Scared

[evie]

Hi again
I'm not doing very well here. done 2 nights in the past week with no al. ( compared to every one here that is pants I know!) I was planning another tonight and was going out. My hubby just phoned to say he'll be back late from work (so I can't go out)so I'm panicking and craving al etc etc. Due to pick the kids up now and the next 4 hour slog of getting them sorted starts. I want off this treadmill! I was feeling so positive this morning now its going again. sorry to be such a downer.
eviexx

[LVT25]

Scared

Hi evie--

Ok, what can you do to get over the feelings of panic and craving?? First, get the kids. Maybe find something AF to drink and eat, that ALWAYS helps me. I don't know what age your kids are, but maybe you can do something that involves them, or would it be better to see if they can give you a little time to yourself to read, take a bath??? Can you go for a walk? It's morning her, so I'm a little slow yet. Keep posting and just don't give in ok? You know you'll feel worse if you do. Hang in there!!:l

[bald headed old guy]

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Evie,
The "witching hour" has always been a big problem for most of us, so welcome to the club! I know it was HUGE for me. I do not have children at home anymore, but I do remember well the hectic evenings of trying to get them taken care of and getting dinner on the table, etc., and how much I used to look forward to my adult beverage. But, if you want to become AF or moderate, you will want to overcome the "witching hour." I found that drinking something was pretty important..maybe it was the physc feeling of having a glass in my hand, or close at hand. So what I started doing was mixing cranberry juice and soda, literraly as soon as I get home, and start drinking it instead of AL. Plus getting my mind around anything other than drinking. I pushed myself to get out of the habits that I used to follow when I was drinking.

Good Luck! and please keep posting, let us know how you are doing!

Stay Strong!

BHOG

[caseaday]

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Evie,

I agree with BHOG in the fact that you need to replace AL with something else today. In my case it has been sugar free lemonade. Having a glass in my hand replaces the can of beer that I carried everywhere I went in my home. I could't get more than a few feet from my beer before I had to retrieve it and take it into the next room.

Also, try to calm youself down as much as you can. Concentrate on reducing your heart rate by lying still on a bed or sofa when you begin to feel agitated. Clear your mind. Don't pace around the house as it will only increase the intensity of thoughts going through your mind.

Focus on spending time with your children by having them make suggestions on what they want to do tonight. Go for a walk, play a game, watch their favorite show. They will have a million things that they will want to do with you.

When you really feel bad get on this site and start reading and posting. You will get great advice, learn a lot and it will be bedtime before you know it.

If you have already started to drink today, Just Stop. You will be rewarded tomorrow for your efforts over the next few hours!

[jinja]

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Hey Evie, my tipple of the moment is sugar free tonic w/kola tonic cordial. Get thro about a 800mls a night!! Will deal w/that obsession another time! Also, as the others say - busy, busy, busy. Kids can be a trigger - well, for me atleast. Be kind 2 yourself, if your not the best mum in the world today, it doesn't matter! TLC for you!!

Good luck

Take care
xx.

[Beck]

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Evie,

I understand your witching hour situation. I have 4 kids and used to drink from 4-7pm every night (unless I needed to drive). It is tough...they just all needed my attention when I needed to be cooking dinner, etc. To get sober, I drank tons of herbal tea. It was my substitute drink. I think the reason that I felt the need to drink at this time is that I was trying to be all things to all people. What has helped me stay sober is that one night when I really really wanted to drink, I started to laugh instead. I turned on some loud music and acted silly with the youngest (who really just wanted to hang out with me). Since then, I have just decided to embrace the chaos. It is still chaos and I am a perfectionist at heart...but I have now settled for just doing the best I can while injecting a little fun.

In short...
a substitute beverage, a few deep breaths, patience with yourself and your kids...after a few nights it will get easier.

Beck

[evie]

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I've failed. Went into town to get football boots for my 7 year old and got so stressed. My 2 year old was refusing to get in her buggy. Find it a nightmare. Bought a bottle of wine on the way home and have had a glass. Feel like I'm letting people down but I know its just myself.
Need to try harder tomorrow....

[evie]

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Beck-
I just reallly read your post and it made sense! I'm going to let it sink in. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt like me! I feel like I'm giving out constantly! al is my reward except its not really I know that now...its a lie ive believed for a long time...
Thank you

[Finding My Self]

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Evie - Hi..... Tomorrow is another day. Don't finish that bottle - that's all! Only coz it'll just make tomorrow all the harder...feeling poo and all.

We've been there. SO many of us. Never give up....a day at a time....and then you'll find it gets easier and easier. Honest.

All the very best to you.
Love
FMS xx

[Beck]

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Evie,

Glad if I've helped. Good luck tomorrow. Let me know how it goes...
Beck

[happydog]

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Hi Evie,

I'm on day11 Af...I to feel always positive in the morning and feeling good inside me...the good think now im not drinking is that, i dont need lots of sleep during the day on and of.

But when the afternoon or evening comes i find it hard i still need that sleep even if i dont feel tired maybe because i feel down in myself or maybe i craving for that drink in the back of my mind...

Sooo i push myself and go out for a bike ride Or a jog to make me feel refresh inside my head... works wonders good fresh air.

we all learn from falling makes us more stronger and detemined to fight this adicition.
like finding myself said one day at a time.

wishing you all the best of luck.x

Love
Teardrop.x

[Ripple]

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Please..

riding is good, make sure you wear HELMET! :happyheart: no need for bloody accidents to happen! you sound good Teardrop, keep it up..:goodjob:

[keeta]

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evie,
I can relate to kid stress, and to trying to be all things to all people, EXCEPT my self.

I too struggle with the chaos, and often find it too much to cope with. I have used alcohol as a coping tool and self medicator for so long, I need to retrain my brain.

Beck...what good advice. I am a perfectionist also, and have a hard time with not being in control of every little thing.

No great advice from my end, evie, but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

Big hugs,
K

[Beck]

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Keeta,

I think it is about patience, perspective and humor. And do something just for you today. I found that I got completely lost somehow - doing for others but not for me. I decided to be the main character in my own life again and it has made all the difference.

Might as well embrace the chaos b/c you're not going to change it. Your job is to change how you respond to it. Good Luck.

Beck


Beck

[Guest]

Scared

I don't have kids myself - but do have other stresses and strains, things that pee me off etc.

BUT

I do know that AL does not make any situation better and often only leads to feeling worse wether it be the next day or immediately.