WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

[sweetpea]

Hi to all you senior members :l

:goodjob: You all do a fantastic job in helping us newbies. I know I am nearly at my 500 post and have a fantastic group of supportive Crackers on the Firework thread but sometimes I do not have the time after I have written a long post to necessarily read loads of other post. It is not that I don't want to be supportive it is a time factor or sometimes if I have been a really naughty Pea I just want to hide and need to encourage myself to be more :bat and assertive.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that it would be really fantastic if you could copy over any posts from other threads that you think "God if I had thought or known about that X amount of time ago it would have helped me no end". I don't necessarily mean whole posts just vital bits of info that would help us newbies. Most posts as with the Firecrackers is about being supportive and being there for one another but sometimes I feel that vital bits of advice/support/information can get lost in the greater scheme of things.

So a challenge to all you seniors anything you post of see that could benefit us newbies please copy to this thread

Thank you so much in advance

Sweetpea :l:h

Hope I have not been too forward in asking your esteemed advice :heartsnflowers:

[Ripple]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

love this one..

wot a lovely puppy sweet pea. is that a bat smiley i see there near assertive! that sends a strong message..i see much support here and there is also other things going on. Support should be the focus, it is not always just that. just had add my pea. :thanks:

[sweetpea]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

lease: On reflection after reading my post if any one else has ideas/comments/information that they don't want being lost in another thread please copy over so we can all benefit form your experiences

:hallo::bigwink:

Loads of love Sweetpea :h:l Newbie or what!!!!!!!!

[hippie37]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

Hi Sweetpea!

A time for reflection I think. In response to your post I have reflected on my own sobriety today and although I am still evolving in it there are still key points I think that show a steady pattern throughout that I would like to share with you.


POINT 1. All members are 'newbies' in my eyes. We all learn from one another here and I think that goes for many members. Seniority means jack in my eyes. i could make a 1000 posts in the joke section and have learned nothing about sobriety and still be stumbling falling flat on my face!!. Of course, this is extreme and I'm just trying to make my point. There are of course those members who have made less than a 1000 posts and have been sober years. It makes me think of the AA mentality about newbies and old timers to be honest. There could be people, like I say, who are years sober but have never moved on with their lives. I know a a guy in AA who is 3 years sober but he has become an almost recluse. But he's sober!!!lol

POINT 2. A Lapse in my eyes NEVER means failure. There is so much we can learn from our failings if we choose to. Those that do, move forward and those that don't get stuck in the circle.

POINT 3. I needed to get off my ass and start doing things rather than expecting things to come to me.

POINT 4. Learning. Like in point 2. I found that becoming sober again had me questioning all kinds of things and not just psychologically either. I've learned so much about myself and the world being sober again and it can be dangerous to not have some outlet for these thoughts. forums being a good example and now adult education. All part of the evolutionary process in my eyes to becoming a sober human being again!!!lol

POINT 5. All accomplishments, no matter how small, deserve rewarding. We expose ourselves so much in order to get sober that things we may of taken for granted in the past become quite big issues to us. To others these simple acknowledgments of doing something positive in their lives is overlooked as they are already accustomed to them; so no great feat in their eyes. A personal example of this was me sharing my story here of being accepted to study with the Open University. I think we need to share the good things in our lives just as much as sharing our fears and failings too. I'm off to buy a new CD on Thursday as a reward to myself for this.!!!

POINT 6. continuing from point 1 slightly. The key for me is that learning to live sober again takes time. It ain't gonna happen overnight and we need to live not exist sober. Both my slips were probably due to this. Although there were other factors involved I think I would of been able to handle them slightly better if I had been moving forwards with my life.

POINT 7. NEVER get complacent!!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Bambi]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

Great post Hippie! What a wonderful insight you have discovered on your path. I will come back and read this again and again on my journey.

I loved learning to be a "human" again and not waiting for things to come to me...both of those are things I need to work on.

Thanks for sharing. You are doing an awesome job, keep up the great work!
Hugs, Bambi

[Bambi]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

Great thread Sweetpea!

Hi Sweetpea,

Thanks for starting this thread! Hopefully we will all get wonderful responses to help us ALL!

Have a wonderful day everyone!
Bambi

[disapprovingcat]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

I don't know if I can add much since I'm a newbie too, though I've got 63 days AF.

My best advice is about the 5-6 pm urge that many of us get. It's habit, end of day, start of evening, making dinner, alone for a bit in the kitchen - all of those things. And that NAG that showed up at that hour was and is by far the most persistent.

I pour a tall juice on ice when the voice starts. The voice says, "wouldn't you like some vodka in that? you like the taste and the numbness on your lips, go ahead and have one, it will just be one." and I reply "really?" and it sounds sarcastic like chandler bing (in my head) :H and I walk away. Once I say no to the first one, I don't really think about the rest.

I did drink a lot of flavored teas in the beginning, shocking my tongue with lots of flavors seemed to help in the transition.

Even though you've still got the IMP on your shoulder, after a few weeks your HABIT has been broken and you're much more in charge.

I am still not sure if I can control the imp by moderating, so for now I stay AF.

DC

[Janice]

WORDS OF WISDOM/ADVICE FROM SENIOR MEMBERS

Well I've still got a while to go before I become a senior...however at the end of this week I will have been here at MWO for one year and I have 56 AF days to date. The following is part of a post from Bear who posted on my thread "The Abstinence Pledge or ODAT" on Longterm Abstainers. I would urge all newbies to read that thread from beginning to end. I printed off this part of his post and keep it in my purse, I often read it........its played a big part in my 56days. Thanks again Bear.

If I were trying to pick out a word to describe why I am able to stay sober and my cravings are gone it would be SURRENDER. Quit trying to control something, which is uncontrollable. Become a new person. Drinking is not an option for me. Nothing is more important than my sobriety. NOTHING. Everything in my life I love and cherish would once again be nothing if I were drunk again. If I have to give up my job, my house, my car, even my wife; I must not drink. If I were to start drinking I would lose them all anyway. This sobriety is the kinder gentler way.

Janicexxx