new here and feeling down

[Leolady]

Hello

I have been lurking around this site for a while, but have only just got up enough courage to register.

I had a dreadful weekend. Got really smashed on Saturday night while with my husband and some friends, one of whom has been one of my best friends for many years. Was so drunk, I was really horrible and verbally abusive to my friend, although I cannot remember everything I said. She was meant to be staying the night at my house, but went home (had to pay for a taxi to travel 15 miles) because I was so awful. I rang her the next day and apologised, but don't know if she will ever forgive me. I just feel so ashamed and know I must do something about my drinking. How do you get over the shame and remorse? I cannot forgive myself.

[Accountable for Me]

new here and feeling down

Welcome Leolady! I know all to well about shooting my mouth off when I am drunk. Gosh, so many times I can't even count. I understand about the not remembering and the shame.

I am sure your friend will forgive you. Just give her a bit of time.

Stick around here and read and post a lot. This place is a great support system for anyone wanting to change their drinking behaviour. I know I need to hop back on the wagon and stick around here a bit more again.

Glad you found us!

[tlrgs]

new here and feeling down

welcome..loelady..you are doing a great so far . just by writing thinking about and learning from it .
keep on posting . it all takes one day at a time. peace and god bless

[Finding My Self]

new here and feeling down

Hello Leolady.... welcome to the place you'll discover so many answers to your questions!

Ugh....one of 'those' weekends huh?! First off you aren't the first and you wont be the last....but it can be YOUR last one like that....honest.

Put down the drink, go AF (alcohol free) a minute at a time if needs be but certainly a day at a time.... gradually things will clarify as to whys and whens and whatfors you drink too much.....and THEN the healing begins to be apparent (it'll have started; it HAS started with your brave first post!

THEN you'll learn to forgive yourself ....slowly and with the support of this amazing place.

And you have to forgive yourself to care about yourself and then love yourself into a space where Al (alcohol) just doesn't have a place..... What will have a place is the joy of living and the love between those around you - and I really hope the love of this friend of yours who might be a bit shaken, but with your best 'appology' (giving up drinking as well as the words I am sorry), is back in your life soon.

I really wish you well....keep coming here and the 'map' is on these pages...there'll be lots of folk along to show you the way! They're lovely.

Love to you
Finding My Self. xx
(aka Finding My Feet which I started out as last July - it works!)

[livingfree]

new here and feeling down

All of us start at a day one. If you work on not drinking first - the shame and guilt start to work their way out of the picture. Your friend will forgive you. Just ask. Keep logging on and reading here. Post lots and you will find your views and habits changing. Best of Luck
Liv

[Janice]

new here and feeling down

Welcome Leolady!!! If you've been lurking for a while then you've probably read lots of posts that you could have written yourself.....which means you're not on your own here!!! If Saturday really was the last straw for you and you want things to change.....the good news is it can!!!! But, only you can do it, you have to take yourself by the scruff of your neck and make some changes. Find out as much as you can about the programme, decide what parts of it you want to use........and don't stray too far away from the boards - read, read, read!!

Wishing you lots of luck & determination.....

Janicexxx

Janicexxx

[LVT25]

new here and feeling down

Leolady,

:welcome:

Drinking can be soooo much fun, can't it! Starts out so fun, and then WTF happens?? It's just not worth it. Glad you're here, please download or buy MWO book, keep coming here...it's a good start.

[greeneyes]

new here and feeling down

I just love Liv. So much it brings tears to my little green eyes. :h
Aside from that, some of us have done far worse. Myself included. Forgive yourself. Your friend will. Make some moves and tell your friend what you are doing. This is a tough road. Lots of people to help you find the wind beneath your wings. :l

[Guest]

new here and feeling down

I think one of the first things an alcoholic has to do in order to move forward is to accept you can't change what has gone before. Too many times I would dwell on my drunken behaviour. That just made me feel worse, reduced my confidence and increased my shame thus setting myself up for another drink.

Since coming out of rehab I haven't looked back - I have mentioned to one or two very close friends that I know I was a pain when I was drinking and mostly we just make a little joke about it. The rest of the time I just get on with being sober - I can't change my past behaviour but I can control my current and future behaviour by not having that first drink. I also believe that by maintaining my sobriety I am making up for the destruction I have caused as well as rebuilding the trust and respect of loved ones, friends and work associates.

So, look forward not back. Right now acheiving and maintaining sobriety is the most important thing - and shall remain that.

[caseaday]

new here and feeling down

Welcome to MWO. As you already know there is alot of support here for you during this tough time. Like others have said, the first post is the first step to learning how to deal with AL. Lot's of wisdom here.

As for the friend, many of us have been where you are today. Try to set that situation on the shelf for the next few days while you get started on your recovery program. It will give your friend time to cool down a bit and give you time to think about how the relationship can be repaired. I wouldn't dwell too much on what happened right now.

[Leolady]

new here and feeling down

What a wonderful welcome! Just wanted to say thanks so much to all of you for your words of advice and comfort. I had in fact already bought and read the book, but failed to take any action. I am planning to order the supps and the cds and really give it a go now. I also plan to be here a lot, reading and posting. What a lovely source of support. Thank you all again.

[bald headed old guy]

new here and feeling down

LeoLady,

It's sad but true, we hurt the ones we love the most. This is because they are generally around us when we strike out in drunken stupidity. Well, Ok, as many have said, it is done and over with. You can't go back and change it. But, you CAN change the future. you have the book, you are getting ready...now make a plan, and stick to it.

When you want to reach for that drink, when that trigger is pulled, get on here instead! Read some of the threads, post your thoughts and feelings, get into the chat room. You will find someone who wants you to succeed in this journey!

Stay Strong! and post often!
BHOG

[CaptJBean]

new here and feeling down

Glad you are here. This is a very supportive home base.
Take the supps they will help you start getting your brain chemistry back in shape.
The alcohol that causes the depression is a part of what you are feeling.
And, you have to forgive yourself... love yourself... and in time your friend will do the same.

[Leolady]

new here and feeling down

bald headed old guy and CaptJBean
Thank you for your wise words and advice. I am starting to feel a bit better already and am grateful to you.
L

[fresh-start-at-36]

new here and feeling down

Hi Leolady.

Don't feel down. Many, if not most of us have said and done things that we wouldn't have had we been sober.

Trust me, I've had my fair share.

All the best & good luck with your friend.

Warm Regards

Brett.