sorrow because we are so used to burying our feelings. I am proud of you for coming back. Hang in there, we are all in this together.

[Cinders]

Starting again...second time around!

NoJoke,

:welcome: back.

So sorry to hear about your partner. I agree with Lukalee, we do tend to bury our sorrows in the booze to avoid the feelings.

I am glad you are here and ready to get back to control of your life.

Post away and read and follow the program. You know how to do this.

Cindi
XXVIII

[Miso]

Starting again...second time around!

Welcome back nojoke,

I too, am very sorry to hear about your loss. Sometimes we drink so that we don't have to feel. 18 months af is amazing. You seem to want to do something about your drinking again. Maybe you can draw upon how proud your partner was of you when you went af and that your partner wouldn't want you to go back to the place you worked so hard to get out of. You should be so proud of yourself for recognizing that you needed help and coming back for it. Since you have been here before you know how well this program and site can help. Please keep posting. I wish you the strength you are needing right now.

Miso :heart:

[nojoke]

Starting again...second time around!

thanks for those kind words everyone. I do feel like a weight has been lifted. I didn't want to admit that I was losing control again but in the end, we are our own harshest critics. So I have listened to that inner voice saying (quite loudly lately) STOP! What are you doing? And yes, Miso I am proud of what I achieved before and I want that feeling of success again.

I moved overseas and changed jobs after the funeral but some things it seems follow you around...now its time to kick it out of the ring and face those feelings I have been avoiding. I might need some help dealing with that! 3 days af and I really don't want to search for that help in a bottle...