Need some hope

[evie]

Hi there
I've been reading for a while and have even bought some of the stuff and tried the meds. Can't seem to get anywhere. Reckon I drink getting on for a bottle of red wine each night ( some I throw back as I have an ed too).
I am so amazed when people can give up for even a week! you must hve so much will power! I'm fine all day. No cravings, up until around 6 pm and then can't hold off until much past 7.
I panic if I haven't got any in the house. Over easter I was ill and managed about 4 or 5 days without , then felt better and the old habits kicked in again. I know I feel so much better without but the weak side just gives in every time.. I am beginning to hate myself sooo much. Its good to read how well you all ae doing though!
Best Wishes
xxx

[Ripple]

Need some hope

Hello Evie..sometimes it takes something awful to happen then we realise our drinking is the problem. You are trying to stop and will when the time is right. Hang in there, change will come to you. :welcome:

[Thankful]

Need some hope

Evie, take some deep breaths. Please do not hate yourself. Self sabatoge is so not going to help you get sober.

You have to tell yourself you are worth the time and effort that getting sober takes. Getting sober and living healthier is your reward. Having a drink (or bottle) at the end of the day is NOT a reward for a hard day's work. No one deserves a drink at the end of the day, because you don't deserve to poison yourself. You deserve to be healthy and happy. That's what you deserve!

What supps do you take? Anything for the cravings? It seems to me that you may not be having physical cravings. It seems that you have habitual urges instead. Is there something you can do to break up your routine at 6PM? Excersise, go to a movie, go for a walk, call a friend or family member, come here and chat? You have to change your routine to rid yourself of that "happy hour" cycle that you are in.

You can do this, Evie. I can hear your cries for change. You want this badly, but only you can give it you. We are here for you, hun.

Love, Me
:l

[Thankful]

Need some hope

Quote by Big Mac - from his thread "Need Advice"

Well now with the support piece added the 'habit' part of the drinking equation has slowly but surely left me as well.

Evie, when I left here I went to a thread called "Need Advice" from Big Mac. His last post (from today at 10:41) really touched on what I was trying to tell you. I thought I'd mention it in case you wanted to go and read it.

Love, Me
:l

[caseaday]

Need some hope

Evie...I am on day 7 of AF and am no expert as compared to others on this site but I do have some perspectives.

I too would get anxious if there wasn't beer in my house. Once I got down to the last couple of cans I would start to freak out and have to run to the store whether it be at 9:00 in the morning or 9:00 at night.

However, in the end, it really doesn't matter whether there is AL in your home or not...it's about what is in your head. In fact, when I decided to go AF I decided to put a case of beer in my fridge so I didn't have to worry about it. Sound strange? Yes, but I also have 7 bottles of wine, and 6 different brands of Vodka in the liquor cabinet and haven't thought about touching any of it. Most people would say that the approach is not the right way to do things but it gives me strength to look at it and say "no".

Tenacity is what you need to develop if you are going to succeed. Don't hate yourself. Choose instead to develop a hatred for AL. Get mad at him and take action! Your post felt very down and you need to lift yourself up. Watch an inspiring movie, listen to some upbeat music, or read a self help book. But don't think too hard, just do it! Day 1 - 5 will be tough, so take it hour by hour and be determined that no matter how hard it is you are going to stay the course. Be really, really, really stubborn about it!!

Here's a thought...once you decide that you are ready to make a change, schedule something from 6 - 9 every night for the first 7 days so you aren't worrying about drinking and pacing around your home wondering what to do. It seems that it is more of a ritual for you to drink than anything. Are you bored? Go to a friends house, go window shopping, go to a movie, etc. It will really help!

You can do it! You are only a short few days away from feeling much better!

[missy64]

Need some hope

Hey Evie.....Please do not be so hard on yourself.....we all have our good days and our bad days and that is why we are here......I have made some terrible mistakes in the haze of intoxicated maddness and really wish that I could be a normal drinker like everyone else.......Well truth be told we are not alone or this site would not even exist.....I am just so happy to see you on this site and ready to make some changes.....Try to start each day with a purpose.....Find out what really makes you happy.......Be nice to yourself and you will be amazed at the difference it will make in the way you think.... You can do it.....Looking forward to seeing you around.........:goodjob:

Sandra

[paula]

Need some hope

Hi Evie, things get better. Wishing you well.
Love Paula.

[Guest]

Need some hope

It's an everyday battle; it's not easy by any means. Just believe in yourself and try to find someone who can be with you for encouragement when you are in need of it. Whether it be a family member, a friend or someone here on this board. This place is filled with lots of lovely people with outstretched hands ready to help you when you are about to fall, or to pick you back up when you have...

Gia

[evie]

Need some hope

Thank you everyone for all your support. It has really lifted me and given me strength to keep fighting.
I wish I could go out at 6 but I have 3 young children to get to bed. My hubby is away alot of the time so I get really tired. The drinking has got worse over the last year as he has been away more and I've used it as an escape.
I take kudzu, and L glut. I have some topamax and milk thistle and all in one but haven't been taking them as I didn,t see the point when I was drinking every day anyway.
I did mannage without last night...hurray! Intend to go without tonight too. Hubby and I are off to relate tonight as going through a bad patch...wish me luck!
Again thank you for all your inspiration it has really helped
xx

[Karl1981]

Need some hope

hi there.. see your already on your way by not having a drink last night.. lets make it 2 nights now and go from there. everyone here is wonderful. i havent had a drink for 26 days now and i use to drink 2 or more bottles a night. every night.. The only thing keeping me going is this place and the people here.. (and a few meds.)

Ull have your bad days and your good days. just got to pull through them.. Have faith in yourself. and well my new saying is

You cant fail, if you never give up..

we will all help you through this. its ruff and tuff. but I believe in you..

welcome to this wonderful place...

karl

[caseaday]

Need some hope

Congratulations on making it a couple of days AF! The first few are pretty tought but within a few days you will be feeling so much better. The clarity of mind is also a big benefit! Keep going...

[cookinghappy]

Need some hope

Gosh Evie, I felt like you were describing me. I am a mother of 3. I too have an ed (bulemia), I too drink a bottle a night. I used to throw up every night but am getting less and less "efficient" about it as I usually fall asleep in front of the telly. As a consequence I have put on weight (something my already overweight self could ill afford to do). In desperation, I went to my GP last week who ordered a blood test and with my pleading prescribed Antabuse for me. The problem is that I can't bring myself to take it. I know I have to give up, but I know that taking the pill means shutting the door on my "friend" -wine. And I'm really reluctant. My marriage is fortunately a happy one, but my husband (who normally says nothing about my drinking) has recently voiced his dismay at my consumption. So I feel the pressure to stop. I can see too how falling asleep on the sofa every night affects intimacy between my husband and I so I have every reason to want to stop. Yet still I can't seem to take the first step.

I know I'm not much help, but maybe we could try together...

[evie]

Need some hope

I know what you mean about taking a pill....you need to decide its what you want beforehand! Its so hard. I went back to the wine last night and feel horrible today- its so not worth it. I'm not going to buy any today.
At least you have a good marriage- keep that as a focus. Take carexx

[Guest]

Need some hope

CH

I too have had issues with food over the years. I am actually quite a fit person yet crave and over eat chocolate and other foods as a 'hangover' from full blown bulimia. I used to like the drink because it would help my relax around food. Since going AF I have found it easier to enjoy nice food, am able to work out more and in fact although I am eating plenty I am finding the weight is coming off nicely . Seems a lot of it was water retention from the drink plus I am no longer consuming all those junk kcals.

Believe me it does get better and AL never solves or improves any situation.

[evie]

Need some hope

Thanks for that ukblond. I started drinking al instead of eating just because eating freaked me out so much! Now I end up with 2 problems! I'm glad to hear that the food issue has improved because my fear is my ed(an) will get worse after being stable for a while if I cut out the al. Tonight is going well. No al in house and I remain positive. You folks are so supportive! Thank you!
Evie xx