Getting discouraged....

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

Bravo Kathy, well said!!

Syd, I struggle, I hated most of today!!! I am going out on a date with my dear husband and am mad as hell that I don't get to have a glass of wine! Actually, I am mad as hell that I WANT a glass of wine....BIG difference!! I am only at 75 topa also, and am still having cravings. No I am not drinking, but that is for many reasons! It has been hard, and newbies need to know that this IS NOT A MAGIC BULLET!! It does take will power and determination!

Please don't give up, and PLEASE don't feel like you can't come here and tell what it works and what doesn't. How else are we all going to learn!!

Hang in there Syd!! Perhaps the topa will kick in at a higher dose. I go up to 100mg tomorrow, and am thankful for it happening before Easter!

And if topa ends up not being for you maybe the campral is the one that will work. At any rate....don't leave the boards....that's what we are all here for!!

Happy Easter!!

Donna

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

Hey Sid, I hear ya.
I, too am having doubts. But more for the need for me to get rid of a lot of s**t and change my outlook.
I'm finding that a struggle.
The cravings are still there, but I'm managing.
You'll manage too - because you do care.
Helen

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

Hey, Hey, Hey, Just a minute...Don't you think there's a reason we're all here in the first place? I don't think it's because we're all so successful at "normal" every day life...!HA
I think it's pretty neat that such a place is here(thanks again RJ!...many hugs...),we are not like other people. But, by the "Grace of God" here we are... It takes all kinds, just the fact that everyone here; is drawn to this place for pretty much the same reasons, ...I find that very powerful in itself. Sorry, I'm rambling, but it makes sense to me.....Hugs, Judie

If we don't stick around, these boards won't exist. Gee don't I have a sense of "self Importance!" Ha

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

I will add this as well Sydney. Are you doing all of the aspects of MWO. The all on powder, cds, exercize, all of the supps and titrated up on topa?

If your aren't, and don't worry, a lot of us didn't in the end, you might want to rethink your program. Doing MWO 100% is so key. I too tried to just do the topa and a few supps with continual frustration. Don't worry, it took me 7 months to get here-you have to be patient.

Some tips.

1. If you are tolerating the topa well, maybe you could titrate up quicker.

2. Make sure you are doing all of the aspects of the program.

3. Remember, like someone else said, Topa is not a magic bullet. You have to be strong too. It will help, but ultimately all the hard work is up to you.

If you invest 100% in this program, and dedicate yourself to a routine of taking the supps, topa, listening to the cds and exercize, trust me, you will see a difference!

-Nina

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

OK,
Thank you all. I guess I thought it would just be like this majic switch!! I am working the program with the exception of all of the exercise. But everything else exactly!!
Kathy you are right, I am extremely impatient!!!! I can tell you are a therapist. I mean that in a good way. But I truly didnt want to bring my whining self here and scare others away. I hope you understand what I was trying to say. I will continue this fight, and believe me that is what it is. I cannot wait until I come here and say 3 days no alcohol, and mean it was easy. Thanks to you all.
And Kathy you are right. I rarely ask for help, it is really hard for me, I dont know why that is. People usually come to me with their problems, so this feels different. Not that I dont have them, I have tons of them, but I am usually too emabarrased to tell people. Thank You so much.

Hugs to all
Syd

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

I have the same problem, Syd! It's really hard for me to ask for help! I'm learning though, and people are better than I think when I do, at least most of the time. That is especially true on this board! Glad you don't hold my being a therapist against me!:lol I can't help myself sometimes!:rollin

Love, Kathy

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

Hi Syd, I would reapeat what you have heard from our gang here at MWO. I thought there would be a miracle cure as well when I started here. I had so many slipups that I too thought I would be one of those people this wouldn't work for. Even with the Topomax the first time and all other eelements of the program I kept drinking and what I realized after some time was that even though some part of me wanted to stop and desperately wanted to stop another part of me just wasn't ready. I didn't follow the part of the program that suggested thirty days absistence, I couldn't even have done two at the beginning and so I fooled myself into believing i was starting to control my drinking when really I wasn't. It took me a long time and a mental shift and I knew that the first thing I had to do was stop drinking. I decided not to worry about whether I would ever drink again or not that was way too big for me. I needed to just stop drinking and clear my head and that was really the extent of my goal. I never knew I was going to get to nearly five weeks and yet here I am, I still don't know what my life plan is for this but I don't know what my life plan is for a lot of things so that is okay.

Hope that helps Syd. Maybe that is why that old saying "one day at a time" really is the way to start when you think about drinking.

More practically with the supps and the medication, I would suggest getting the topa to a higher level and if you are not taking all-in-one to take it or take a protein shake that has similiar ingredients as the combinations seem to really help.

Hang in there though it will come together.

Yvonne

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: No I am NOT impatient, I am NOT impatient (stomp, stomp)

Yvonne,
That makes total sense, and no, I have not considered doing the abstinece route in conjuction. I dont think I am capable at this point. I know that sounds horrible, but I just dont think I am ready. If I could I would, trust me. This is why I turned here to give me the tools to be able to do that so hopefully I will get there in time. I hope that makes sense.
I can say this, that this group of people on this board is the most supportive, loving ,kind, caring group that I have ever met. I thank God that he led me here. Thank You all so much for you help and inspiration and thank you to the founders!!!!

I feel a deep sense of gratitude.

Much respect,

Syd

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

I feel your pain

Sydney, I feel like I'm in the exact same place. While I have tried everything but not done the meds yet, the supps do not seem to curb my cravings. I guess I have alcohol imbedded in my mind to deeply. I'm working on it though. Maybe I'll try stepping up the exercise a notch, it cant hurt.

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: I feel your pain

Hi noone,
(ooh i am sorry, but that is hard for me to address you by that scrren name )
I so understand what you mean. We are probably at the same place in our lives. Have you tried getting the topa? I did exercise today, and I can tell you that it did help, BIG TIME. I felt so much better afterwards.
I read through several of your posts, and you sound like a very caring person, and it absolutely feels like someone is punching me in my stomach when i see Your screen name. Do you think you may want to register under another name ??? Just a thought..... Please, come join us. We could maybe take this journey together. I am not trying to put pressure on you, because I know how much I hate that when people put pressure on me, honestly, but just give it some thought. You sound like you have so much to offer this group. I will be honest, I dont know that I can address you by that name, so from now on I will refrain from using your screen name in the text if that is ok with you. Please dont take offense.


Much Respect,
syd

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: I feel your pain

Noone, you really do need another name because you are definitely someone.

I know it is a chunk of change, but consider getting the CDs, also consider how much you have been spending on alcohol, the CDS go a long way toward helping
"reprogram" your brain.

It's a long-ingrained pattern: get home, get alcohol.

New pattern: get home, check MWO, do CDs, etc.

Hugs, stick with us please. A lot of success, at least on my part.

Ter

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

Re: I feel your pain

Kitkat,
I took a different approach than outlined in the book. Maybe due to my own personal history, but I did not want to screw this up, and I wanted time for my body to adjust to all of the change, so I thought, "Why on Earth should I try to stop drinking or moderate at the start of this 12 weeks just because some other people do?"

Instead, I decided to just start on the program with the mindset of an open-minded skeptic. I decided to see how the program worked, and if it did, to select a period of 6 weeks of abstinence once I reached a level of Topamax dosage (as well as all other parts) into the program that seemed most effective, or where I felt comfortable with the idea of 6 weeks of no booze, or as comfortable as possible. I wanted the Topamax to take the anxiety edge off, and so far it seems to be doing that.

I am (was) a moderate to heavy (depending on your definitions) drinker of bourbon for the last 8-10 years (depending on whom you talk to).

I just increased to 125mg this last Friday, run 6 days per week along with weightlifting 2-3 times. Here?s what I had to drink the last week:

Sunday night--1 beer with diner
Saturday night--1 small glass wine
Friday night--2 small glass wine
Thursday?nothing
Wednesday? 3 bourbons
Tuesday?3 bourbons
Monday--2.5 bourbons
Sunday ?1 bourbon

Now, Monday ?Wednesday is the most I have had to drink since starting the program. In fact, that Tuesday and Wednesday are the only days I have ever had 3 bourbons in a day since on the program. (A day before the program would be 2-6)

Did I fell like crap the first 3 days of the week? You bet I did. : I call that the Topahangover, and you can?t drink it away either, in case you have not discovered. >D
By the way, I am going through an incredible amount of stress in my life right now. Drinking it away last Monday-Wednesday did not work. The old me would not have figured that out even come Sunday night, he just would have dealt with it.

[Guest]

Getting discouraged....

just checking in

Hi guys

Just checking in to see how eveyone is doing? Any improvement anyone. I am holding steady,... maybe some improvement in my physical cravings, but mental are still there. Havent given up though. Not yet.
Thanks for the ear.

Sydney
(since there are 2 syds here now i think I will post with my full screne name so we can remain separate)