I'm new here and thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Jane. I've been drinking daily for at least 9 years, 6 months. I know that because that is how old my daughter is and that is when my drinking escalated. I drank (strange to put it in past tense) one to two bottles of wine daily, spent less and less time doing things with my daughter in the evening because it interfered with my drinking time. Of course, I certainly did not admit to myself that was the reason. I have a demanding job and my reason was that I was exhausted from a long day at work, or coming down with a cold, or any other excuse I could make to stay home with my bottle of wine and let my husband or sitter run our daughter to whatever activities she may have. This has led to tremendous guilt, depression, self-loathing, and isolation.
About 2 months ago I found this site and have been reading posts frequently. I ordered the book, the hypnosis tapes, supplements, and Topamax. Interestingly, a little over a year ago, I had a friend who took Topamax for migraine headaches and lost about 15 lbs. I had another friend who was actually prescribed it for weight loss. I am someone always looking for a quick fix to lose 10 lbs so I started Topamax for weight loss and not only did I lose 10 lbs but noticed that I would leave half full glasses of wine on the counter before going to bed. Something I would never do before! At that time I was not interested in becoming AF, nor did I have the OTHER tools at my disposal to become sober. I just noticed that I drank less while I was on it. I only stayed on it a couple of months and went off of it and was back to my usual ways.
Now, I have been doing this program for the most part and I am on day 13 AF. For me, the keys to my sobriety thus far are prioritized below:
1. THIS SITE!!! Even though I haven't posted, the messages I have read and inspiration I have gained through other's posts have been truly motivating .
2. TOPAMAX! For me, this has been invaluable. Granted, the first week was very difficult. I went through cravings daily for about 5 or 6 days where I craved sweets, carbs of any kind, and of course AL, but now that the physiologic cravings have gone away. Something is different and I do not crave the wine like I did (still want it but don't crave it).
3. Multivitamin. I have not taken the kudzu or other supplements but if you have them available I'm sure they would not hurt and probably help.
I have not used the hypnosis tapes. The first week, my goal was to keep myself so busy and out of the house in the evenings so I wouldn't be tempted so by the time I got home it was late. I tried one yesterday but fell asleep.
I am taking it one day at a time. I love putting the yellow zero on the tracking board. Still log on and READ READ READ. Thank you all for sharing you wisdom and experience. Hope this helps someone who is just starting out.
Jane:new:
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