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    Newbie, AF 13 days

    Hi,

    I'm new here and thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Jane. I've been drinking daily for at least 9 years, 6 months. I know that because that is how old my daughter is and that is when my drinking escalated. I drank (strange to put it in past tense) one to two bottles of wine daily, spent less and less time doing things with my daughter in the evening because it interfered with my drinking time. Of course, I certainly did not admit to myself that was the reason. I have a demanding job and my reason was that I was exhausted from a long day at work, or coming down with a cold, or any other excuse I could make to stay home with my bottle of wine and let my husband or sitter run our daughter to whatever activities she may have. This has led to tremendous guilt, depression, self-loathing, and isolation.

    About 2 months ago I found this site and have been reading posts frequently. I ordered the book, the hypnosis tapes, supplements, and Topamax. Interestingly, a little over a year ago, I had a friend who took Topamax for migraine headaches and lost about 15 lbs. I had another friend who was actually prescribed it for weight loss. I am someone always looking for a quick fix to lose 10 lbs so I started Topamax for weight loss and not only did I lose 10 lbs but noticed that I would leave half full glasses of wine on the counter before going to bed. Something I would never do before! At that time I was not interested in becoming AF, nor did I have the OTHER tools at my disposal to become sober. I just noticed that I drank less while I was on it. I only stayed on it a couple of months and went off of it and was back to my usual ways.

    Now, I have been doing this program for the most part and I am on day 13 AF. For me, the keys to my sobriety thus far are prioritized below:

    1. THIS SITE!!! Even though I haven't posted, the messages I have read and inspiration I have gained through other's posts have been truly motivating .
    2. TOPAMAX! For me, this has been invaluable. Granted, the first week was very difficult. I went through cravings daily for about 5 or 6 days where I craved sweets, carbs of any kind, and of course AL, but now that the physiologic cravings have gone away. Something is different and I do not crave the wine like I did (still want it but don't crave it).
    3. Multivitamin. I have not taken the kudzu or other supplements but if you have them available I'm sure they would not hurt and probably help.

    I have not used the hypnosis tapes. The first week, my goal was to keep myself so busy and out of the house in the evenings so I wouldn't be tempted so by the time I got home it was late. I tried one yesterday but fell asleep.

    I am taking it one day at a time. I love putting the yellow zero on the tracking board. Still log on and READ READ READ. Thank you all for sharing you wisdom and experience. Hope this helps someone who is just starting out.

    Jane:new:
    jane

    In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
    - Author unknown

    #2
    Newbie, AF 13 days

    Welcome Jane,

    Congratulations on 13 days af. That's great!! Sounds like you have a plan. That alone will help you, more than you know. Keep reading and posting. I wish you the best in your new venture.

    Miso :heart:

    Comment


      #3
      Newbie, AF 13 days

      Hi Jane!
      I'm glad you started posting. I think you will really enjoy the hypnotic cds. I didn't do them in the right order, or as much as I should, and I almost always fall asleep. But RJ says they will still work. I've often thought I should be doing it in the middle of the day, when it is nice and quiet, but I still listen to them at bedtime.

      Looking forward to hearing more about you! :welcome:
      _______________
      NF since June 1, 2008
      AF since September 28, 2008
      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
      _____________
      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
      _______________
      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

      Comment


        #4
        Newbie, AF 13 days

        Thanks for your encouragement Miso and LVT25! I will definately start the CD's. I know they are there for a reason. I know how this disease is. A temptation is just around the corner waiting to catch me at a weak moment. I need to be preprared!

        Jane
        jane

        In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
        - Author unknown

        Comment


          #5
          Newbie, AF 13 days

          Jane - welcome! I'm new to the site also and just starting posting today. Congratulations on such a good start. I am still struggling, but determined to be AF. Today has been good for me. I wanted to know if you're having any side effects from the Topamax? I've been taking Campral for 2 weeks and it's not agreeing with my stomach. Thanks.

          Comment


            #6
            Newbie, AF 13 days

            JLMDetermined - Congrats on getting started to you as well. I am also struggling, some days more than others. I didn't mean to say it was "a breeze" but the Topamax does help ME. Yes, there are side effects. If you have the book, you need to follow the taper just as outlined, very slowly. Side effects are mild numbness and tingling in the hands and feet. I have had some minor difficulty with my train of thought, finding the right word, and one strange episode when I struggled with how to calculate a 15% tip at a restaurant! It is a bit annoying but seems well worth it now as my prior attempts at sobriety have always failed after 1 day. I compensate by making a lot of lists for my job to make sure I don't miss anything. I am probably drinking more caffeine than usual during working hours to help my concentration. I would say it is a minor inconvenience but does not interfere with my ability to do my job. According to what I have read online, the symptoms should lesson over time. Weight loss is also a side effect. No nausea, just decreased appetite. No other side effects are reported.

            I know that's a lot of side effects but I was/am desperate. I honestly don't know if it's Topamax or THIS SITE or both but I am almost through day 13 which is a miracle to me. Hope this helps. Keep posting no matter what you do. Keep the faith!

            Jane
            jane

            In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
            - Author unknown

            Comment


              #7
              Newbie, AF 13 days

              Jane, that is awesome! You should be very proud of yourself!

              Stay strong!! You are well on your way out!

              Love, Me
              :l
              Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

              Comment

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