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Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

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    #1

    Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

    My name is Kathy,

    I was looking for something like this on a bad hangover back in April I was feeling very desperate.

    I was a pretty moderate drinker, a couple of glasses of wine two or three nights a week, up until ten years ago right after I met my husband, soon to be ex, he was the one who introduced me to shots or shooters or what ever. I would say he is a binge drinker.At any rate it seems as though after we met my life got more complicated. We are both fitness conscious we joined a gym before we got married, he is now the asst. mgr at that gym and is working toward being a body builder, translation he loves working out and pumping iron more than he ever loved me, don't get me wrong I enjoyed working out with him in the beginning, and I still enjoy going for walks. But I soon found out that I married a playboy we couldn't go anywhere without him running into some young blonde, and I can say what I want about blondes because I am one, who would be so bubbley and perky when they would see him and I would suddenly become invisible. It wears on you after awhile, then there is the car wreck I had which I blame in part on him, he was supposed to be the designated driver and he ditched me, probably to talk to some girl at night club we were at, after the wreck I was a wreck. I was charged with wreckles driving. Til then I didn't even have a parking ticket. I was so humiliated but thankful at the same time, only myself, my car and a fire hydrant were involved. Its been over 5 years but I took it so hard I believe my anxiety attacks really began there and my drinking to escape. To shorten things up its been kinda tough from there my dad died my husband cheating, our seperation, and my struggles with income even though I work full time, so I am very thankful for this sight, its the only thing I have found where I feel free to unload. I know there alot of good people here who have had alot of bad things happen to them, some alot worse than me, and I wish them all well with MWO. I only relate my story because it feels good to get it out, and most importantly maybe it will help someone else.


    kitkat
    Tags: alot, found, gym, married, wreck
    #2
    Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

    Welcome kitkat,

    The thing we ALL share is that there must have been a moment in our life when we realised that we just needed to stop our self-destructive behaviour. We ALL needed help and that's what brought us to this site. It's a good place to be.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Tawny

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      #3
      Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

      Hi Kathy,

      Thanks for sharing your story! This is a great site and a place of great support. I am glad you found MWO, and hope you find the same help and comfort here that I have found! Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you out!

      Donna

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        #4
        Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

        In rereading my intro I make it sound like I'm blaming my ex for all my drinking problems. Thats pretty bad, I'm the one who turned to alcohol he didn't poor it down my throat.

        I'm bitter, and I want to get better! I carry alot of guilt for my own actions, but I don't want to wallow in them or I will get depressed and drink. And thats not what I want.

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          #5
          Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

          Hi Kathy,

          I read your story and then your subsequent post re: that you chose to drink - not your husband or unhappy marriage forcing you.
          That struck a chord with me. I also justified my drinking on my unhappy marriage - mainly. I had other excuses too.
          But I often said to myself:
          ?If my husband could only be . . .?
          ?If only he were like . . .?

          But then I realized it was ME who was doing the drinking - and I was depressed and unhappy and horribly guilty. And he was unhappy and not at all willing to be accommodating over anything. It was a vicious circle.

          To be clear, I don?t think you getting control over your drinking would have saved your marriage. It seems that nothing would have stopped your ex-husband from being a cad. They are often born and bred that way I?ve noticed.

          But what prompted me to write was your comment; ?I'm the one who turned to alcohol he didn't poor it down my throat?.
          My husband didn?t pour it down my throat either. I was using it to hide myself and have done for more than 25 years.
          But, since I?ve toned down my consumption considerably, I?m finding that?s he?s not such a bad guy after all.
          Oh, I?d still like to shake him every once in a while and I do wish he was things he is not.
          But, he has appreciated what I've been trying to achieve and respects the struggle. So - I think this ride might be worth it. Although I?ll look at a trade-in option ten years from now (younger, with a built-in CD player).

          Changing my ways of handling stress, pain, shame and unhappiness is changing my life. I'm not even close to figuring it all out or even at a place where I can say I'm okay, but I have hope and I'm sober.

          I truly believe that this program has helped me get a grip on the drinking thing more than any therapy, antabuse, reading or crying I have ever done.

          Good luck on the road Kathy. A few bends and twists and hills, but we?re right beside you.
          Helen

          Comment

            #6
            Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

            Kathy and Helen,

            You both bring up good points about drinking and unhappy marriage. I wrote a post a day or so ago where I know I sounded bitter and probably more than a little "whiney" about my ex. I don't blame him for my drinking (although he is a selfish sh*t! with a very "nice guy" persona). I used the drinking to hide from myself. Otherwise, I would have had to face the fact that we were not right for each other, I needed to be more financially independent so we could divorce, I was going to be a single mother, and yes, this was very painful. Instead, I holed up with my bottle and hoped for the best. Big mistake!

            Oh well, we are all works in progress, and it takes how long it takes! Thanks for your insightful posts, ladies!

            Hugs, Kathy

            Comment

              #7
              Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

              Hi Kathy!
              Welcome (officially) to MWO! I have enjoyed reading some of your other input and posts, and it is really interesting to finally get to hear your story. Those husbands....
              You know, I found the more I made this about ME and the less I made it about HIM, the more success I had! Making yourself healthy and happy and on the road to recovery is the best revenge.... REWARD ....oooooops!!! haa haaa!! you can get!:rollin
              Seriously, though. You will always have YOU. So glad you are here trying to make it the best you there is!
              Take care,
              Becca

              Comment

                #8
                Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

                Dear kitkat,
                Helen has said it much better than me. I do truly feel for you and know what it's like to to be raw and truly hurting. But and the risk of sounding like all our old aunties ( and everybody has one) there are better days ahead. You have done the hardpart all ready! knowing that the miss wired brain waves are in your head! Well done. it sounds like you are physico but you are not you are just like us:rollin How scary is that! But then again you are in really good company. What more could you want! You will have love! Support! Company! And at anytime you can log on and hopefully talk to anyone! Sorry do I some flippant? I don't mean to be. All I know is that you are in truly good hands if you want to. I joined not long ago, full of gungho! but quickly learn't maybe we should listen and learn from the others here as well. It is hard but not impossible I am here for the long haul. do you want to join me?
                Sharyn

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                  #9
                  Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

                  Yes, those husbands can be real SOB's can't they.
                  Welcome and peace.
                  From someone's husband
                  Backpacker

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

                    Now now now Backpacker.

                    I am SURE you are a perfect husband.
                    And I, of course, am a perfect wife.

                    And there we have it.
                    Helen

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Im so GLAD I found MWO but I didn't intro

                      I really appreciate everyone's responses, and I do know that there are some good husbands out there my mother and my sister inlaw are good examples of two women I know who found good hubands but I'm bias, I just didn't get the pick of the litter, don't get me wrong he wasn't evil, as a matter of fact if you aren't his ex girlfriend or wife, you would say he is a great guy.

                      Speaking of which I ran into him at the grocery store last night, and I'm pretty sure he was there looking for me but I didn't stop to ask. I almost stopped at the liquor store after my encounter ALMOST but I didn't I'm in day three of my May abs, and I purchased some kudzu yesterday maybe thats why I didn't stop at the liquor store does it work that fast?

                      Anyway thanks again everyone

                      kitkat

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