Ooops, I did it again .....

[Guest]

Well, here I am, I wasn't going to post this but feel that I should if I am to continue to try to stop myself from drinking too much and making a complete prat of myself.

Easter day - drank a lot of wine from about 1pm, had a lovely time until I suddenly decided to be homesick (I am in Oz, originally from UK). Well, until they invent a phone with an alarm attached at the slightest whiff of alcohol that bleats out 'STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE" I am going to keep making a d!@k of myself. Anyway, I phoned my Mum and my sister and wailed down the phone to them about how much I wanted to come home NOW. Of course, that caused a lot of commotion back in the UK, if fact my sister said that my Mum was about to clear out her spare room, get a price for air tickets and be ready and waiting at the airport!!

On sobering up the next day, I felt terrible. I am actually, in fact, quite happy here in Oz and would not contemplate going back at all. I feel bad for upsetting the family back in UK and upsetting my hubby here who has worked so hard for us to get where we are and I came over as totally ungrateful and a completely spoilt big baby.

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to be such an idiot and drag everyone into my self imposed own little twisted mindset after a gallon of wine?

Thanks for letting me offload.

[Guest]

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Annie

All I can say is "snap"; I'm from UK too and did the same thing. I can only say that, after all the years of drinking I have wised up to (trying) not to speak with family when I've had a few!! I used to be really bad and upset everyone too, and then next call, I'd wonder what they'd be on about (cringingly realising I must have said something pathetic!)
I'm waiting to start the programme; it's got to be better than this!
Good luck!
Emy

[Guest]

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Annie,
I get so paranoid that I will make an ass of myself that I turn the phone off when I have had a few. Too scared to let anyone know that I am drunk AGAIN!!!
Since being on MWO I haven't needed to turn it off anywhere near as often.
YEP I have fallen of the wagon more than once or twice. But hey, I back here again! Will keep trying until I get there.
All the best
GS

[Guest]

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Thank you so much guys. I must be feeling better ..... I actually laughed out loud when I seen the "snap" from Emmy - I'm so glad you have done this to. I don't mean to be funny about that but it's a life-safer for me to know that somebody else has felt the same way as I have.

And Gonnastop .... hats of to you for having the savvy to turn your phone off. I actually must have pulled the cord out of mine because when I went to use it the next day, it was out. I accused hubby of doing it and he said he stood and watched me take it out. Thank goodness, my Good Fairy side must have taken over! Otherwise, I would have made my way through my address book - all those old pals who are just dying to hear from me, eh???? Cringe, at least I saved myself from that .............. I hope!

Anyway, I have upped my Topa back up to 25 mg. I had been halfing them for a while and didn't take any Saturday or Sunday (with the usual results). Let's hope that will put me back on the straight and narrow! X

[Guest]

Ooops, I did it again .....

Hi Annie,

Do you want to hop into chat for a while?

[Guest]

Ooops, I did it again .....

Hi Annie,

I cringe when I think of some of the phone calls I made after drinking too much wine! I am surprised my family didn't lock me up in the nearest hospital after some of them! I know that those calls upset them, and I always felt like such an A@# the next day, so I know how you feel. All I can say is try like heck not to do it!! I tried writing in a journal, even if I couldn't make out all the words the next morning, at least I will felt better for not making that phone call!

Donna

[Guest]

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Oh man... when I lived in Colo. I used to "house sit" every so often(I didn't have a phone in my tree-house...or running water,but that's another story...). Whenever i was house sitting, I'd always have to "inventory" the liquor cabinet...the least I could do! Of course I'd always have to call everyone I knew & tell them all about everything going on in my life... no matter what time of the night...Duh...
And of course, by morning I'd have no idea who I'd called! I needed a breathalizer on the phone!

[Guest]

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Hang in there, Annie.
You sound better, you know what to do! Get back on, baby!
Love, Becca

[Guest]

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Ah, the breathalizer on the phone. A great idea

Unless you needed to call for an emergency:

[Guest]

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Thank you friends. I really appreciate being able to call myself to task on this site. Face up to myself "in front" of others and really give myself a talking to. It's not working overnight, obviously, but everytime this happens I feel like hell the next day BUT I am beginning to face my feelings about certain issues that I have tried to ignore. Before this program and this site happened in my life, I would have these episodes and dwell on them for weeks/months, berating myself to myself, really bringing myself down to myself and just generally giving my already lacking self esteem a good old kick-in. Now, I come here, tell you all what happened, get the support, feedback, and the feeling of being cared for, realise that I am not a "bad" person (maybe I don't always make the wisest choices but I'm not bad!) and I feel I'm starting to put value on myself again as a person.

I'm sorry for rambling but I'm just typing it as it comes and how I feel.

Maybe I take myself too seriously and then when I go over the top with wine I go a bit mad - maybe I should get out more - maybe I should just shut the hell up!

Anyway, as I said, I'm going back to 25 mg Topa and not missing out any again! This proves the difference between taking the meds and not - for me anyway! Although, it worries me that I might have to take the Topa for the rest of my life. X

[Guest]

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I am laughing out loud at these posts because the phone call thing is so universal, not to mention e-mailing after a few drinks. I have woken up many a morn with a start trying to remember who I e-mailed and why......then when I run downstairs and read them I could die. Sad how your brain takes that turn that makes it all seem so rational at the time.

Molly

[Guest]

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A Pandemic of bloopers

omigosh, the phone and email thing must be wired into us! I've done the same thing, especially not remembering who I called or emailed until it dawns on me the next day to check my "sent" box. I always pray that it will be empty. One time, I emailed the president of a company I'd worked for in the past and reamed him out on the company's lowsy advertising/website.>: Hoped against hope that the darn email somehow got lost in the cybervoid. No such luck. He emailed me back, asking if I had sent the email to him and would I like to talk to him about it. Needless to say, he hasn't heard another peep out of me. It's so incredible to wake up in the morning and remember everything you did and DIDN'T do!

Cazzi