THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

[Seto]

THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

Hi everyone and thank you for your kind replies
Missy64 I feel isolated a lot of the time too. I put on a front with my family (apart from my husband of course). My sisters are not really drinkers and would be shocked if they found out the extent of my problem. Sometimes I am shocked by what I have consumed the night before. I can't relate to myself when I lose control as I am such a different person without AL, like Jackyl and Hyde (spelling??), that's what my husband says!!! I want to be me all the time!!! Last night I managed AF, I found it ok, watched a DVD and then read for a while before dropping off to sleep. I woke this morning feeling proud I had managed it. My little ones benefit from it also as I don't feel that guilt/depression/paranoia thing. I plan to get through my second day AF by watching another DVD (love thrillers) and maybe treating myself to some ice cream or chocolate. UKblonde thanks for caring. I know exactly what you mean about being able to get Al if you really want it. BUT believe in me I can't have it at all. Firstly I am not able to go out alone as it is really dangerous, secondly absolutely none of the family (who are huge) drink, my husband carries all the money, so it really can't happen. I have chosen to go there as a kind of rehab as I know its impossible. What I am worried about is coming home and how I go about never returning to my old ways. I will deal with this later though and at the moment concentrate on today. Once again thank you all for caring, you really saved me yesterday in the depths of my depression after bingeing, I read and posted and before I knew it I was feeling more positive so THANK YOU XXXXXSeto

[JLMDetermined]

THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

Seto - so many of us can relate to what you're going through. We've been there and perhaps are still there. I hear people say alcohol is a disease of relationships, and I think I now believe it. My kids, 18 and 17, are so happy when I don't drink, even for just a day. My boyfriend, of almost 2 years, has put our relationship on HOLD until I get myself straightened out. I'm not sure he believes I will be able to do it, because I've been saying I am for 2 years and haven't done it. Who could blame him. I'm hopeful I can salvage our relationship. I'm just too old for this drama! But, this is something you have to do for yourself first, or it will not work. If you do it for someone else you will most likely relapse.

I partnered with Cheebs yesterday to go AF. We kept each other strong and I made it through; I hope she did too. I'm going to go AF again today, I'm determined. It's true, you feel so much better in the morning. Isn't it nice to have a clear head?

Keep thinking about all the positives. Alcohol is not worth it!!!

:goodluck:

[Seto]

THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

Hi JLMDetermined
Thanks for the advice. I am most certainly doing this for me. I have come to this realisation entirely on my own. You are right in that you have to do it for yourself first. See, my husband has wanted me to stop drinking since we met (about 11 years ago now), he always said drinking didn't suit me and that I was so different when drunk. He has stuck by me through this and will support me 100% in stopping as it was all he ever wanted. So you see it has took me 11 years to come to realise that I do have a problem and that I have to sort it out. My father is an alcoholic (in denial though) and I can see what it is doing to him physically and mentally and I sure don't want to end up like that. I have so many reasons for stopping, just can't find the time to put them all down - they all involve me though. I have relapsed in the past, most recently Saturday, every day is a learning curve for me and i am getting stronger each time it happens. I feel this time may be different. Wish me luck. I wish you all the best of luck and strength in your journey and hope you can sort your relationship problems out. Thanks for caring SetoXXX

[JLMDetermined]

THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

Thanks and enjoy your retreat. Wish I was going...

[janedunn26]

THIRD TIME LUCKY? PLEASE HELP

Seto - Want should write a book. I wish I could add some support to all the support given above but I can't think of anything more. All I can share is that I am a mother of a 9 year old and I have spent her entire life sharing the same feelings of guilt as you with regard to my drinking. I have tried to cut back many time. I am on day 14 AF and am feeling really good and have even toyed with moderating in the future but after reading your posts and Want's posts I realize that I am kidding myself.

It just proves to me how much I need this site because it "keeps it real".
Good luck Seto. We'll all be here along your journey.