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    Please help me

    I have tried, unsuccessfully, to give it up. My husband drinks, but, does not have "the bug" like I do. Where do you start?????

    #2
    Please help me

    Hi, Cheebs. I feel your frustration. We've all ask that question of ourselves many, many times.

    I see that you joined in November but have only posted a few times. Well right here, is where you start. You need to check in with this amazing support group as often as possible. Preferably everyday and especially if you are stressed or feel vulnerable. There is always someone logged on who can jump on and help.

    Do you have to the book or take any supplements? They are very important. You can quit without them, but it's much easier with them.

    What is your goal? Tell us more and maybe we can help you set up a plan. Right now, just be in the moment and decide not to drink. Take it one day at a time (ODAT). Hell, take in one hour or one minute at a time. Whatever it takes.

    Good luck. We are here for you, but you got to be here for us to help.

    Love, Me
    :l
    Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

    Comment


      #3
      Please help me

      Cheebs;316594 wrote: I have tried, unsuccessfully, to give it up. My husband drinks, but, does not have "the bug" like I do. Where do you start?????
      Dear Cheebs..as Thankful said everything is right here for you to begin. The support and all the fixings in one package. NO matter how many times it takes it can be accomplished....to :stop:drinking. Many of us here are fighting off right now the desires of the habit. Its a daily ritual. :teeter: help is here for the asking. :welcome:

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        #4
        Please help me

        Cheebs;316594 wrote: I have tried, unsuccessfully, to give it up. My husband drinks, but, does not have "the bug" like I do. Where do you start?????
        Cheebs
        Welcome.
        The supplements are your tools to fight the cravings.
        This forum is also a powerful tool to add to your personal arsenal.
        The logest journey starts with the first step and then the next.

        Everyone else in my family drinks too and there is AL all over the house.
        Tell your Hub that you need to quit for your sake and he will probably
        make it easier for you, but you will still find AL every where.

        you have made the first step, keep making more positive steps and
        if you make a misstep, no worries, no guilt, dust yourself off and
        start again.

        Remember, you have all of us. Check out the FAQ.

        with healing and health, Sam

        Comment


          #5
          Please help me

          Thank you very much for your responses. I joined in Nov but, after 10 days, I got too busy to visit the site. How's that for an excuse!!! I drink 1-2 bottles of wine EVERYDAY. I did get the supplements but ran out of Kudzu and that was that. I have the book. It has accumulated about an inch of dust. I don't feel sorry for myself, I just need to find strength to stop this crazy and insane life I have been living. I used to pride myself that I would never go back in time and change any decisions I made, that is impossible now. I want to feel alive, loved and needed. It seems that all around me, I have allowed friends and family to go about their business without me. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't have a goal. I think, for me, that is almost like a commitment and I don't know if I can do that right now. I feel sooooo good when I don't drink, it is insane that I CHOOSE to wake up feeling like crap everyday. I just don't get it.

          Comment


            #6
            Please help me

            Cheebs

            Start with you, and your choices for life. This is a selfish disease and requires what you may consider a selfish remedy. When you get and stay sober only then can you become able to offer others - meaning family, friends and other people, all the good things you have.

            I found this difficult at first - wanted to continue charging round 'pleasing' others, all the time. Here's the crunch though - drinking we are a mess and simply don't please anyone, least of all yourself.

            So take your time. ODAT. Stay in the day.

            Today you can chose not to drink, tommorrow is yet another day.

            Comment


              #7
              Please help me

              ok today I am choosing. I don't know why I am crying.

              Comment


                #8
                Please help me

                Hi Cheebs,

                You referred to friends and family going about their business without you...

                That may be a case of perception or reality. What I have found in my own experience is that AL continues to make the world a smaller and smaller place day by day and year by year. It is amazing how AL can take a person who is adventurous and active and eventually confine that person to their home - hiding their drinking, having paranoid thoughts, angry because everyone else is so happy, laundry undone, dishes piling up in the sink and projects unfinished. AL eventually makes you feel that you are trapped behind a thick sheet of glass banging as hard as you can but no one can hear you.

                A couple of months ago I was at a bar with friends having a great time and looked across to see a few tables where there was no AL. I actually felt sorry for them. I was thinking "those poor people, why would they waste their money going to a sports bar and not drink - they must not be having much fun". I really thought that they were wishing they could drink like us. Now I understand that they were actually having fun and probably didn't even pay attention to our loud and boisterous table!

                Funny what AL can do to your head. My guess is that your family is wondering why you haven't been engaging and participating in life as much as you used to. Going AF will help you shatter the glass and step into a larger world.

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                  #9
                  Please help me

                  Cheebs,
                  I wish I had great words of wisdom....a CURE for us all, but the truth is....you can take all the supps, read, post, etc.....but at the end of the day, what will get you through this is hard darn work and a ton of REAL "want to". All the tools in the world will not "fix us" without a bunch of hard darn work. This venture is not easy, but we can do it. Chin up and lean as much as you need to keep you away from the bottle. Use the tools, they do make your fight easier.
                  Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Please help me

                    I am here because I chose to be here and I accept that. I will lean very hard on this website and all of you. I am up for hard damn work. I don't feel weak and scared. I am worried that I will do what I did in November and just bail out after ten or so days. But, right now I will only worry about today. I love the anaogy of the thick pane of glass. I feel like will not even crack yet but, I have hope. I amgoing to reorder the supplements and dust off the book tonight after work. Did you have to stay away from your life for a while? I felt that I needed to be so incredibly alone yesterday that I stayed at a hotel. Just me and my wine. Although, I only had one bottle....yea for me:upset:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Please help me

                      Cheebs ......... if it was easy this website wouldn't even exist ..........

                      You have made the right step by coming here and addmitting how you feel ....

                      I have friends who drink 1-2 bottles of wine every night, and others who share a large bottle of whisky everynight but because they manage to get to work everyday think that they don't have a problem....

                      You like the rest of us here have realised and are getting the help that they need ......

                      Check in as often as you can, and get those supps ordered they really do work .......

                      BB xx
                      sigpicXXX

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Please help me

                        Cheebs,

                        When I decided to go AF I did find that I needed to be alone. I knew that I was going to be experiencing heavy withdrawal and that friends and family would be wondering why I was acting so strange! I had the luxury of going to my other home in the country where I could isolate myself and concentrate. Spent probably 10 hours a day on this site to keep my mind straight ant focused. It really was a life saver.

                        All people are different some may want to keep their norman schedule, some may rely on a friend, some may want to be by themselves in private.

                        Take care, you are on the right path

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                          #13
                          Please help me

                          I need help to. I try and always quit. I have let alcohol take control of my life. Sometimes I think I need to be locked up somewhere to quit. I can't, I work.

                          I am worried that I will have side affects, does everyone.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Please help me

                            Thank you for supporting me. I am at work and I cannot concentrate because I am reading the threads. It truly is amazing how very similar our experiences seem. Almost woven together. I need to be here and I wish I had a country home but, I will settle for chasing everyone out of the house for the weekend.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Please help me

                              wantto- I went yesterday to get a blood test because I am so paranoid that I have destroyed my internal organs. I see my Doc on Tuesday. Let's keep talking. It really makes me feel better. I guess why this is here.....

                              Comment

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