NEWBIE! HEEELP!

[dixie]

I feel so relieved that I have found this site! I feel like crying as am so desperate. My story, as a southern african, we are generally described as VERY social drinkers but my habit has definitely become extreme over the last few months. My story is pretty much like the founders story. The stage where I am now at is come 6pm I need that "fix" to just relax generally in the form of anything that goes as long as I get that buzz. My problem is that I now take it to the extreme wherein I suffer loss of memory etc and of course am mortified the next day until I start to feel better, then convince myself that its ok to have a shot of whiskey but it isnt just one. I am married with 2 children (4yr & 1 yr). My husband is very concerned but I fob him off with some excuse or other which keeps him at bay for a while. My confidence is at an all time low, i feel mentally & physically drained and a complete and utter failure. To other people I'm outgoing, busy, confident - no-one would even hazard a guess at the mess I am inside! I did seek medical help once but was told that I was fine & just needed will-power & to call the AA which I won't do as I live in a small town in the Middle East. I'm not sure if I would call myself an alcoholic or alcohol dependent probably the latter although its irrelevant. I want and desperately need to get the old "me" back, to be a better mother and a better wife. Alcohol seems to give me the confidence that I lack and come 6pm I really do need that drink. I did think of phoning the AA here to get me through the 6pm craving but I cant bring myself to. Where do I go from here? The Health Shop looks overwhelming with so many products. What do I start with? Personally, I think I need to abstain altogether. I'm so desperate that I even go to diocors to get my liver tested in the hope that they tell me its damaged which will in turn force me to quit - thats how bad it ahs become. I have 2 beautiful healthy kids and a wonderful husband and I know that if I carry on, I will eventually destroy my family.
PLEASE HELP!

[sweetpea]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Dixie

I really feel for you and relate to so much of what you are saying. Firstly you are in the right place to get loads of support so hang on in there. Firstly what I would advise is that you down load Roberta Jewell?s book, My Way Out. In the book she gives loads of advice. I purchased the vitamins, L-glutamine powder and Kudzu that are recommended. I also bought the hypno DVDs and listened to them. The combination of the three together with the support from the people on these boards enabled me to do 30 Alcohol Free days. Keep reading and posting on the boards because there will always be someone 24/7 who will give help and advice.

Keep strong - you will make it

Sweetpea :l

[dixie]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Thanks for this. I really need it. Am crying my eyes now. Just to be able to open up is HUGE relief. I really want to be able to get some of the vitamins today. Its a frame of mind thing. Do you have the medical/proper names of the medicine/vitamins that I may be able to get from a pharmacy here? I will order the book etc but that will obviously take a couple of weeks as I live in Bahrain. I'm terrified of this evening coming. I NEED to get through tonight. My husband has left on business so my resolve is possibly not going to be as strong as it would've been had he been here. Tks for listening!

[Popeye]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Hi Dixie,
I was pretty much in the same situation when I came here 18 months ago. I hated the person I was. I had no self-esteem and I couldn't see a way out. I googled up 'problem drinkers' and up popped this place.
The usual advice is to get your hands on a copy of the book and see what you think. It's not a rigid list of do's and don't's,. It's very flexible and you can use any parts of the programme you feel will help. Many people here are taking all the medication and suppliments to help them, and some are using just will-power, and the support of the wonderful community we have here. While you're deciding what to do, read the posts. There are many I'm sure you can relate to and will help. If you're feeling bad, do what you did and ask for help and people will be along to support you.
I am a completely different man now. No way am I 'cured', but I can stand up and look the world in the eye with a new and growing self-respect.
Goos luck to you and I hope you find what you seek.

[Popeye]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

As for tonight stay on here.
I really can be a fun way to pass an evening. You'll 'meet' some really nice people. Some of the threads are hilarious and it'll keep you busy. Just a thought.

[sweetpea]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Dixie

You should be able to get the vitamins from a health food store. I did it in the UK because of the length of time it was going to take for them to come from the USA

I bought
L-Glutamine in the powder form (body builders use it so it should be freely available). I bought it in th powder form and put 1 teaspoon under the tongue 3 times a day before meals

Kudzu 500mg

Kalms tablets (they help you relax)

Magnesium 250mg

Milk Thistle 175mg

Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg

All the above may not be as strong as the ones you can order on line but they will get you going until the others arrive if you want the stronger version (they worked for me so I never bothered ordering the stronger ones)

RJ book can be down loaded but I am not sure how you go about it

Hope that helps

Sweetpea :l

[dixie]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

U r both stars. Thanks so much! Just downloaded the book so here goes!

[sweetpea]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

:goodjob: Dixie I think you will find the book of tremendous help - Incidentally I cried all the way through while I was reading it so have hanky ready :l

Sweetpea xx

[paula]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Hello Dixie and welcome. I can't add to the advice previously given, I do know how you feel, and wish
you well.
Paula.

[dixie]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Am now looking at all the ingredients that I need. We don't get Nutritech All One powder in Bahrain. What would be a good substitute from GNC?

[jinja]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Hey Dixie & welcome!
I was where u r a month ago. Desperate to change, but paralysed at the same time! I managed 2 source most supplements locally, but Kudzu was difficult! As they say here - one day at a time. Take it slowly - if u slip, it doesn't matter. Just get back up & carry on. I'm counting all AF days even if they are not consecutive. My next goal will be consecutive days - when I'm stronger & more confident! Of the last 32 days, 25 have been AF!! You can do this sweetie!! Good luck!!

Take care
xx

[bald headed old guy]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Dixie,
Your story is much like mine and so many others on here! many good suggestions have been posted above mine, so I will not repeat any of them. One of the things I found very helpful was to make a substitution in what I drink, I seemed to need that glass in my hand from the minute I got home from work each day. So instead of mixing a martini, I mix a cranberry juice and soda as soon as I get home, and I keep it going until close to bedtime. That way I don't have an empty glass to put the martini in!
Spousal supprt can be wonderful, if he wants to join in and help you, but this is really something you can only do for yourself.. it sounds like you are really ready to make the change. Good luck, post often, read a lot, get in the chat room if you are so minded..it can be funny and helpful at the same time.
Stay Strong!
BHOG

[caseaday]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Dixie,

Finding this site has been a stroke of luck for you! I know because it has been the best thing that has happened to me in years. I am now on day 10 of AF and feeling much better about myself. Ten days ago I had been averaging 24 beers per day for a very long period of time. The first few days of going AF was physically hard for me. I had the shakes, tremors, sweats, wild thoughts, headaches, fear of dying, etc. It was horrible! The good news for you is that it will be much easier for you physically as you most likely have not been consuming like I had.

However, on day 6 something changed. I was busy working in the yard, had a great dinner, and went to bed. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that I had not even considered drinking AL!

As you begin your journey, just remember that you are only a few short days away from feeling better, having a clear mind, and enjoying life at a much higher level.

In addition to the advice that the others have given you, I would offer the following...get mad at AL and not at yourself. I mean really, really, really mad at him. And, be stubborn! Be the most stubborn person that you have ever been in your entire life! If someone was going to break into your home and steal all of your belongings I bet that you would kick their butt! So, get stubborn and kick AL's butt right out the door!

Good luck and keep posting...

[dixie]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Wow, thanks for all the kind words and support. It really is overwhelming. Its now 7.10pm here an have so managed to avoid the 6pm fix. I took my kids to the playground bathed & fed-them (which my maid normally does whilst I would sneak the drinks in!) My baby is now in bed asleep with my 4 year old to follow soon. I have to say that its been like a "pavlov's dog" experience and thoughts of a drink always lurking. I feel happy that I haven't succumbed to the open bottle of wine in the fridge and refuse to remove it as reminder to myself - I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME & ONLY ME ALONE. Normally the bottle would be finished by now with little or no food just to get the desired effect and then on auto-pilot til passing out in bed. Day 1 - one step at a time. Off to pour myself a grapefruit juice and sparkling water. Yes, I think its very important to have that glass with you at first. Have also eaten a lot more as a substitute. Am seeing a nutritionist tomorrow so going on a healthy eating plan (she also told me that my kidneys are inflamed - so you only had 2 glasses of red wine, did you? Effing embarrassing!). Looking forward to settling in tonight to read the book. I'll catch you all in the am if not before.
Can't tell you what the support means - you just feel so alone, well you all know that anyway.
Good night, Bon Nuit, Tot Siens, Hambe Khale
xxx

By the way Jinja heard Jhb is FREEZING!!! Glad there's a fellow South African (for selfish reasons only of course!). I thinks its only the Zimbo's who can outdrink our Nation!

[caseaday]

NEWBIE! HEEELP!

Sounds like you are off to a great start! Keep us posted!